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[Random Spark]

stick an impassable, shoot throughable obstacle between them and the enemy. Problem solved so long as they have ammo.

I like this guy. Lets make him my militia commander.

[HmH]

stick an impassable, shoot throughable obstacle between them and the enemy. Problem solved so long as they have ammo.

I like this guy. Lets make him my militia commander.

No. I'm your militia commander. Splint, while certainly not without good ideas, seems too pessimistic for a leader.
I mean, 'when we're all dead'? We won't be dead for a long, long time. Remember: we're not dwarves. We will not suffer FPS death at any visible point in the future, and therefore the idea of dying early to begin again is rendered less than lucrative when applied to us humans.
In the Twelfth Bay, Prevailing is Fun.

@Olliolli: I heartily approve of your suggestion on fortifications. Let's waste no more time and go install murderholes into the main corridor.

[Random Spark]

I like this guy. Lets make him my militia commander.

No. I'm your militia commander. Splint, while certainly not without good ideas, seems too pessimistic for a leader.
I mean, 'when we're all dead'? We won't be dead for a long, long time. Remember: we're not dwarves. We will not suffer FPS death at any visible point in the future, and therefore the idea of dying early to begin again is rendered less than lucrative when applied to us humans.
In the Twelfth Bay, Prevailing is Fun.

@Olliolli: I heartily approve of your suggestion on fortifications. Let's waste no more time and go install murderholes into the main corridor.
[/quote]


See, this is why i like that whole GUI part of not being in the fortress.
Now i can't just click around and figure out who is assigned to who in the military menu.


Formally, I'd like to request "rainy day" iron bolts and a silver crossbow..

Ya know. So i can defend myself.

[HmH]

Formally, I'd like to request "rainy day" iron bolts and a silver crossbow..

Ya know. So i can defend myself.

Aha, another volunteer!

Sadly, all our iron bolts have been sown across the map by our primary bolt destacking specialists, the dreaded Hunters. Forging more is not yet a possibility. Afraid you'll have to do with sharpened pencils missile stakes for now.

Don't worry, you'll have double the normal ammo and 29 people's worth of fire support on your back, and also some sharpened sticks on a lever remote-controlled kingsize stakes to penetrate the green-skinned menace from the safety of this dining room.
Volunteers such as yourself will also enjoy exclusive access to the fort's finest murderholes for the optimal goblin-staking experience.

UPD: I've noticed a worrying tendency of people getting all worked up when they think about who'll get the prettiest captives. I won't go along with Splint's suggestion; prisoners are too valuable to just kill them on the spot.
Instead, in order to prevent pointless hostilities from arising after every siege, I declare that ALL prisoners of war belong to the military commander in charge of fortress defense. In the time of peace, the military commander will be responsible for distribution of said prisoners to petitioners around the fort.

[Gizogin]

Gizogin; think you can get these damn animals fixed so we can control their breeding?

I second the motion, esspecially with the cats.

Well, I normally only operate on dwarves, but I see no reason that my skills and knowledge shouldn't apply to cats as well.  I'll set off an operating theater for the procedures.  In the meantime, place all the cats that you don't want to breed in a cage in the hospital.  I'll begin as soon as I can.

[Broseph Stalin]

Well, I normally only operate on dwarves, but I see no reason that my skills and knowledge shouldn't apply to cats as well.  I'll set off an operating theater for the procedures.  In the meantime, place all the cats that you don't want to breed in a cage in the hospital.  I'll begin as soon as I can.

If you are removing the testicle bones from cats you should also endeavor to discover the bones that make them mew. Cat's are good that cannot mew.

[KodKod]

If you are removing the testicle bones from cats you should also endeavor to discover the bones that make them mew. Cat's are good that cannot mew.

Don't you even think about it. What use is a cat that cannot mew?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Broseph Stalin]

Don't you even think about it. What use is a cat that cannot mew?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Compromise!
Observe the following, Kodkod cannot fly, there are no minecarts, Corai is a Kobold, and cat's that mew are terrible.

I have done science to divine the reason that dwarves without the proper bones function as they do. If the bones of the legs or feet do not function they cannot walk, if bones are added in the form of a crutch the walking is continued. Clearly since Kodkod cannot fly she does not have enough bones in her legs. There are no minecarts clearly because we have angered god, to have minecarts we must please god. Corai is a Kobold and therefore it is Corai who has angered god.

The solution is simple: Gizogin will discover which bones of Corai have angered god and remove them. Gizogin will then remove the legs of Kodkod and add to them the god-angering bones of Corai. The legs will be reattached to Kodkod giving her the power of flight and pleasing god who will give us minecarts and Kodkod will allow Broseph Stalin to have the mewing bones of all the cats in her gratitude to him.

[KodKod]

What did I just read?

[Eric Blank]

If you are removing the testicle bones from cats you should also endeavor to discover the bones that make them mew. Cat's are good that cannot mew.

Don't you even think about it. What use is a cat that cannot mew?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It has none! Mewing kittens are good!

I demand cherty-chert chert furniture in every furnishable room!

Beautifult shiny chert... Fragments like very hard, thick glass for improvised weaponry.

Don't you even think about it. What use is a cat that cannot mew?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Compromise!
Observe the following, Kodkod cannot fly, there are no minecarts, Corai is a Kobold, and cat's that mew are terrible.

I have done science to divine the reason that dwarves without the proper bones function as they do. If the bones of the legs or feet do not function they cannot walk, if bones are added in the form of a crutch the walking is continued. Clearly since Kodkod cannot fly she does not have enough bones in her legs. There are no minecarts clearly because we have angered god, to have minecarts we must please god. Corai is a Kobold and therefore it is Corai who has angered god.

The solution is simple: Gizogin will discover which bones of Corai have angered god and remove them. Gizogin will then remove the legs of Kodkod and add to them the god-angering bones of Corai. The legs will be reattached to Kodkod giving her the power of flight and pleasing god who will give us minecarts and Kodkod will allow Broseph Stalin to have the mewing bones of all the cats in her gratitude to him.

What...?

[Broseph Stalin]

What did I just read?

It bears no relevance, remove your legs. It's okay I am a ‼Scientist‼.

[KodKod]

It bears no relevance, remove your legs. It's okay I am a ‼Scientist‼.

An interesting proposal. Allow me a carefully considered retort.

Scorpions.

[Gizogin]

Don't you even think about it. What use is a cat that cannot mew?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Compromise!
Observe the following, Kodkod cannot fly, there are no minecarts, Corai is a Kobold, and cat's that mew are terrible.

I have done science to divine the reason that dwarves without the proper bones function as they do. If the bones of the legs or feet do not function they cannot walk, if bones are added in the form of a crutch the walking is continued. Clearly since Kodkod cannot fly she does not have enough bones in her legs. There are no minecarts clearly because we have angered god, to have minecarts we must please god. Corai is a Kobold and therefore it is Corai who has angered god.

The solution is simple: Gizogin will discover which bones of Corai have angered god and remove them. Gizogin will then remove the legs of Kodkod and add to them the god-angering bones of Corai. The legs will be reattached to Kodkod giving her the power of flight and pleasing god who will give us minecarts and Kodkod will allow Broseph Stalin to have the mewing bones of all the cats in her gratitude to him.

I didn't quite get what this is about, but I read something about removing legs and altering body structures, so I'm all for it.  Unless I have to do something that would put me in danger, or even at any inconvenience.  Removing Kodkod's legs, for example, would involve scorpions, so I'm against that part of the plan.

[Broseph Stalin]

You have failed to appreciate my genius! I have created this chart to explain

This is a rat bone. On the item is an exceptionally designed image of Toady the deity of updates and bugfixes, Corai the Kobold, and bones in rat bone. Corai the Kobold is flaunting the bones. Toady is offended. The relates to the offending of Toady by the Kobold Corai with bones.
On the item is an exceptionally designed image of Toady the deity of updates and bugfixes, minecarts, and dwarves. Toady is withholding the minecarts, the dwarves are weeping. This relates to the withholding of minecarts by Toady.
On the item is an exceptionally designed image of Gizogin, Corai's bones, and KodKod's legs in rat bone. Gizogin is placing the bones in the legs. This relates to the addition of Corai's bones to Kodkod's legs.
On the item is an exceptionally designed image of Kodkod, Toady, and Corai's bones in rat bone. Kodkod is flying with the bones. Kodkod is smiling. Toady is pleased. This relates to the pleasing of Toady with the bones of Corai by the dwarf Kodkod.
On the item is an exceptionally designed image of Toady Dwarves and Minecarts in rat bone. Toady is giving the dwarves the minecarts. The dwarves are rejoicing. 

[Talvieno]

So... If we of The Twelfth Bay elected to have Gizogin shove pieces of Corai the Kobold into KodKod's legs... She would fly?

Would the pieces have to be periodically replaced?

EDIT (by request (never had this happen before)):

-WhatHeSaidSnip-

I tried to hint at it, but I guess I didn't do a good enough job.

The fortress I'm running - my DF version of The Twelfth Bay - is currently in its second Spring now. All of this was happening in Autumn of the first year. We survived - the situation resolved itself in a rather interesting way.

I'm not allowed to assign anyone jobs that they didn't specifically request in this thread. As a result, we have almost no woodcutters, tanners, architects, and some others.
We have iron bolts now - no need to make wooden ones, except for archery practice.
I'll get to work on the crossbows anyway. As to the crossbow squads, I'm not allowed to draft anyone from the Bay12 forums who didn't specifically state they could be archers.
About tons of wooden spikes: we only have a small handful of carpenters.  That makes things a little difficult.