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[SRD]

How do you know you're not a legendary speardwarf? :O

[wierd]

Is the stick a confiscated elven "sword", or a confiscated elven "spear"?

Makes all the difference!

I'm guessing sword.  Woodie sticks get put in the upright spike dodge-em course.

[Gizogin]

dwarf king SRD with a broken pinkietoe climbs out.

ALERT!  ALERT!
Medical staff!  We have a broken toe!  This is not a drill!
I'm afraid we'll have to amputate the spleen.
I'm not going to lie to you, this is going to be our most challenging operation yet.  The bronchial tract is completely inflamed, the metatarsals are swollen, and I don't like the look of that epiglottis.  I can't promise he'll survive the procedure; in fact, I estimate only a 36% chance of success.  That won't stop us, though!  We're dwarves, and by Armok we'll plunge wildly into that subject's body cavity!

[SRD]

DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO..

Wait, the spleens not in my head..
WHAT ARE YOU DOING AHASGHWQGHHAGDSHJGAEADS



~Dwarf king SRD now speaks in tongues and twitches

[Loud Whispers]

See? Stitching the eyes shut with metal makes everything better!

[billybobfred]

billybobfred, Legendary+413 Stonecrafter.

Yeah, I just kinda, took all the crap stone from the dump and made crafts and things out of it. Hope that's okay?

[zombie urist]

Someone forgot to bury me. Then a necromancer came.   

[Sabreur]

Expedition Leader:  "Any economic skills?"
Sabreur:  "Uh... Does computer science count as mechanisms or something?"
Expedition Leader:  "No.  Your resume shows 'Novice Swordsdwarf (Rusty)'."
Sabreur:  "Yeah, I took a year of Fencing in college... but that was years ago."
Expedition Leader:  "You're drafted.  Get to the barracks.  You can smooth walls on your off-duty time or something."
Sabreur:  "Eh, beats being a hauler."

*6 months later*
Girlinhat:  "GET BACK IN THE DANGER ROOM.  OUR DOCTOR NEEDS MORE TRAINING."
Sabreur:  "C.. can I have armor this time?"
Girlinhat:  "NO."
Sabreur:  "But I'm already missing an arm, three teeth, and an eye..."
Girlinhat:  "THE TUESDAY WERE-BADGER EXPERIMENT WILL FIX THAT."
Sabreur:  "Ffffffffff...."

Apologies to Girlinhat, but if anybody is going to commit !!Science!! on a fellow Bay12 member it's probably you. :-)

[Talvieno]

Lol, Gizogin. XD Best post I've read in a while. And SRD, you were honestly kind of asking for it, making yourself a noble.


Sabreur, I have to agree... Girlinhat would be the most likely, yeah, but for everyone not directly involved, it would be a fun, knowledgeable experiment... fun with a lower case F. For those directly involved, the F goes capital. Even so, if the poor dwarves involved knew what they were participating in, they'd probably think it was awesome, too.

[Corai]

What is this?

[Johuotar]

Hah, we'd ever have consensus on anything. Thered be civil war in first minutes with too many overseers in one fort.
I'd be in dining hall waiting for something to haul.

Johuotatar has been unhappy lately. He migrated into the fortress recently. He has been complaining on the lack of chairs recently.

[Corai]

While I’m all in favour of death for breakfast I think that we’d need to introduce a “no killing the humans” rule.

Let’s be honest, dwarves aren’t much to look at, and if video games and media have taught me anything it’s that elven women, alongside being elves, are stick thin with absolutely zero curves in the right places.

KodKod needs a nice human companion.

My mistress, what media do you watch? I see elves as living-beauty due to these modern-media.

[KodKod]

My mistress, what media do you watch? I see elves as living-beauty due to these modern-media.

Everything? I dunno, name an elf who isn't stick thin. They all look like you could snap them if you sneezed in their direction, although that could work in our favour.

Pepper for everyone!

[Corai]

My mistress, what media do you watch? I see elves as living-beauty due to these modern-media.

Everything? I dunno, name an elf who isn't stick thin. They all look like you could snap them if you sneezed in their direction, although that could work in our favour.

Pepper for everyone!

Elves are thin, thats what mades them look nice. Nice and stupid.

[KodKod]

Thin? Nice?

Bah, no. I'll take average anyday. No weight range associated with those smug, tree-worshipping cannibals.