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Author Topic: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...  (Read 445443 times)

Broseph Stalin

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #990 on: April 11, 2012, 01:50:16 pm »

No, she's Kerrigan.

She'd love nothing more than to gut you and lick the blood off her fingers.
If you're trying to stifle my erection you have failed miserably.

KodKod

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #991 on: April 11, 2012, 01:50:27 pm »

No, she's Kerrigan.

Ah, so someone did get the reference after all.

Faith in the internets restored.
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Archereon

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #992 on: April 11, 2012, 01:53:17 pm »

No, she's Kerrigan.

She'd love nothing more than to gut you and lick the blood off her fingers.

I'll take your Kerrigan, and give you...



(please don't derail into Starcraft vs 40k flame war. Yes, I got the reference, but in the context of Bay 12, the creature most commonly associated with only being able to feel rage are giant sponges...Without a nervous system, the only thing they can feel...Is anger!!!)


On a related note, I've just realized that I would be a Doctor in DF, not a mechanic. Therefore I can assist in the SCIENTIFIC inquiry into dwarven child care, and the creation of Dorf Mehreens.

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I want to tell you they were bad men, cephalo.  I want to tell you that with a better overseer the Fortress never would've gotten so bad someone would get offed in a pointless fisticuffs.
But the sad truth charlie?
It was inevitable.

Loud Whispers

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #993 on: April 11, 2012, 01:58:39 pm »

Oh everyone wants to be a doctor. Well tough, unless you can kill the current CMD, no dice.

Archereon

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #994 on: April 11, 2012, 02:00:01 pm »

Is there a position for full time SCIENTIST?

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I want to tell you they were bad men, cephalo.  I want to tell you that with a better overseer the Fortress never would've gotten so bad someone would get offed in a pointless fisticuffs.
But the sad truth charlie?
It was inevitable.

Loud Whispers

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #995 on: April 11, 2012, 02:03:10 pm »

By being  part of the fortress, you are a !!SCIENCE DWAFF!! by law.

Eric Blank

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #996 on: April 11, 2012, 02:03:37 pm »

Is there a position for full time SCIENTIST?

Yes. Welcome to the !!BIOLOGY!! division.

Go hang out with the giant wolverines until you learn something about taming them.
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Oliolli

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #997 on: April 11, 2012, 02:10:03 pm »

Hey, what if Archeron became my full-time savior? Archeron would patch me up whenever I've crossed paths with KodKod, Gizogin would handle everyone else.

Archeron would be legendary+5 in all medical skills in a month.
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Archereon

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #998 on: April 11, 2012, 02:20:45 pm »

Abstract: Dwarves wonder whether or not giant wolverines can be tamed, and if so, how it can be done.

Hypothesis: There will be much !!FUN.

Materials and Methods: Using an unskilled peasant (or potash maker, as the case may be), bait the giant wolverine into a cage trap. Drop said creature into a 1 level deep hatch covered pit with goblins elves migrants (easier to get them killed without killing test subject). Wait until wolverine's teeth are removed, and its limbs are broken, then kill the attackers with method of choice. If no goblins migrants are available, migrants elves goblins will do, though test subject turnover rate likely to be higher.
Once this stage is complete, assign the creature to an animal trainer. For a control trial, do the same with a similar dwarf (ideally with identical skills and stats), but use an unharmed wolverine. For increased !!FUN, skip step 1, and conduct EXPERIMENT in or near meeting hall/dormitories.
Once the INQUIRY into the taming of wolverines is complete, conduct subsequent trials in bulk, using a variety of individuals of different skills and demographics to determine optimal trainer attributes.

Discussion: Many potential sources of error exist. For optimal yield, further experimentation should be conducted on the value of tamed giant wolverines, and their effectiveness at creatures that are "at peace with nature." Inquiry into their effectiveness as the payload of a bridge catapult could also be of use.
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I want to tell you they were bad men, cephalo.  I want to tell you that with a better overseer the Fortress never would've gotten so bad someone would get offed in a pointless fisticuffs.
But the sad truth charlie?
It was inevitable.

Gizogin

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #999 on: April 11, 2012, 02:44:58 pm »

On a related note, I've just realized that I would be a Doctor in DF, not a mechanic. Therefore I can assist in the SCIENTIFIC inquiry into dwarven child care, and the creation of Dorf Mehreens.

Hey, what if Archeron became my full-time savior? Archeron would patch me up whenever I've crossed paths with KodKod, Gizogin would handle everyone else.

Archeron would be legendary+5 in all medical skills in a month.

Welcome aboard!  I can take you on as part-time help at first, and we'll see how you get on.  If I find your !!MEDICAL PRACTICE!! to be acceptable, then I'll give you more responsibilities, and maybe even a grant to work on those Dorf Mahreens.

Speaking of which, what are we doing for currency?  Is it something we're even going to worry about?  I've just been working under the assumption that we work under a sort of service-for-service system, where you get food, clothing, and other goods and services as long as you put in your hours.  If that's the case, then I'll replace the Dorf Mahreens grant with my own personal assistance.
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Archereon

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1000 on: April 11, 2012, 02:46:02 pm »

Thanks for the warm welcome. I am most definitely not planning to pull an Aussie Dwarf on you and assume your identity and take your job.
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I want to tell you they were bad men, cephalo.  I want to tell you that with a better overseer the Fortress never would've gotten so bad someone would get offed in a pointless fisticuffs.
But the sad truth charlie?
It was inevitable.

Eric Blank

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1001 on: April 11, 2012, 02:54:10 pm »

Eric Blank has been very unhappy lately. He has been forced to endure the horrors of the Boise Art Museum recently. He has been forced to write multiple agonizing essays recently. He has been terrified of losing his financial aid and dieing a slow, horrifying death to poverty recently. He has lost a friend to their other friend recently. He has been jealous of another man recently. He has been feeling lonely and forgotten lately. He was comforted by a wonderful pet recently. He accidentally kicked a wonderful pet in the head because it was lying right under his feet recently. He has complained of thirst recently.

Poor kitty...
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1002 on: April 11, 2012, 03:11:01 pm »

Kittens give weird gas.

What's so agonizing about an art museum?

You want agony?  "Theater appreciation", led by a "drama major".
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Splint

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1003 on: April 11, 2012, 03:16:38 pm »

Damn it! I got left out of the loop again!

Talvieno

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1004 on: April 11, 2012, 03:24:49 pm »

(haven't read the last two pages or so, but...) Oh KodKod...... You forgot to mention that when the modded civs arrived, after I increased the homeotherm value, they'd set everything on fire.

We're all burning alive, and as this obviously isn't supposed to happen, I think I'm going to savescum...

EDIT: And now I have to find another way to get rid of the modded civs, too, if we don't want them to come and play.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2012, 03:28:07 pm by Talvieno »
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