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Author Topic: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...  (Read 445466 times)

exolyx

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #825 on: April 10, 2012, 01:05:46 pm »

I am a mason migrant, quick! To the walling myself into rooms!
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HmH

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #826 on: April 10, 2012, 01:21:34 pm »

Regarding the elves:
Like KodKod said, but lock the hippies in the cage trap-filled room to begin with and beat them with crossbows until they pass out.
This way, we'll have raving hippies in cages, subdued in the one true Conservative manner: merciless beating with sticks.
Oh, by the way, if the female goes stark raving mad, release her to wander the fortress. That sort of crazy has a peculiar tendency to drop their clothing piece by piece as they walk, and having elven strippers is always good for morale.

Anyway, a more detailed character sheet for me:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 10, 2012, 01:52:27 pm by HmH »
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Eric Blank

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #827 on: April 10, 2012, 02:34:26 pm »

Oh, by the way, if the female goes stark raving mad, release her to wander the fortress. That sort of crazy has a peculiar tendency to drop their clothing piece by piece as they walk, and having elven strippers is always good for morale.

I second this motion.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

JJtoocool

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #828 on: April 10, 2012, 02:51:53 pm »

Cage them, and link them to levers. May not be the most Dorfy way to do it, but the gobbos will chase down crazy elves just fine while the civilians escape.

Also, If you can get my dwarf to carry multiple sheilds + hammer/crossbow, that would be great.


Basically, while possible in theory, it would be completely impractical.
Why has construction not been initiated?
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Quote from: Goblin 3 to Goblin 1
I heard that I died.
Quote from: Goblin 1 to Goblin 3
It was inevitable.
Quote from: Goblin 3 to Goblin 1
Goodbye.
Quote from: Goblin 1 to Goblin 3
Goodbye.

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #829 on: April 10, 2012, 03:12:34 pm »

I threatened sweet, chemically induced asphixiation against anyone who gives me the "construct clear glass triode x500" build order.

Also, as the trained computer scientist, talvieno would be the poor schmuck punching hollerith cards/paper tape all day. As the story's author, I think he is refusing to permit himself that indignity, and I can't say I blame him. :)
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Loud Whispers

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #830 on: April 10, 2012, 03:15:51 pm »

Spoiler: ACTUAL DF SPOILERS (click to show/hide)

Kaleb702 Games

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #831 on: April 10, 2012, 03:16:38 pm »

I would be the brain of DOrFOS, the AI in charge of the fortresses's traps and various machinery.

Just don't find a way to make neurotoxin.
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Quote from: Rose Lalonde, Seer of Light
One simple word can so easily begin a story in a very thick book.

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #832 on: April 10, 2012, 03:21:18 pm »

Too late. Phosgene is easily prepared.

phosgene


*whistles*
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Talvieno

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #833 on: April 10, 2012, 04:46:52 pm »

Okay, then... The verdict appears to be, "beat the elves with sticks and then catch them in cages". Sounds like fun. Very... us.

Oliolli, KodKod - neither of you will get romanced by anyone, let me assure you. Unless something bad* happens.

Garath - I seriously, seriously hope you aren't serious about that.  :| I'm trying to keep tantrum spirals from happening. :P

Wierd, nobody would give you the x500 triode order. You'd be making 2.5 billion or none at all. It's just not the Bay12 way.

Kaleb702 - KodKod is going to be breeding giant scorpions. I'm sure you'll find a way to utilize that. ;)


*Fun
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Quote from: Mr Frog
Talvieno ... seems to be able to smash out novella-length tales on demand

Gizogin

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #834 on: April 10, 2012, 04:51:55 pm »

If we're caging the elves, might I humbly request one or two for, uh, testing?  I have a few radical new procedures I want to try out, and elven volunteers would be ideal.
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One FB post. Many dick jokes. Pokemon. !!VOLCANO!!. Dwarven mood thingee. Derailment itself. Girlinhat's hat. Cuba. Karl Marx. This is why i love Bay12 forums.
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #835 on: April 10, 2012, 05:29:31 pm »

Your request for "two elven test subjects" as been granted!

Contained in this package are (2, male) elven prisoners (of ambiguous sexual orientation)!

When captured, the prisoners were (in posession of 'wooden scepters' of assorted sizes, and ropereed dresses while) attempting to trade (an assortment of loincloths and female clothing) at the trade depot!

We look forward to the results of you scientific experiments!

Signed, 12th bay scientific resourcing and development comittee
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #836 on: April 10, 2012, 05:30:35 pm »

Your request for "two elven test subjects" as been granted!

Contained in this package are (2, male) elven prisoners (of ambiguous sexual orientation)!

When captured, the prisoners were (in posession of 'wooden scepters' of assorted sizes, and ropereed dresses while) attempting to trade (an assortment of loincloths and female clothing) at the trade depot!

We look forward to the results of you scientific experiments!

Signed, 12th bay scientific resourcing and development comittee
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Garath

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #837 on: April 10, 2012, 05:40:25 pm »

Garath - I seriously, seriously hope you aren't serious about that.  :| I'm trying to keep tantrum spirals from happening. :P

nah, but it was a fun contrast with the last few who wanted nothing more than to be sociopaths  ;D

Though seriously, If "me" can spend his time just helping out at the farm and brewing as needed, rest of the time chilling out drinking his own brews and talking to people, fine with me.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2012, 05:42:03 pm by Garath »
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And then everyone melted.

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #838 on: April 10, 2012, 05:47:54 pm »

You make sociopathic tendencies sound like such a BAD thing..... seriously, nothing is funnier than watching an elf turn blue in the face, hyperventallate in wide-eyed terror as their blood stops transporting oxygen.

After eating a sugar roasted almond.

My job here is done. :)
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Gizogin

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #839 on: April 10, 2012, 05:54:09 pm »

Your request for "two elven test subjects" as been granted!

Contained in this package are (2, male) elven prisoners (of ambiguous sexual orientation)!

When captured, the prisoners were (in posession of 'wooden scepters' of assorted sizes, and ropereed dresses while) attempting to trade (an assortment of loincloths and female clothing) at the trade depot!

We look forward to the results of you scientific experiments!

Signed, 12th bay scientific resourcing and development comittee

Why, they're perfect!  Just set them (in separate cages) in one of the operating theaters.  You'll have to wait for a bit while I clear out all these cats, though.
Speaking of which, my experimentation on the cats has produced some useful data about feline reproduction: dead cats don't breed.  While obvious in hindsight, I only stumbled upon this discovery after one of the cats to which I was welding a large metal box expired.  Anyway, a few cats did manage to survive the operation, and will now keep their litters contained.  Should anyone want to remove the kittens for any reason, I put a small hatch into the kitten-boxes.  Be advised, however, that you may have to dislocate/break several of the kitten's bones in order to remove it.  Apparently, I overestimated the flexibility of newborn cats.
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Quote from: franti
"Let's expose our military to zombie-dust so they can't feel pain. They don't NEED skin."
Quote from: Ipwnurmom221
One FB post. Many dick jokes. Pokemon. !!VOLCANO!!. Dwarven mood thingee. Derailment itself. Girlinhat's hat. Cuba. Karl Marx. This is why i love Bay12 forums.
The rest of my sig.
Fear the fluffballs
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