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[Oliolli]

Nah, if I need to get rid of an organ I'll just get somewhere within a kilometre of KodKod.

[Reudh]

So KodKod has an 'Eviscerating Aura' thing going on.


WEAPONISING POTENTIAL?

[wierd]

Being a creature of chaos, kodkod's destructive potential defies external manipulation and control.

At least on the long term.  Short term manipulation is possible, but with devistating side effects.

For health and safety reasons, theoretical methods of externally controlled and temporarily directed !!RAGE!! Have been redacted from this post.


I other news, has anyone seen my poisons? The reagent shelf was broken into lately....

[Corai]

Nah, if I need to get rid of an organ I'll just get somewhere within a kilometre of KodKod.

I aint meanin' it like that.


Why you think kobolds carry daggers?

[wierd]

Because they are too small to carry short swords. I mean, they have to multigrasp the daggers, for goodness sake!

[Loud Whispers]

They are large daggers.

[Corai]

Because they are too small to carry short swords. I mean, they have to multigrasp the daggers, for goodness sake!

You seem to not understand what I mean.


Dwarves. Gold figure they cant understand something as simple as this.

[wierd]

Nono, I understand completely!

Kobolds don't carry around bags for their loot, because they spindly weak. For the same reason, the only weapons they can carry are daggers. Copper, because it can be cold forged. The daggers are almost too much for them, because they have to multigrasp.

Kobolds are torn between "teh shiny!", their ability to carry it, and the risk of deadly smooshing for trying.  So, they balance priorities, and carry a weapon that can be held with one hand if needed. However, they tend to over compensate (probably a size related psychosis) and carry weapons way larger than they can easily handle.

They would be better off carrying copper scalpels.

[Corai]

Nono, I understand completely!

Kobolds don't carry around bags for their loot, because they spindly weak. For the same reason, the only weapons they can carry are daggers. Copper, because it can be cold forged. The daggers are almost too much for them, because they have to multigrasp.

Kobolds are torn between "teh shiny!", their ability to carry it, and the risk of deadly smooshing for trying.  So, they balance priorities, and carry a weapon that can be held with one hand if needed. However, they tend to over compensate (probably a size related psychosis) and carry weapons way larger than they can easily handle.

They would be better off carrying copper scalpels.

.....

The kobold pulls out a note-pad, crosses off dwarves, and circles elves.

New most intelligent race......WHO THE HELL PUT KOBOLDS ON HERE?

[DwarfMeister]

Me:You!!!
Other Dwarf: Who? Me?
Me:Yes. You. What is your name?
Other Dwarf: Uuuuh... Urist?
Me: Okay, Urist... I want you to bring everybody into the woods and start cutting down trees.
Urist: Why?
Me: Our survival is at stake and I am counting on you to help us see through this situation.
Urist: Ummm... Okay, but...
Me: Are you on my side or not?
Urist: Yeah... But...
Me: Look... This work is most definitely going to suck, but just think about all of your descendants gathering around the magnificent statue made made in your honor.
Urist: *thinks for a second* Sounds good.
Me: Yes. It does. Now, get to work!!!
Urist: Okay. *walks away*
Me: *thinking to myself* Sucker...

[wierd]

Cutting wood isn't that hard.  It is with an axe, sure, but dwarves work metal. I would introduce them to the joy that is the 2-man saw.

Perhaps in time, we could delight in the elf-panty-soiling splendur that is the chainsaw.

But before that day, the 2-man saw it is. 

[Corai]

Cutting wood isn't that hard.  It is with an axe, sure, but dwarves work metal. I would introduce them to the joy that is the 2-man saw.

Perhaps in time, we could delight in the elf-panty-soiling splendur that is the chainsaw.

But before that day, the 2-man saw it is.

I would give elves assault rifles.

I would laugh as they desperately try to reload, then realizing that the bullets I gave are wooden.

[wierd]

Sorry turncoat kobold.... elves don't work metal... and trees can't contain an explosion. Also, black powder requires charcoal; a forbidden substance to elven kind. Even if you gave them flintlocks, once they learned they are powered by burned trees, they would refuse to use them.

Now, blowdart guns with deadly plant juices... maybe...  but only humans ans dwarves would use rifles. (Goblins if they ever learned how.... which I would prevent.)

[Corai]

Sorry turncoat kobold.... elves don't work metal... and trees can't contain an explosion. Also, black powder requires charcoal; a forbidden substance to elven kind. Even if you gave them flintlocks, once they learned they are powered by burned trees, they would refuse to use them.

Now, blowdart guns with deadly plant juices... maybe...  but only humans ans dwarves would use rifles. (Goblins if they ever learned how.... which I would prevent.)

Thats the idea! Make them feel guilty once they learn of it!

[WillowLuman]

This talk of chainsaws is most appealing. Should we acquire them, we should rev them in a way that implies to elves, "Don't say anything and we'll stick to using these on goblins."