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[King DZA]

So, during one of my play sessions of the astounding game that is Dwarf Fortress, I had an epiphany, and my mind was suddenly flooded with ways to make this game immensely better in nearly every aspect. Seeing as it would be a crime not to inform everyone of these groundbreaking ideas, I have decided to make a thread about it:

First of all, get ready for this, how amazing it would be if our dwarves had wheelbarrows, pack animals, or were able to pick up MORE THAN ONE STACK/ITEM AT A TIME! It would make fortress management a world more efficient, greatly cutting down on hauling time.
But that's not all, just think about how cool it would be to see your dwarves hauling things in HD detail. That's right, I'm talking 3D DWARF FORTRESS! This would be an absolutely wondrous addition to the game. Because, let's face it, ASCII went out of style decades ago. How grand would it be to be able to SEE the discontent on a dwarf's face as he complains about the lack of chairs, or to see the lifelike texture of a ☼Kitten Tallow Roast☼. Just picture being able to witness a full 3D battle with your militia fighting against that rhythmically undulating blob of vomit!

Of course, full 3D support for Dwarf Fortress would obviously be quite demanding on any computer, especially considering DF's single-threaded nature. That's why I propose we make a petition demanding that ToadyOne begin to work exclusively on making Dwarf Fortress support MULTITHREADING! Anyone that wishes to sign this petition just has to say so in a reply. Now, I know what you're thinking, "King DZA, this is simply too many great suggestions for my brain to handle! I'm completely speechless as to how you managed to come up with such awe-inspiring ideas!" Well I'm not done yet!

As we all know, making Dwarf Fortress multithreaded would be a huge undertaking, this is why I also suggest that Toady HIRE OTHER PEOPLE TO HELP HIM! It would make the workload much more manageable and everything move along a lot faster in general. I'm honestly surprised Toady never thought of this himself, But I'm sure he will be forever grateful to me for such undoubtedly life changing advice.
Finally, since Toady and his work team will be occupied with the multithreading endeavor, I can see no better way to ensure that game itself continues to be worked on other than making the whole thing OPENSOURCE! That way, the community can take over working on features and bugfixes, while Toady can peacefully focus on managing his employees to complete the multithreading project. I mean, just look at the statistics and you'll see that making a game opensource normally solves roughly 100% of all its problems!

Am I fucking brilliant or what?

[Gotdamnmiracle]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkfVdrtLcRs&feature=related

[Tirunus]

Making dwarf fortress easier to get into and make things not horribly inefficient? What are you? Some fucking elf?

[IT 000]

Let me get the Footkerchief signal out...

[GreatWyrmGold]

If I didn't have the sneaking suspicion that you were being sarcastic, I'd point out that the first two are VERY suggested, especially the latter, and that the third would be difficult (if Toady even wanted to split up the work), because supposedly DF is complex enough that it would take a while to even explain how the game already works.

If you were being sarcastic, though, then let me say that you left out feces.

[Gotdamnmiracle]

What's todays date again?

[Boozebeard]

Wheelbarrows and pack animals would be a good addition to the game. Especially for stone hauling and moving trade goods to the depot.

[RenoFox]

You forgot to mention feces and sewage.

[WillowLuman]

Whats that law of social science that states that if someone says something sarcastically or jokingly, many people will think they were being serious?

[Sus]

Just picture being able to witness a full 3D battle with your militia fighting against that rhythmically undulating blob of vomit!

...I think you just made a very convincing argument for ASCII-only graphics. :S



(Yes, checked the date of the OP before replying. )

[Sus]

You forgot to mention feces and sewage.

And sex! Lots and lots of hairy dwarf sex! Especially after the 3D project gets underway.
(What? Of course female dwarves have beards, even if it doesn't say so in the raws. Obviously, there's a bug in the raws and fanon is in the right.)
Also, the game absolutely, definitely demands to have chupacabras, bigfeet, Kokopelli and <insert obscure legend here>.

[Capntastic]

Signed

[dizzyelk]

(What? Of course female dwarves have beards, even if it doesn't say so in the raws. Obviously, there's a bug in the raws and fanon is in the right.)

That's actually the first thing I mod in, right before changing animal names so I can look at a cage in the depot and see a stray stallion as opposed to stray horse of indeterminate gender. Its like they don't want to look at certain critters' bits, but have no trouble checking others.

[slothen]

successful troll is successful

[Putnam]

successful troll is successful

no, not at all

it was a joke that the people failed to get >_>