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[terkiey]

I am there! though I could be long to respond, due to both being in europe and currently cramming for stupid exam/contest (it's an exam where only the xx best ones are taken. That sound stupid? it is. but it's the only way toward best schools there.)

I'm European so that shouldn't be a problem.

[Johnfalcon99977]

Still here.

[Devling]

Soon...

[Doomblade187]

Waitlist!

Name (normal human, I suppose): Somebody

[terkiey]

Kaian

You find yourself stood around, like a brave hero looking for evil to vanquish!
Someone hands you a newspaper, it says: "WANTEDeth - The Soviet Union foreth theeth murdereth ofeth 4819247108eth appleseth!"

You see a tavern with a sign on it: "Yeeth Oldeth Inneth"
You don't know what is around you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan Shitbitch

Oh what the fuck? Is that a beehive on that turtle-eating-stool?? Anyway, ask the nice tall man for anothr drink, brain! Woah, what was this place called again? Yeeth Oliver Twist.. . whatever you see a picture of a very evil looking guy... : WANTEDeth - The Soviet Union foreth theeth murdereth ofeth four billion, eight hundred and nineteen million, two hundred and forty-seven thousand, one hundred and eighteth appleseth!" You want to kill hiim, yoooou'll *CHRah* *ak*

You almost die choking on your own saliva...

Your intoxicated! YAY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Soviet Union

You are the dark lord of apples, the deathbringer of fruit, the HARBINGER... OF DEATH .. AND FRUIT!!
You have slain countless of newbie adventurers trying to stop you, but has recently got annoying... So you had to leave your ultimate awesome volcano base.

It's dark and your scared.
Your orb of story advance shows you two adventurers, one that is currently almost disabled with alcohol in the Inn and some guy looking brave outside the Inn, how peculiar indeed!

Stats/Other

Spoiler: Player List (click to show/hide)

cerapa ~ Cerapa
kingfisher1112 ~ Killfuck
NRDL ~ NRDL
______________________________
kaian-a-coel ~ Kaian
mcclay ~ Ryan Shitbitch
TCM ~ The Soviet Union
____________________________________
Johnfalcon99977 ~ Leon the Assasin
New Guy ~ Myself. No really, as 'Myself'.
NRDL ~ NRDL
Keff ~ Keff
Devling ~ Bastard McBaby Biter!
MikaTheCrazy ~ Crazycam (A sentient camera on a tripod)
aaron21 ~ aaron32 (Hamster in a wheel.)
Doomblade187 ~ Somebody
----------------------------------------

Spoiler: Kaian's Inventory (click to show/hide)

Newspaper

Spoiler: Ryan Shitbitch's Inventory (click to show/hide)

Newspaper, 3 beers and an empty mug.

Spoiler: The Soviet Union's Inventory (click to show/hide)

Orb of Story advance and a torch

[kaian-a-coel]

enter the inn, looking badass.

then ask where I could find some equipment, and this villain.

[terkiey]

Kaian

You decide to enter Inn... BADASSLY! No-one notices. You look around and see many people conversing, 2 people stand out, a drunkard who is staring at one of the stools, he has a newspaper in the left hand, 3 beers in his right hand and an empty mug in front of him. The other is a really short guy armwrestling for money, he is winning against even the biggest thugs here. You also see a door to the basement and the bartender. Behind the bartender there is a giant platinum coin on a shelf with all the liquor.

You feel badass, maybe you should go armwrestle that midget.
You feel greedy, maybe you should take that coin.
You feel curious, maybe you should ask (Insert here) where you could find equipment and ,'The Soviet Union,'
You feel random, maybe you should (Insert here).

[kaian-a-coel]

I feel very curious, and I ask the bartender where to find equipment and the villain known as "the soviet union". Also what's behind this door.

And then go to the armwrestle and bet on the midget.

[terkiey]

Kaian

You feel very curious and go ask the bartender where to find equipment and the villain known as ,"The Soviet Union."
"What do I look like, a psychic," he replies, "how the fuck would I know, go ask someone important!"
"Oh, well then," you say, "What is behind that door then?"
"SHUTUP! YOU MAY NOT GO IN THERE, EVER! IF YOU DO I'LL BUST A CAP YO'," He screams.

After talking to the special bartender, you go to bet on the midget in the arm wrestling business. You bet your newspaper as that is the only thing you have.
D6 + 1 = 5
You earn 5 bronze coins!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stats/Other

Spoiler: Kaian's Inventory (click to show/hide)

Newspaper, 5 bronze coins

[kaian-a-coel]

sweet. now I go out and search for a equipment store (I need a weapon.)

[TCM]

The Soviet Union had a secret. There was a reason it survived this long: It was because the Soviet Union was not one person, but rather a collection of 3 Billion Eastern Europeans and Asians, making it quite tough to kill.

The Soviet Union is scared. "How shall we burn fruit without light?" asks Secretary of the Communist Party. "It is true comrades, we are in grave danger!" The Soviet people groan and reach for the vodka. "Wait!" yells Comrade Okiebalookie, Head Chairman of Communist Trading Cards and Bobbleheads. "Why don't we simply take over a foreign country! FOR THE MOTHERLAND!" The people cheer and agree. Soon, the Soviet Union is off to overtake the nearest country. They are armed with AK47s, Cold War Warheads, Fuzzy Hats, Loud Chanting, Vodka and Beets. The Soviet Union also has the power to make it's enemies cold and depressed.

[mcclay]

Ryan summons the most pissed off thing ever since himself, Karkat Vantas

[Devling]

The Soviet Union had a secret. There was a reason it survived this long: It was because the Soviet Union was not one person, but rather a collection of 3 Billion Eastern Europeans and Asians, making it quite tough to kill.

The Soviet Union is scared. "How shall we burn fruit without light?" asks Secretary of the Communist Party. "It is true comrades, we are in grave danger!" The Soviet people groan and reach for the vodka. "Wait!" yells Comrade Okiebalookie, Head Chairman of Communist Trading Cards and Bobbleheads. "Why don't we simply take over a foreign country! FOR THE MOTHERLAND!" The people cheer and agree. Soon, the Soviet Union is off to overtake the nearest country. They are armed with AK47s, Cold War Warheads, Fuzzy Hats, Loud Chanting, Vodka and Beets. The Soviet Union also has the power to make it's enemies cold and depressed.

That is the most hilarous thing I have heard all day.

[terkiey]

It's difficult, because I would rather not give you a million man advantage... AH HA! I'll do 2 dice rolls...

Kaian

You leave the Inn and go looking for an equipment shop, you see a shop titled, "Yeeee Oleth Armoreth Shopeth," and a shop called, "Yeeee Oleth Weaponeth Shopeth", you decide to go into the weapon shop.

In the weapon shop, you see, a shop keeper, and 6 weapons on high shelves. The weapons are: A mace, A dagger, A zwei-hander, A katana, A spear and A set of claws to wear on your hands.

What are you going to do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan Shitbitch

Ryan summons the most pissed off thing since himself, Karkat Vantas.

You summon the most pissed off thing you have ever seen.

You appear in this, what looks to be a bar...
YOU ARE FUCKING PISSED OFF, YOU SCREAM "WHAT THE FUCK YOU LOOKIN' AT MIDGET," AND YOU TRY TO CHOP HIS HEAD WITH YOUR SICKLE, YOU COMPLETELY FUCKING MISS THEN DIE OF CANCER.

The bartender says, well those drinks will cost 3 silver coins.
You stumble and fall flat on your face while getting off your stool.
When you get back up, you check your pockets and realise you have only got 2 bronze coins. What are you going to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Soviet Union

*dice* *dice* = 2 (You poor thing)      

The Soviet troops rallied, they go invade China.
You are in China, in a town called Hanate-suzuki-civic-harrow, your in a group of 3 billion soldiers. You are burning hous-

You see an unfathomable amount of people in the distance, the person at the front of the group screams in terror, "MAYBE 6 OR 60 BILLION sober TROOPS INCOMING!

After many a days fighting, the field is littered with 2.999999999 billion soldiers of The Soviet Union dead bodies and 3 billion ak47s and 2.999999999 billion fuzzy hats, vodka bottles and beets. The loud chanting is gone...

You are the last one, they are tying you to a piece of cylindrical metal. They shout, "5, 4, 3 , 2, 1... BLAST OFF!" The rocket shoots off and you crash into the roof of a house, through the floor and into the basement. You are in a basement, you still have an orb of advance story and a flashlight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stats/Other

Spoiler: Kaian's Inventory (click to show/hide)

Newspaper, 5 bronze coins

Spoiler: The Soviet Union's Inventory (click to show/hide)

Orb of advance story, flashlight

Spoiler: Ryan Shitbitch's Inventory (click to show/hide)

2 bronze coins, blood on face

Spoiler: Player List (click to show/hide)

cerapa ~ Cerapa
kingfisher1112 ~ Killfuck
NRDL ~ NRDL
______________________________
kaian-a-coel ~ Kaian
mcclay ~ Ryan Shitbitch
TCM ~ The Soviet Union
____________________________________
Johnfalcon99977 ~ Leon the Assasin
New Guy ~ Myself. No really, as 'Myself'.
NRDL ~ NRDL
Keff ~ Keff
Devling ~ Bastard McBaby Biter!
MikaTheCrazy ~ Crazycam (A sentient camera on a tripod)
aaron21 ~ aaron32 (Hamster in a wheel.)
Doomblade187 ~ Somebody
----------------------------------------

[kaian-a-coel]

Ask for the cost of each weapons, and check the shopkeeper to see if he is strong or weak (physically). If he is weak and no one else is near, ask to see the spear closer, to try it (balance, etc... sound professionnal).

Then try the spear on the shopkeeper, promptly killing him. Then grab the spear, the katana and the dagger, and go to the armour shop.

If the armour shopkeeper is not a strong badass, kill him and grab armour, put it on and get off town quickly.