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Author Topic: Greetings adventurer!  (Read 4149 times)

FourierSeries

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Re: Greetings adventurer!
« Reply #15 on: April 04, 2012, 02:00:53 am »

Nothing like DF Fast Transit Service. We drop out of warp right on top of an ominous looking pack of E's.

Das Boot: "We're here. Now follow me and be -"
Suril Godanmarbok: "Elves? MAIM BLOOD KILL!" *charge*
Arthor SorO & Sniper & Extra Last Minute Hammerman Hireling: "RRRRRR!" *charge*
Gimpy: *drag* "Here" *drag* "I" *drag* "Come" *drag*
Das Boot: "Elves? Wait why are they .. isn't this a bandit camp? GET BACK HERE YOU BLOODY CRETINS IT'S JUST A HARMLESS FAMILY OF EMUS STOP .. fine." *sulk*sulk*sulk*

Five minutes later they return to the tree I'm sitting under. Buddha did this to contemplate the all. I'm contemplating setting fire to everything.

Das Boot: "Now follow me and .. one. Two. Uh, many? Where. Is. She?"
Gimpy: "Last I saw boss she was eatin' some Emu."

I gather up the gang & go find her. Sure enough she's standing on top of an Emu - *bite*shakes around by <body part>*bite* - ad nauseam.

Das Boot: Iron Whip->Emu *splat* "Still have that mace? Try using it next time. Please?"
Suril Godanmarbok: "Bandits." *charge*

Ah, finally. They gang up on this one poor sod & go to town. I spy a lone pikeman off in the distance, sneak up a bit, & launch attack pattern plan delta.

Das Boot: *tippy toe* "EAT HALBERD!" *whoosh*wobble*groundthunk* *tippy toe* "EAT SPEAR!" *whoosh*wobble*groundthunk* *tippy toe* "More spear?" *groundthunk* *tippy -*
Bandit Pikeman: "Hey you!"
Das Boot: "Dammit. Fine." Iron Whip->impossible head shot *splat*
Bandit: *dies*

( Far out. My dwarfs have been on the receiving end of this crap too many times. It's nice to be the cheesy bastard for a change. I've noted it's fairly easy to disarm / dis-shield / dis-leg your opponent by intelligently wielding a whip. After that you just stand there, torture the bejezus out of them, break everything, & level up nicely. A recent discovery for me, I'm not all that good with a whip yet, so that head shot was a lucky break. I think I woke the neighbors I was yelling so loud. )

We murder the rest of the camp, taking them one or two at a time. Roll another camp the same, including the meaningless mad cap Emu chase at start. Now it's time to rest up & heal, so we camp out in some useless shop sleeping for two days.

Next lesson: It is possible to kill yourself via sleep induced starvation. While I did not manage to pull this off I came very close.

I'll end this episode here with a question. Background: After eating I decided to save the flask water for a real emergency & walked over to the nearest river outside of town to quench my thirst. Exit travel mode & .. dingos. Zillions of them. OH YEAH LEVELING UP TIME .. not. I was useless, couldn't hit a damn thing. Until I chugged that flask. We all survived with many a toothy tattooed scar to show for this misadventure. My cocky confidence sure took a hit. Question: Does thirst status effect combat performance? Was this a fluke? Dingo dodgers are crazy scary mon.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2012, 06:34:10 pm by FourierSeries »
Logged
I don't think losing guts actually kills you, you just throw up and pass out and bleed to death.
This was supposed to be a cool upgrade. All I got was more hostile zombies.

FourierSeries

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Re: Greetings adventurer!
« Reply #16 on: April 05, 2012, 11:02:44 pm »

"When the truth is found to be lies & all the joy within you dies." ~ Jefferson Airplane

A sweet & intense romance, lasting all of five days if you include time spent sleeping off injuries. Not short enough as Das Boot understood these things. Patience was a virtue for others.

Another camp of bored farmers playing at banditry? Why not, the others were all same. Das Boot deigned not to even notice the two guards, leaving them to his homicidal gangsters. Infiltrating the center of the camp he finds their leader. Three quick shots of his iron whip & that so called leader lies at his feet, arms & one leg broken. Das Boot paints the landscape red with his blood, taking his time, working off some frustration. He must have that singular silvery statuesque work of a goddess. He shall have! He snaps out of his reverie. What's taking them so long? Backtracking into the horrible discovery that he is not the only one with a taste for blood landscaping. Whatever else they were not, these last two bandits were well armed.

Gimpy's prone on the grass - out cold! A single glace told that Gimpy was a mess; but, that was normal. At least Gimpy was safe for now. More worrying was the cluster such of body parts surrounding an iron axe armed bandit. The nameless hammer-man still held his own here trying to distract that axeman from gutting the sniper once & for all. Clearly the axeman judged the sniper as the greatest threat - chopping merrily away like some bad, mad, butcher. The sniper crawled & bled & bashed away in return for all he was worth. "Moron's out of ammo," Das Boot muttered, "From now on it's only Elven snipers - who won't blow their wad on Emus." Suril Godanmarbok was down next to the sniper, missing a hand & weaponless, biting the axeman's ankles to even less effect. This axeman would win this one in his own good time.

Das Boot could hear the deceptive Gods of distraction goading him on "Gather up your hearts desire & jet you fool!" Yet there was one more bandit on this battlefield, & he was of Das Boot's own order, a monster truly to be feared. As Das Boot had done to their leader so now this lasher had done to Author SorO. Few bones unbroken remained to Author. Still he rolled & dodged in the mud & gore close to passing out. Das Boot would be next. This had to end now.

Das Boot: *tippy toe* Iron Whip->Arm *whack*

 :o The lasher loses hold of his Silver Whip!  :o

Das Boot's heart beat as never before! He tingled, he blushed, he jumped, he cried out in utter throws of ecstasy! It was real! It was there for the taking! There is true love in this world! IT WAS HIS!

Das Boot: "I loved you as a brother dear lasher. You were the chosen one of the silver order! My chosen one! I .. I .. I LOVE YOU!"
Lasher: "My arm! You bastard!" *bite*
Das Boot: Silver Whip->headshot *splat* "Not cool dude. No biting."

In short order Das Boot remade the axeman into a broken bloody mess, then pulled back to sit & admire his newest love. The axeman was now a gift for his companions to redeem themselves on. They took their time.

Das Boot: "Good job guys - take a day & a half to sleep it off. You too madam Unomanobint."  8)
Logged
I don't think losing guts actually kills you, you just throw up and pass out and bleed to death.
This was supposed to be a cool upgrade. All I got was more hostile zombies.
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