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[GreatWyrmGold]

Recently, I was sent on a quest to kill a goblin hiding in a dungeon under the capital's keep.
When I found him, he shot me! I backed away through the door, got hit by an idea, went into hiding, and crept around to a chest containing some large gems.

Long story short, I threw stuff, and the most he reacted to it was pulling a dagger that stuck into his nose out, dropping his crossbow when a...breastplate, was it? hit his hand, and falling unconscious after a while. Oh, boy...I'm gonna fight all of my battles like this until I learn necromancy.


So, what idiotic enemies have you faced recently?

[agertor]

Elf Bandit Chief guy, rushes me, misses, goes off cliff, dies. Quest completed.

I was pissed

I set all his friends on fire, and took their ears as trophies.

I also let one stay alive, all be it, blind, no ears, shattered teeth and no lips. I also took his clothes from him. Leaving the poor guy naked, blind, deaf, and probably unable to speak in the middle of his now 1-man camp.

Later on, I used the elf ears as throwing weapons. Killed another guy with them, I imagine rigor mortis had stiffened them and their pointy nature made them like flesh-daggers.

I have still not forgiven him for this, and am now set on wiping out the elf race.

[NW_Kohaku]

I rushed into the basement of the local keep with a half-dozen comrades in tow.  Unfortunately, they go and open some other door than the one I was going through, and wind up alerting about 7 bandits to their presence, including an elite archer elf, and by the time I'm done, I'm down to a single living companion who I try to save by fast-travelling as soon as I can extract myself from combat.  It didn't work. 

Well, this basically means that all the bandits besides the elf bandit master came back to life, and now I had no companions.

On the other hand, I can now legendary sneak, so I just sneak up to each and every one of the bandits, and shiv them repeatedly from behind until they bleed to death in a room filled with their companions.  They couldn't figure out anything was wrong because I was "hiding" as I was wrestling them in order to get a better shot with my stabity-stabs.  I got spotted a couple times, but if I just ran around a corner, I could sneak again.

It's one thing to chalk up the death screams of a companion to being just the wind, but when someone has you in a choke hold, and you don't notice something's wrong...

[saltmummy626]

On the other hand, I can now legendary sneak, so I just sneak up to each and every one of the bandits, and shiv them repeatedly from behind until they bleed to death in a room filled with their companions.  They couldn't figure out anything was wrong because I was "hiding" as I was wrestling them in order to get a better shot with my stabity-stabs.  I got spotted a couple times, but if I just ran around a corner, I could sneak again.

It's one thing to chalk up the death screams of a companion to being just the wind, but when someone has you in a choke hold, and you don't notice something's wrong...

brings to mind a heavily armed and armored warrior walking through a room filled with bad dudes with his hand over his eyes shouting, "YOU CANT SEE ME! IM HIDING! I AM HIDING AND YOU CANNOT SEE ME!" and the bad guys just standing around looking at each other like "I guess we cant see this guy."

[Lordraymond]

Started new peasant adventurer, decided to solo raid a bandit camp with only proficient in shield user and novice in swimming. Needless to say, expected a merciless slaughter of my poor adventurer with only a single copper sword and dagger to his name.

I decided to chuck whatever I could at the legendary axeman bandit leader to at least reduce the slaughter. Deciding to use the best first, I chuck my large copper dagger...

"The spinning large copper dagger strikes the overlord in the head, tearing the muscle, pushing the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!"

He went on to be one of my most successful by not dying in the first fifteen minutes.

[Kilroy the Grand]

On the other hand, I can now legendary sneak, so I just sneak up to each and every one of the bandits, and shiv them repeatedly from behind until they bleed to death in a room filled with their companions.  They couldn't figure out anything was wrong because I was "hiding" as I was wrestling them in order to get a better shot with my stabity-stabs.  I got spotted a couple times, but if I just ran around a corner, I could sneak again.

It's one thing to chalk up the death screams of a companion to being just the wind, but when someone has you in a choke hold, and you don't notice something's wrong...

brings to mind a heavily armed and armored warrior walking through a room filled with bad dudes with his hand over his eyes shouting, "YOU CANT SEE ME! IM HIDING! I AM HIDING AND YOU CANNOT SEE ME!" and the bad guys just standing around looking at each other like "I guess we cant see this guy."

IGNORE ME!

[Loud Whispers]

Walk into necromancer tower. About 60 zombies on the first room.

Calmly turn around and walk out.

Zombies flock to where I was last seen.

Walk back in.

Kill necro's.

Calmly walk out.

Throw books into river.

Begin smashing zombies to death with a silver maul.

[Badger0]

I have still not forgiven him for this, and am now set on wiping out the elf race.

Is this much different from most (all?) other playthroughs.

I dunno exactly who my dumbest opponent has been, but unarmoured bandits rushing you and getting sliced in half by my axe comes to mind.

[MetalGear]

Started new peasant adventurer, decided to solo raid a bandit camp with only proficient in shield user and novice in swimming. Needless to say, expected a merciless slaughter of my poor adventurer with only a single copper sword and dagger to his name.

I decided to chuck whatever I could at the legendary axeman bandit leader to at least reduce the slaughter. Deciding to use the best first, I chuck my large copper dagger...

"The spinning large copper dagger strikes the overlord in the head, tearing the muscle, pushing the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!"

He went on to be one of my most successful by not dying in the first fifteen minutes.

Pretty much the exact same thing happened to me. Was fighting with a bandit lasher, then noticed the leader (also a lasher) approaching.  Tossed the dagger at him (had no throwing skill) and got him in the head.
I noticed that dagger is actually a very deadly throwing weapon. I have dabbling throwing, but just about every time, I manage to cripple something with it by shattering bones or cutting nerves.

[Deon]

I rushed into the basement of the local keep with a half-dozen comrades in tow.  Unfortunately, they go and open some other door than the one I was going through, and wind up alerting about 7 bandits to their presence, including an elite archer elf, and by the time I'm done, I'm down to a single living companion who I try to save by fast-travelling as soon as I can extract myself from combat.  It didn't work. 

Well, this basically means that all the bandits besides the elf bandit master came back to life, and now I had no companions.

On the other hand, I can now legendary sneak, so I just sneak up to each and every one of the bandits, and shiv them repeatedly from behind until they bleed to death in a room filled with their companions.  They couldn't figure out anything was wrong because I was "hiding" as I was wrestling them in order to get a better shot with my stabity-stabs.  I got spotted a couple times, but if I just ran around a corner, I could sneak again.

It's one thing to chalk up the death screams of a companion to being just the wind, but when someone has you in a choke hold, and you don't notice something's wrong...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHbF9ynGZV0

[Leafsnail]

I think sneaking should move away from "Fight enemies normally while they completely fail to notice you" to "A way to approach an enemy without being noticed and deliver a decisive blow before they have a chance to respond".  So you could put them in a chokehold and strangle them quickly MGS style or stab them to death before they have a chance to notice you, but after an attack the enemy would be "alerted".  Giving enemies the ability to alert each other by shouting could be good too.

For stupid opponents... anyone who tries to wrestle.  Ouch, don't grab my sock with your upper arm!

[Angel Of Death]

Some guy charged me which lead to a counterattack strike to the heart. I'm imagining he charged straight into my sword.

[Spirit of Power]

Once I got a stuck-in on a zombie while I was going through a necro tower, and the zombie pulled out my sword and dropped it. Seriously? And then, even better, a zombie counterattacked after I missed, and still did not notice me.

[Vanaheimer]

My sword was stuck in his upper body. His reaction? He grabbed one of my teeth.

He died horribly.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Hm, it seems a lot of these have to do with stealth. According to this "survey" and an enjoyable read through TV Tropes's Artificial Stupidity page, it seems that video game characters don't like stealth much. Interesting, maybe the robot apocalypse won't be so terrifying.

I'd add some new stupidity, but my most recent worlds have been buggy or human-deprived.