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[PsychicKid]

I was too lazy to start steel production up so I started channeling straight down to you-know-what. I dig one stair tile down into the tube and bam, clown car vrooms out. I put a wall up, when I notice something odd:

The clowns are swimming around in the red koolaid. How the hell did they get out when there's no way to it? I didn't know they could just spill out like that.

About 10 tiles down from where I managed to get a wall put up, I noticed one of the clowns chilling out, making his way towards my stairs. I had forgotten to plug an up/down stairs that led right into the red koolaid so they were swimming out of the stairs. (This isn't how they initially got into the koolaid though)

One of my miners on the surface is among the first victims, when I notice something alarming afterwards; The clown that killed him is plowing through my Dorfs like they were paper. They were all peasants but I expected at least SOME struggle.

Nope. Here is the main point of this entire thread: Clown is now wielding my miner's copper pick, stabbing everyone and everything in the face (with at least 7 decapitations). Had no idea this could happen. That fort went down faster than I could blink, all 75 or so of them, dead in a flash. Also it spat webs and was made of vomit.

[KodKod]

In the name of Armok, don't let them learn how to use picks!

[PsychicKid]

In the name of Armok, don't let them learn how to use picks!

>Reembark to see the aftermath
>Everything is scattered
>Mr. Vomit and one of his buddies pop up about 3 or 4 days into the embark
>Mr. Vomit is named and still wields the copper pick

This site is lost for all time.

[KodKod]

Sure, and if he works out that the tool within his grasp is rather good at shifting that nasty stoney stuff, and lets his friends in on it, then all sites are lost for all time.

[PsychicKid]

I seriously had no idea that those guys could grab and wield weapons. It makes me terrified now to have random masterwork steel weapons lying around in a proper militarized fort when I decide to head to the basement, just out of fear of a legion of pus-clowns or whatever happening upon my weapon cache and then decapitating everything.

[white_darkness]

At least they weren't decapitating things with a pig tail fiber sock...

[KodKod]

Whelp, if they're going to steal the fruits of your labour then it is only fair that you do the same. Roll an adventurer and weild their own limbs against them.

[Ieb]

Anything that has grasp-able limbs can wrestle off weapons from opponents and use 'em. Like giant desert scorpions, who are also able to shoot crossbows if they get bolts on their other pincer.

Best I've had was a pet troll who got a fungiwood spear and shield from some underground tribe when they decided to migrate into my fort, while most of 'em were hostile.

[SethCreiyd]

Armok's will is clear.  You must contain the vomitous miner and use it to spill the blood of invaders.

[Urist Da Vinci]

...
Nope. Here is the main point of this entire thread: Clown is now wielding my miner's copper pick, stabbing everyone and everything in the face (with at least 7 decapitations). Had no idea this could happen. That fort went down faster than I could blink, all 75 or so of them, dead in a flash. Also it spat webs and was made of vomit.

Note to readers: webbed creatures are almost always attacked in the head because of their helplessness and the auto-targeting.

[Mcducks22]

Yeah, I've had something similar happen to me. Just that instead of a clown, it was a minotaur. And instead of a copper pick, it was a *steel battleaxe*. That was one of the closest shaves that fortress ever got...

[Garath]

I had trapped a minotaur in a room with a dozen goblins and marksdwarfs shooting at it all. Suddenly the minotaur was getting very deadly.

minotaur stabs goblin in the upper body with the -dog bone bolt-

apearantly, a bolt had lodged in the minotaur and it pulled it free and started stabbing things with it.

[Sus]

Clown is now wielding my miner's copper pick

copper pick

pick

You fool, you have doomed us all! D:

[slothen]

Holistic Detective, anyone?

Also Bronze Colossi beating people to death with socks.