Roll to lazy pig GM, reloaded
Turn 27: Remy Maelle is a nineball OR Damnit, when does my Etrian Odyssey 3 finally arrive.Roll To Initiative!
Maka: 4 / 4
Remy: 1 / 6
Elenor: 5 / 5
Helskaya: 5 / 3
Taren: 4 / 4
Apollo: 6 / 6
Komas: 3 / 2
Poison Jelly #1: 5 / 1
Poison Jelly #2: 3 / 5
Poison Jelly #3: 1 / 1
Electro Jelly #1: 5 / 3
Electro Jelly #2: 5 / 2
Steel Jelly: 2 / 3
Armored Wolf #2: 6 / 2
Armored Wolf #4: 6 / 2
Armored Grayback: 2 / 5
Vampire Bat #1: 1 - 2(Dizzy) / 1
Panda Wizard: 2 / 6
Apollo:Fire at the Panda! Be ready to kill the Greyback if neccesary
(6) The rifleman-scientist does a quick threat assessment. The fabulosity of the Panda Wizard kind of is the greatest threat to his retinas right now, so he reaches into his pocket, and stuffs the first thing he manages to grab into his ammo mod, which then starts to emit smoke and worrying sounds. A sign everything is going well!
But the two remaining armored wolves quickly get their act together, and attack Apollo as a pack! (2) (2)
Then Apollo fires. A shrapnel of ground rocks and bear ass fragments. (1) (3) The first wolf doesn't stand a chance, and I better refrain from the graphical details. The second wolf survives and is merely blown back by the force of the impact, in the direction of the Panda! (2) The Panda is hit! Not instantly fatally but still pretty damn likely to bleed out over time.
Elenor:Taunt and prepare for the Grayback's charge. When he gets close or after being tackled, try to climb atop it and exert dominance over him. Through the manly ritual of violent bonding, if necessary. Without using the sword, though.
(5)
ROUND 1. FIGHT! Elenor taunts the wolf! (vs. 6) The wolf comes CHARGING at Elenor, foaming from the mouth and generally being worryingly similar to a speeding steel-plated furry bullet, plain knocking his target down to the ground and slobbering on his face -- but Elenor had planned for that, and reverses the situation by a well-placed, well-armored knee. What ensues is a chaotic brawl (2+1 vs. 4) in which Elenor, however, cannot gain the upper hand and has to cut his losses. The grayback, sensing an opportunity, gives chase. (3 vs 2) His attack (another all-out charge) was kind of transparent, but the knight's reflexes are dulled through the exhausting wrestling session and he's only partially able to deflect it. He sustains a few nasty scratches in the area of his left shoulder. But Elenor muscles through the pain and gains the upper hand on the wide-open grayback. (Finish him! 3 vs. 5) But when he attempts to destroy the remaining resistance, the wolf simply proves to be still much too vital to be taken out this way. He shakes off the human, making him land in the thorns, but does not chase this time, being exhausted himself and wary of Elenor's resourcefulness (such as further knees).
Helskaya:Undisturb the shaman force by eating a slice of magic, and then CHARGE the PANDA WIZARD
Claw his vulnerable spot (his liver, if I remember PANDA ANATOMY correctly).
(3) Eating a slice of magic proves to be surprisingly (no duh) difficult in bear form. Transforming back would be kind of difficult before your bloodlust is sated, as well. That magic has to wait, BLOODLUST is first. And the Panda is wide open, which is why you charge him, skirting the jellies semi-carefully. (vs. 4 - 2) The panda doesn't have any real means to defend himself anymore, what with being partially buried under a groaning armored wolf and all. Still, Bearskaya first removes the wolf from the panda, to get a proper shot at him. (6 vs 3-1) Uh. Saying that 'bits went everywhere' would be stupid, I would be repeating myself. But where once was a magically talented panda, there is now a Bearskaya with indigestion and a panda skeleton, still in a fabulous pose.
Poison Jelly #1 (1) decides that now would be the perfect time for a nap. The two electrojellies continue their assault, though - the first one (3) already is close, and now has snuck up on Maka, giving her a good shockin', but from a bit too far to be of any real danger. (vs. 6) It has... unforeseen effects. Such as putting Maka into a caffeinated-sugar-rush overdrive, giving her spontaneous magnetism and an inexplicable weakness to ground types, but other than that she seems fine. The second, meanwhile (2), is a bit closer, but not exactly in range of anyone but Komas and Elenor.
Maka:"Wheeeeeee!"
Rush and attempt to subdue panda wizard via gentle bludgeonings. If he's already been butchered just club the metal slime.
(4) There is no need to rush for the metal slime. It already is coming at Maka by itself... probably 'cause it's magnetized. Thankfully this didn't already happen with all sorts of weaponry... Anyway, she clubs the metal slime. (vs. 1) Surprisingly enough, it sustains significant damage. Maka tries it once more to see whether there is a pattern. (6 vs. 2) There is. The slime is dead. Very anticlimatic.
Taren:Heal @ Maka! Perhaps using something new I heard from the Priest? Something that would heal her and not make her neck wound worse.
Switch from Ice to FIRE!
(4) "Well, that looks serious, but... what I head from the priest. Uh... yeah, could work. It's a good time to test it.
'Lord of the sunrise's golden glow. Lord of the evening's soothing breeze. Lord of the shining ray of hope. I have lived by thine commandmends and carried on thine spark. Now, in this dark hour assist me in the name of hope! The golden wind,
Vento Aureo!'
A golden glow does surround Maka, and a fair area around her, then concentrate on the punctures in her neck and finally subside, to reveal a neck as good as new. However, Taren feels exhausted, as if lacking a bit of his inner drive.
Still, he flips the two switches on the hilt that prove to be the firestarter. Warms him right up.
Komas
>Stand in middle of enemies.
>Brain any of them who look at mah eye!
(2) None of the enemies looks at Komas' eye. They don't even attack him, so he stands around slightly lost, unsure how to proceed without rage fueling his oar.
The second poison jelly launches his attack! (5) It is unexpected and accurate, striking out at Maka. (6) Who, with clockwork accuracy, golden afterglow and spring-trigger reflexes, kicks the jelly into the air and clubs it into the unspecified distance, never to return. (3) However, she then is forced to settle down, coughing from the poison effect.
The armored grayback switches his target, having asserted -his- dominance over Elenor. For whatever reason, he chooses Bearskaya. (5) However, he -does- manage to sneak up to the lumbering bear, (3-1) who is kind of busy with his indigestion at that point, and is caught with his metaphorical pants down. The grayback tears a chunk out of Bearskaya's left rear leg, which makes him howl in pain! (2 vs. 5) But if there's one thing about hurt bears is that the pain makes them angry, and the anger makes them forget anything but carnage. The grayback gets mauled severely (accurate descriptions would venture into the realm of gorn), and thus turns tail, yelping and heavily hurt. He isn't chased, because Bearskaya now remembers that he is hurt.
Remy:Blizzard! Make sure it's weak enough to not harm my allies, but still strong enough to freeze the jellies.
(6) Sorry, I didn't hear you. What was that with "weak enough not to harm my allies"?
Clearly, the spell Remy was looking for is called Perfect Freeze. Roll to avoid getting popsicled!
Maka: 6 -- she doesn't even slow down, even with icicles forming on her body.
Remy: 1 -- MAYBE you should invest in safeguards against your own spells. Well, you do have safeguards, as any mage worth his salt has, otherwise you'd be dead now, but better safeguards would be a good idea. Should you survive. You're almost certain to lose a few toes or fingers, and you've become icicle central as well. Breathing is kind of hard.
Elenor: 3 -- seriously chilled, isn't worse than that because of the Magic Sapping Amulet. Requires campfire or similar, but should survive even without.
Helskaya: 5 -- all that fur isn't there just for show, y'know. The cold even slows down his bleeding.
Taren: 1 -- If he isn't thawed quickly, he's toast. Miraculously, even though he is more or less frozen from the waist down, he doesn't seem to suffer damage from the cold, at least just yet. Perhaps there's someone smiling down on him. (Also, having a heated sword helps.)
Apollo: 2 -- Despite his best attempts to cover up, he still is very, very chilled, and needs to regain temparature somehow or he might fall into a never-ending sleep.
Komas: 3 -- You've had worse. But not much worse.
Poison Jelly #1: 2 -- Frozen solid in his sleep, down for the count.
Poison Jelly #3: 1 -- Frozen solid.
Electro Jelly #1: 3 -- Frozen solid, or at least close enough.
Electro Jelly #2: 2 -- Frozen solid.
Armored Wolf #4: 4 -- He could probably have survived under better circumstances, but now the metal of his armor is giving him cold burns, and he's already heavily hurt, so he's probably disabled, and dead soon.
Armored Grayback: 3 -- His legs are frozen to the ground, he's immobilized.
Vampire Bat #1: -- One wing's stuck to the pillar it crashed into
The vampire bat attempts to free itself, but (1) just gets stuck even more, and dies from hypothermia.
Enemies.
Poison Jelly #1: Frozen.
Poison Jelly #2: In some tree somewhere we don't care about.
Poison Jelly #3: Frozen.
Electro Jelly #1: Frozen.
Electro Jelly #2: Frozen.
Steel Jelly: Clubbed to death.
Armored Wolf #2: Shotgunned to death.
Armored Wolf #4: In its dying breaths.
Armored Grayback: Frozen in place, badly wounded.
Vampire Bat #1: Death by hypothermia.
Panda Wizard: Carcass.
Er. Um. Have fun with that. The scenery hasn't changed much, except for being frozen over in a 50 meter radius, centered on Remy.
Character sheets.
Helskaya Arkut (lawastooshort)
Status: IS A BEAR. HAS PANDA MEAT STUCK IN BETWEEN BEAR FANGS, THAT'S KIND OF DRIVING BEAR NUTS.
Injuries: Missing a sizeable chunk of his left rear leg. Indigestion.
Equipment: Pair of knives (one large, one small),
northern white bear jawbone on necklace, northern white bearskin.
Inventory: Wet stone, firestone, pot, spoon, three leather pouches varying in size, pestle and mortar, dried meat rations for several plus more days, filled waterskin, flour, Lesser Herbal Medicine, Lesser Blade Poison, Rusty Axe, random precious metal baubles, two lumps of crystallized magic, ten magic slices, lesser diluted mana potion x2, potion of okay healing x2, stoneskin potion, 60 cp, magic bong.
Skills: Herbal Medicine; Shamanic Magic; Knowledge (Legends of the North)
Spells:
Shining Shamanic Healing Finger!, Transform: Raging North Bear, Summon Water Elemental
Elenor Warsen (Caellath)
Status: Pride is hurt. Again.
Injuries: Several semi-deep cuts on left shoulder. Seriously chilled. Might die if not warmed up somehow, although he's likely to survive either way.
Equipment:
Masterwork Armor, Longsword, Crossbow,
Dragon Crest Shield, small well-crafted crossbow,
Magic Sapping Amulet.
Inventory: Medical kit, small supplies bag, 0 cp, Potion of Lesser Healing, Painkiller Potion, Gibberish Paper, Map Shred, Rations Listing, some longbolt ammo.
Skills: Result-oriented swordsmanship, Dodger's Agility, Marksmanship, Medical care, Taunting, Dabbling Investigator [1].
Spells: None. He's notoriously unmagical.
Apollo Anderson (Spinal_Taper)
Status: So cold.
Injuries: Rock firmly embedded in face, greatly chilled. Will probably die if not warmed up somehow.
Equipment: Reinforced lab coat, cheap leather armor,
Dagger,
Rudimentary Rifle, Officer's Scimitar
Inventory: Bullets[inf], Enchanted Bullets[11], Gunpowder, various pouches and bags, Experimental Painkiller (?) Potion, 119 cp, Bear teets, One Bear Ass, Ammo Mod.
Skills: Alchemy: Chemistry, Alchemy: Potion brewing, Alchemic Magic: Rudimentary Enchantments (quantum amount +2), Metal Working (quantum amount +1).
Spells: Enchantment: Better wearability!, Piercing [?] Bullet Enchantments
Taren Creyn (Tiruin)
Status: Blessed... else he'd be dead. Lost a bit of drive.
Injuries: Painless, actually, but frozen from the waist down and is certainly going to die if that isn't rectified soon.
Equipment:
Broadsword, Crossbow, Longbolt ammunition (quantum amount -4), white cloak, grey tunic, belt, solid holey leather boots,
buckler.
Inventory: Whet stone, one filled waterskin, Cloth, lots of rations, ratman cloth, 118 cp, Element Hilt.
Skills: White Magic: Healing, Anatomy, Swordsmanship, Marksmanship
Spells:
Menscur, Fogili, Nonsens, Mendia,
Leonic Cleanse,
Vi Vanita,
Vento Aureo.
Komas Hopatke (Yoink)
Status: More gruff than usual.
Injuries: Thorn punctures, some stuck in. Very cold, but not life-threateningly so.
Equipment:
One large, battered wooden oar named Heinkel, Worn and poorly-made sealskins, An eyepatch, iron boning knife.
Inventory: Fishing pole, bait, compass, immortal tasty lobster, 100 cp, Mystery Herb x6.
Skills:
Rowing,
Cooking,
Fishing,
Navigation.
Spells: Nnnope.
Remy Maelle (Remaelle)
Status: He should be seriously embarassed, right now.
Injuries: Icicle central - way heavier than normal, will die if not warmed up pronto. Is going to lose most of his toes either way...
Equipment: A spirit talisman, knife, leather armour, traveling clothes, a backpack, Vintage pair of Chain Revolvers, buckler, 0 cp.
Inventory: Bedroll, rope, tinderbox, enough food to last a few days,
Debt notice,
officer's helmet, Contract, Gunchucks Guide Book w/ Leaflet, Remote Control Tape.
Skills: Shamanistic Magic: Elementalism, Agility, Quick Reflexes, Hand-to-Hand Combat, Gunchucks Usage.
Spells:
MEGA BRAND,
Perfect Freeze Maka R'lyeh-Voile (IronyOwl)
Status: In Overdrive (slowing down), golden afterglow, somewhat magnetic.
Injuries: None (that she notices), but covered in icicles.
Equipment:
Magical golden scepter, Very Frilly Dress, Backpack, Belt w/ pouches, Fun Gun.
Inventory:
Surgeon's Kit, 105 cp, Book: Gene Engineering, Fleshgrafting and You, Snail Shell.
Skills: Creating Servants, Alchemic Magic: Augmenting Living Stuff, Dodging, Black Magic: Curses.
Spells:
Psycho Shackles. 
Author
Topic: Roll to Explore the Dungeon: Ch.2 T.38: Do you even praise the King? (Read 121486 times)