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Author Topic: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?  (Read 9975 times)

Mullet Master

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How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« on: March 23, 2012, 11:03:49 pm »

Here's how mine would be described.

"The scene I've come across can only be described as horrific. There's supposedly a hundred and seventy five dwarves in here, all laying on top of each each other, trying to consume their meals. Yeah, there's the occasional open space, but it's almost like ... they want to lay on top of each other. I would say they are trying to engage in conversation, but the noise is deafening. There's not that many tables, but every table is covered by cats, dogs, and the occasional pile of vomit.

Periodically, a horse or a yak will keel over dead... and then nobody bothers to clean it up. Instead, the dwarves climb over their peers only to lay on the corpse, continuing their meals nonchalantly. Eventually the corpse rots, bringing about piles of flies and vermin. That brings me to the bones.... why exactly are there so many skulls in here? And how come deep puddles of blood are standing throughout the room....

In the corner, there's a wood burning furnace, belching out horrid black fumes and coating the entire room in creosote. This can't be good for you.

Anyway, I think I'm going to be sick."

« Last Edit: March 23, 2012, 11:06:09 pm by Mullet Master »
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werechicken

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2012, 11:20:44 pm »

Spacious, glamorous, decadent, these are all word you wouldn't use to describe my dining room.

It's the basic lots of chairs and tables as efficiently combined as possible model.
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Urist McDepravity

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2012, 11:26:53 pm »

"Oh! Just look at that artifact microcline table! Omg! Engraving of cheese over there is true masterpiece! Vomit? Blood? Rotten food? Nah, didn't notice."
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nenjin

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2012, 11:30:06 pm »

A place for heroes, a long line of dining tables where everyone sits side by side as equals.
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Kavalion

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2012, 01:20:42 am »

Dozens of tables, dozens of thrones, hundreds of unused rocks, statues piled about randomly, pools of water, gem windows looking out on hallways and fields of cave wheat, booze barrels stored in the corners, and one dwarf who has been trying to smooth the floors for the past year or so.  Oh, and an artifact animal trap made of yak bone.
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kaijyuu

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2012, 01:54:08 am »

Looks like a school cafeteria.

And the people using it have even worse hygiene.
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King DZA

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2012, 03:00:23 am »

"Pimpin'."

Corai

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2012, 05:20:10 am »

"Excuse me, im gonna go surrender myself to a goblin now....."
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Loud Whispers

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2012, 07:59:24 am »

Hey, it's actually pretty nice.

SHIT WHY ARE THERE RAINING DOGS

Dutchling

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2012, 08:00:18 am »

'Tables? Check! Chairs? Check! Coffins? Check!'
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Kastrol Aslaasri

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2012, 09:08:53 am »

"Feeder", or "socks minefield"
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KodKod

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2012, 09:36:06 am »

A wretched hive of scum and villainy.
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Tolisk

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #12 on: March 24, 2012, 10:01:45 am »

A room filled with blood, with a few tables and chairs laying around, and dwarves playing dodgeball with elf skulls.
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FrisianDude

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2012, 12:27:38 pm »

Legendary. Too bad all the munchkins are faffing about there.
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Malarauko

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Re: How would someone describe your fortress dining room?
« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2012, 02:04:33 pm »

A huge hallway with long rows of stone tables leading to a raised dias where the king and nobles eat. The floors in between the tables are carved with the history of the fort as are the three stories of walls. In places on the walls windows break up the engravings and offer a viewpoint from various others areas. One of the long walls of the hall is a series of double doors leading to the storerooms and kitchens while both short ends are studded with doors leading into the corridors. The whole thing resembles a viking longhouse but carved out of stone in my mind. If I could place cooking pits and roaring fires I would.
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