Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Silverlock]

I haven't decided yet whether this is funny or grotesque -- some of both, I think -- but in my current nascent fortress I have a dog that killed a kobold but has since been killed by the kobold's reanimated right upper arm.  The battle of the body parts is still underway with several dwarves, dogs, boars, and "dog head skins" still participating, though, so stay tuned for the aftermath.

This just in -- the right upper arm has received its own name: Okunthad.  I have no idea what it means, but it looks cool to see "Okunthad, Lodofodloker's right upper arm" on the "Others" unit list.

The battle proceeds apace.

- - - - -

Later in the ongoing fighting, the battle has been joined by grizzly bear hair, ewe wool, and a gray langur head.  Lodofodloker's right hand -- now reduced to a single bone -- is still periodically reviving and rejoining the fray. My butchers and tanner are working full-tilt, new immigrants have been drafted into the military, and I am enjoying the irony of shooting bone bolts at the encroaching undead.

In a more serious note, I actually spotted two necromancers -- the Dwarf Ranger necromancer Astesh Geshudinen and the human necromancer Bese Omauti -- sneaking around, but my military squads were unable to perforate them.  The human in particular will suffer a long, tortuous death if he shows back up.

[UltraValican]

Here's a story about my first fortress in the new version.
I embarked in a haunted, frozen hellscape. Naturally my first order of business was to get sealed up, I set up a wooden palisade then forced the goats and such outside(didn't want starved goat zombies). Afterwards I put a roof over the palisade. Now, this took place in the span of about fifteen minutes, and just as I finished  up the "roof" of the palisade, they appeared. They , were giant zombified thrips( a type of insect). Just as they showed up, my dwarves decided to have a booze break. This would have been the end of it, but my abandoned farm animals put up a good chase. But just as the wall was being built, a thrip decides to fly past, and my dwarves fled back into the "fortress". I conscripted everyone and all hell broke loose. The zombfied thrips got torn apart by war dogs, but by the time it was dead 6 more showed up. My dwarves killed two before sustaining casualties, but then the thrips chitin began to rise. Soon my fort was one dwarf vs " a lot of animated skin and bones". But he kept on fighting without tire. I knew it was hopeless so I changed his profession to "survivor" and abandoned.

Here's a story about a yack in 31.25, that saved my low embark point fortress from a blood sucking nightwing.  I decided to embark in a haunted desert, everything was going well until a nightwing showed its ugly mug. I sent my spearman after it, and the spearmen promptly got his legs broken and his neck snapped in order to be used as a sippy straw for the nightwing. After, finishing up its dwarven shake it decided to accost a yak., but  it picked the wrong yak. The nightwing quickly pummeled the yak, but the beast of burden had a strong back and kept moving. The nightwing would attack the yak for "3 turns" then the yak would kick, and the knighwing would dodge or get bruised. The nightwing and yak danced across the desert dunes towards the edge of the map, and with one last kick, the nightwing dodged off the map, never to return.

[Silverlock]

Had another odd incident today with another fortress: a Dwarven Child bit the front tooth of a blind cave ogre . . . from behind.  That is was one quick kid. 

[Noblaum]

I have played this game for a very long time but always lost interest in my current fort and built a new one. This was a bit of an experiment, first to see if I could keep the fort alive, then to see how creatively it could die.

As many players know, every fort will inevitably collapse into chaotic mayhem and/or idiot miners digging into rivers and magma pools. I tried to see what would happen if I separated each dwarf to avoid tantrum spirals but take away any privileges to reduce requirement of supplies. I had multiple floors, the top floor for my delivery dwarf that would give the lower levels food and alcohol. I gave the delivery dwarf plenty of whatever it wanted and it was very happy. I put the other workers into slight shock by taking away beds, alcohol, etc. and putting out several ways for them to die to see when they would commit suicide... accidentally or otherwise. After one year I would "retire" the current workers (I had given them wives and taken their children for the next generation of workers) and the cycle began anew. I put the old delivery dwarf to work and selected a new one that was easily satisfied. None of the dwarves commit suicide although one went insane. Eventually the delivery dwarf accidentally stepped in a trap set up against animals. The dwarven population below multiplied and each level had increasing insanity. Eventually they snapped when one of the cats walked into a stonefall trap, killing one of the wives in the process. They killed each other and the last one alive managed to get out of his level. He killed the next caravan and walked into a group of undead gorillas.

[Wyrmnax]

Had my dwarves mining the underground, preparing a great expansion for our dormitories.

They breached a lake, but it was no problem. The amount of water on it was little, and it would spread through the mining tunnel with no problems. And i was planning to make floors on the upper level to cover it anyway.

Winter came, making instant dwarven popsickles of the whole mining expedition.

[RealFear]

One time, in adventure mode, i decided to just put all my skills into one weapon, and go on a rampage, so i went into a fortress and started killing all the royalty.
Now, somehow, I had managed to get some companions that didn't rebel and kill me if I hurt/killed someone from a fort, so they were guarding the door, and killing all the extra troops that tried to burst through the door. So, i wasn't fighting anybody too strong.
But even though they were not at all experienced fighters and at most had a dagger that was maybe iron if they were lucky, they eventually wore me down, and I was feeling the pain. I passed out and a child found me.
THIS KID HAD STABBED ME MORE THEN 20 TIMES BEFORE HE/SHE EVENTUALLY KILLED ME
So, as a result of this, I had the knowledge that I had been brutally murdered by a child with a knife.

[Gamerboy4life]

Had my dwarves mining the underground, preparing a great expansion for our dormitories.

They breached a lake, but it was no problem. The amount of water on it was little, and it would spread through the mining tunnel with no problems. And i was planning to make floors on the upper level to cover it anyway.

Winter came, making instant dwarven popsickles of the whole mining expedition.

Haha Oh LOL.

[Steamswitch]

Recovered from the diary of Istron Daringflames, the leader of Copperpinched about five hundred years ago.

"12 Malachite, 556: I sealed another vampire in that chamber. 15 of them. Will they ever stop coming? Well, at least it's cozy in there. I installed a window so I can see what they're doing."

"13 Malachite: Huh. So it turns out the vampires are now master carvers. And the whole place is covered in fantastic carvings of happy dwarves and vampires and pictures of kittens. Well, at least they're happy. Though, three of them spend lots of time in discussion about something. Wonder what- (the section is too smeared to be read)"

"15 Malachite: Now all of them talk. No more carvings. I sent one of our dwarves in there through an airlock. Turns out they're just as vicious. We need a bigger militia. There's also, a slight crack in the glass and they can reach their arms through..."

"? Malachite, 556: they escaped running for my life help help AAAGH BLOOD BLOOD ALL OVER HELPMEPLEASIMDYINGAAAGAGHG (blood smears for several pages)"

"18 Malachite, 1056: It's been around five hundred years since I became this. Now I truly now what immortality is like. Today I poisoned an an entire fortress with my blood. Now they can join me in eternity! Ah, what a feeling it is to be forever!"

"? Malachite, 556: they got me ow ow bridge leader blood blood blood nead more blood help me under a bridge militia leader nearby help executed trapped cavern sealed"

I tracked the guy down in Legends mode. He'd become a vampire and then gotten sealed inside a chamber inside the fortress of Steelsliming and had gotten his lungs pierced by a spear. Then he moped around for about a hundred years.

[Headhanger]

I had a perfectly functional fortress, but abandoned it because it was turning my stomach.

Everything was fine until I built a statue garden above-ground near the depot. Droves of cave-adapted dwarves flocked to admire the new meeting area, resulting in several puddles of vomit. Nice.

I was willing to wait until the rain washed it away, but then the local cats began to congregate in the statue garden as well. Then they started adopting dwarves and tracking vomit everywhere on their paws. Then they started hunting the vermin in my food stockpiles.

Vomit. In the food stockpiles.

This was before I had built enough barrels for everything, so the carp stews and strawberry roasts ended up being covered with vomit and then put into barrels when my carpenters finally got around to constructing them.

The mental image was too nauseating. I couldn't even bring myself to trade the contaminated food to the human merchants when they arrived.

Of course, worse things have happened since. But the memory of plump helmet biscuits smeared with vomit still makes me shudder, and I haven't been able to look at spreadable cheese the same way since.

[Slayerhero90]

Dwarf Fortress is a funny story.

[groove]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

God damn holy fucking adamantine. This motherfucking shit looked so fucking good on that sexy ass wiki that I just had to find it. So my fucking miners started digging all the shit-ass way down to the cavern levels and then straight through that cocksucking shit too. Then I find some red ass looking shit that turned out to be magma. But god damn there was that fucking blue looking sexy adamantine there. Woo-fucking-hoo. My shit ass miners started to dig that shit up and then some fucking shit pops up on my screen saying some fuckheaded shit about hell being opened. Great. Really fucking great. Some fucking demons made of steam or some shit came pouring out of that bitch and just plowed through every fart shit trap that I could build. Then they got their shitty little hell hands on my military. That fight lasted about two shit ass minutes and then those cunts got into my titty shit ass panic room full of little Bobby McUrist and all the other shit heads. That fight lasted one shit fuck minute. Shit was wack, yo.

[Slayerhero90]

We had embarked upon a volcanic mountain. The the blood of our demonic ancestors was far too high up the obsidian spire. The miner and smith did not wish to trek up the tower. Then the idiocy-born atrocity occured. Our Mineking and Anvilking were almost instantly possessed. They decided to strike into the firecone, to shed the burning blood upon the forest. They, and one Slaughterking, burned to death, along with 4 or so cats. By this time, hellfire spread to grassland, igniting the growth. The smoke filled us, and we could scarcely breathe. The remaining four, we Timberqueen, Harvestking, Surgeking, and Highest King, fled from these deadly hills, the fire having passed. It had not become summer yet.

My modded race, the demonbloods, describe things strange-ishly.

[Saithis]

Well, it all started long ago on my first expedition.  Back then I was just a wee lass, with barely a trace of ale in my beard.  We dug our way into the great ravine's walls and established a Fortress worthy of our ancestors.

You see, we began to set up a system of aqueducts and moats, both to feed the fortress with freshwater throughout the colder seasons and to protect against walking threats.  We thought it would be simple.  We thought it would be easy.  We set up a large resevoir, dug all of the piping and trenches through the Fortress that would be necessary.  It was only when we went to actually dig the connecting pipe that everything went horribly, horribly wrong.  Urist McDerp dug a channel straight from one end to the other, but unwittingly dug straight through an intervening corridor.

The Fortress flooded.  Panic ensued, and dwarves scrambled to save whatever could be saved, evacuate to the higher levels, and block off the precious, rare soil that our patch of land had, reserving it for farming use.  The emergency blockades were a success, but our homes now lay under water.  Disaster accompanied disaster, and the goblins arrived.  They penned us in.  We fought hard, and at the head was our Hunter and Captain of the Guard, a skilled crossbowdwarf.  Although we lost many lives and our food stocks were destroyed, the Captain drove off the goblins and stood victorious amongst their bodies.

We needed food.  The Captain knew there was only one thing he could do, and so he ventured into the small wood at the base of the mountain to hunt.  When the grey behemoths known as elephants tumbled out of the treeline at him, and he realized his arrows were gone, he did the only thing a brave dwarf could do: drop his crossbow and charge.

When the dwarves found him, he lay bloody and crippled amongst the bodies of four elephants, all slain with his bare hands.  His body and the bodies of the elephants were retrieved, but no matter how he was tended, he would not recover.  A few weeks later he died.  The Fort was saved from famine, but had lost a great hero in the process.  We only made it a few more seasons before the fort was abandoned, but the legend of Urist McMarksdwarf lasts forever in our hearts...

[Spooky]

I tried my hand at fortressing for the first time in about a year recently. I greatly overexaggerated my skills when creating the world, and set savagery to high.

So, pick my spot out, and start digging out a cave for my dwarves to set up in. Meanwhile, I had seen some giant gray langurs in the distance, but thought nothing of it, not knowing what a langur is or what it was capable of. (note: this is a langur http://www.virtualimg.net/photos/registered_photos/1038-langur.jpg)

So, I'm minding my own business, mining and such, when I notice that a child had been struck down. I quickly move to where this tragedy had occured, and my screen arrived at my cave entrance in time for me to gape in a horrified manner at langurs literally shaking my mason to death, who they proceeded to throw down onto the slain child.

I quickly activated a small militia, but it was too late, a langur had found the only other child, ripped his arms off, then tackled him to death. By this time, more capable dwarves drove the langurs off, but I still chuckle occasionally how some over sized monkies were able to terrorize my fort and send it into a near-tantrum spiral.

[MasterMorality]

The first time I played adventure mode after the curses, cities and temples had been added in, I traveled to the nearest city to the starting town. I arrived in the middle of some sort of civil war - every step was greeted with random combat logs from various different fights. People were running all over the place and attacking each other at random. They seemed mostly oblivious to me. I climbed to the top of a temple, got shot at by a hunter, hid away from the edges, and was then mobbed by acolytes that charged out of the hole in the ground they'd carved out and built a roof over. I got into a fight, dodged off the side, a stray arrow struck the guy attacking me, and I split my skull on the ground below. 

More recently, my entire fifty Dwarf fortress was annihilated when six giant lovebirds were caught by a cloud of demonic soot and turned into thralls. The only thrall that died, died because it was accidentally crushed under a drawbridge.