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Author Topic: So Many Children  (Read 1051 times)

Urist_McUristson

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So Many Children
« on: March 19, 2012, 04:52:26 pm »
I have recently had a bad migrant infestation. I wouldn't be concerned normally, but these waves have been mostly children. Out of 50 dwarfs 21 are children or babies. So half the food and drink I make is going into nothing. Is there any way to make these kids useful, or, if possible, kill them off without the relatives tantruming?
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Girlinhat

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Re: So Many Children
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2012, 04:57:21 pm »
"Dwarven Child Care" is always an option.  It's as if Toady intentionally bumped the child limit and... oh god, so much depravity options~  Child training, child watchdogs, child food for vampires, child farm labor, child pits, child-falls (that is, a waterfall of children instead of water), child tallow roasts.  The possibilities are endless!  And none of them are morally correct!
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terkiey

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Re: So Many Children
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2012, 04:58:45 pm »
Mmmmmm, child tallow roast..
child biscuits....
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Uronym

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Re: So Many Children
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2012, 05:09:50 pm »
Kill all of the family of the children along with the children. As long as nobody else has socialized with the children, nobody will care mind too much.

Girlinhat covered your other staple options, but among others, you could use the children to soak up goblin crossbow bolts/arrows during a siege, or to lure out ambushes. Make great scapegoats for the caverns, too, just drop a few down (not TOO hard, now), and they'll explore for you, as well as lure out any terrible monsters. You could also just lock them outside of your fortress to die of thirst or something.
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What I think we're saying is we need dwarves to riot and break things more often.

Michaelsoftman

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Re: So Many Children
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2012, 05:17:16 pm »
Put the children in a burrow near the edge of the map.

They'll get kidnapped, no one will get bad thoughts about this, or miss them.
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KainInt

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Re: So Many Children
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2012, 05:20:29 pm »
If you pit enough children into your dining room at once, you'll get the 'doesn't really care' trait before they get the chance to tantrum.

Just a fun fact.
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Girlinhat

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Re: So Many Children
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2012, 05:26:14 pm »
Child Pit Coefficient: The number of children needed to drop to their deaths in the dining hall to trigger mental scarring before a tantrum has a chance to even occur.
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Naryar

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Re: So Many Children
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2012, 06:38:18 pm »
Butchering your own civilization ? Is that even possible ?

Also, dwarven child care and child labor are my two choices.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: So Many Children
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2012, 06:48:42 pm »
Quote from: Naryar on March 19, 2012, 06:38:18 pm
Butchering your own civilization ? Is that even possible ?

The possibilities for child butchering is only limited to your imagination!
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