Wait, so some anime based on a D&D character got funded? Let's play the "how many sentences can I read until I find one I don't have a good criticism for" game, because I think I can do it for the entire thing.
The long journey of a Hero becoming a villain and the Villain's journey to becoming one of the greatest Hero's.
I won't count the terrible grammar as a good criticism even though I want to. This is a generic, meaningless, and uninformative tagline. It tells me a little about the plot, but nothing unique and definitely nothing memorable. Overall it fails completely at everything a tagline wants to do.
This is an Epic Tale to last through the ages. If Indiana Jones had a Hybrid baby with Lord Of The Rings, this would be IT!!!
I won't count the overenthusiastic exclamation points and dumb capitalization (capitalizing "hybrid"? really?) as a good criticism but I want to. If your first meaningful bit description doesn't actually say anything about
your work, you're probably doing it wrong. Unless maybe this is a fanfiction, but I really think even they can try harder than that.
/ignoring next sentence since it's basically "here's a list"
The series is an Anime that was started from a D&D campaign 11 years ago and has thus changed into a great epic tale of serious manner while still maintaining very high levels of comedy.
The D&D campaign thing roots this firmly in my mind as a "me and my friends thought this up and it's super cool" sort of thing, which is a bad start. "Serious yet funny" sounds like he's desperately trying to appeal to everyone.
This Kickstarter is to produce the funding needed to pay the animator the costs of doing the actual labor of hand drawn animation for a 2 minute Trailer.
"This Kickstarter is not actually intended to produce any meaningful work." It's basically
this.
We have Actors, Musicians, Writers, and Artists excited and currently working, however our key animation artist can't pay his bills by giving his Landlord pretty pictures.
So... this isn't actually a kickstarter that intends to produce anything, it's a "help me live" kickstarter. Also unnecessary capitalization. And really, for having this many art people on board
all you have to show beyond the writing is three portraits and a world map and twenty seconds of music. That is a problem. You can get full-body concept sketches done for probably $10 each at a far better quality than the pictures on the kickstarter. If you're really passionate about this, show me the full cast of characters or something.
The MAIN goal of our Trailer and SERIES is to entertain while spreading a message that Anyone regardless of size, gender, and race can become REMARKABLE characters and LEGENDARY HEROES.
Unnecessary capitalization. And... I guess that's a pretty good moral? You win, kickstarter dude. I don't really have anything to say about this sentence beyond that. But just because I don't want to stop...
HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE REST OF THE THING
It is to be animated in a full fluid animation and not choppy like flash.
I'd sure as hell hope so.
This is the beginning of 3 seasons...
The Artwork and Scripts (For the full 3 Seasons) are nearly finished, but we need some extra funds to add the final element to make this trailer and ultimately the SERIES as beautiful and fluid as it can be.
If I ran a Fantasy Writing 101 class, the first lesson would be "stop getting ahead of yourself", i.e. don't write three seasons of material before you've even done anything with your first season. There's a decent chance this'll be crap and nobody will like it and you'll have wasted triple the amount of time.
Look at
Eragon. Look at
Harry Potter. Look at every single popular series ever. You release your first book when your first book is done. J.K. Rowling didn't write the seventh book in the series until the first six had proven that they were goddamn successful because she's not an idiot. If the first book had bombed then she'd have spent the next eight years of her life writing a different series. Nothing in writing is definite.
This guy shows a ton of completely undeserved confidence in his stuff. Nothing he has done has proven it's worthy of publishing. This can only end in disaster.
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Topic: When Kickstarter goes wrong? (Read 680548 times)