We now return to your regularly scheduled failure.
Turn 10 - Nature Hates You(ATT) (DEF) With a shout of rage, Denor propels himself off the floor at the farmer! His flailing, bleeding body flies through the air and, though the farmer makes absolutely no attempt to move out of the way, simply slams into the wall nearby. The farmer retaliates with another swing of his pitchfork,
(ATT) (DEF) stabbing Denor through the hand!
(...) Bryan, meanwhile, hears the roar of the bear that has just entered the kitchen and ducks out through the front door, rolling a large rock in front of it from the outside. He heads out to the small garden outside, and sure enough there are some carrots and cabbages growing!
(...) At the other side of the property, Raul runs off into the forest like a madman in search of meat! He clumsily stumbles through the underbrush, tripping over roots and rolling through the mud. After exhausting himself, he sits in a small niche between a thicket and some trees to rest. At that moment the denizens of the forest, whose friend was carried off by a wild Dongrel in service of the invading humans, attack to avenge their fallen comrade!
(ATT) (DEF) Several forest-dwelling rodents leap from the trees and land on Raul, crawling over him and biting at his body! He flails and slaps at them uselessly!
(...) Derm tears at his robe, but it doesn't seem to want to budge. An especially large tug, while failing to even rip the robe a little bit, throws him off balance and he falls face-first into the dirt. Derm looks around and shakes his head, and spies his severed finger on the ground in front of him! He picks up the finger and holds it over his head like a frilly tunic-wearing fairy boy who has just acquired a new possession. Just then, however, a hawk swoops out of the sky and snatches the finger away! It flies off, landing in a nearby tree.
(...) Caddio runs around in the woods for a while, tearing moss and leaves off of various surfaces. He fails to produce any clothing from this.
(VOICE ACTING ROLL) Suddenly, the squirrel seems to have something to say in a ridiculous Rastafarian accent!
"Good lord mon, cover yourself! You are going to scare the children!"
Caddio stares for a moment. "What children? Also you can talk what."
"Looks like you have communion with animals, mon. That, or you are just crazy."
"No, I think I like that first one. How do you expect me to get clothed out in the forest anyway?!"
"There is a nice farmhouse over there, my friend. I am sure they have clothes in there."
"I dunno, that sounds like it would lead to some kind of comedic set piece that would result in a lot of problems for me."
"Suit yourself, nature boy."
(...) The bear lumbers through the kitchen, taking no notice of the people standing in the next room while it looks for food.Dinner deadline in: 6h23mStatus
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Bryan
Adventurer: Davkul Stalkingwolf [HP:20/20] [MP:12/20]Currently: Garden; searching for salad ingredients.
Inventory: Peasant Robe |
Slip of Paper[HP:8/10] Injuries
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek Letum
Adventurer: Ravaatra Hellbinder [HP:20/20] [MP:14/20]Currently: Dirt Path; shaking his fist at all birds.
Inventory: Peasant Robe |
Vial of Blood[HP:7/10] Injuries
Player: Taricus
Name: Raul
Adventurer: Vladimir Silverblade [HP:20/20] [MP:12/20]Currently: Forest; fighting small forest rodents!
Inventory: Peasant Robe
[HP:5/10] Injuries
Player: IronyOwl
Name: Caddio Nine
Adventurer: Odysseus Hawklight [HP:20/20] [MP:14/20]Currently: Forest; possibly talking to himself.
Inventory: N/A
[HP:8/10] Injuries
Player: Scelly9
Name: Denor
Adventurer: Coratra Gladomain [HP:20/20] [MP:12/20]Currently: Farmhouse; getting his ass kicked by a farmer.
Inventory: Peasant Robe
[HP:4/10] Injuries
Description: A large reptilian creature with sharp claws, native to humid swamp environments. This one was formerly owned by the barkeep of the tavern in the town of Zabrek, who may or may not have been joking about using its urine as an additive in his on-tap grog. It was tamed by Coratra Gladomain after escaping and causing havoc in Zabrek, and as a result has become permanently docile and friendly, unable to bring itself to attack a living being.
Inventory: N/A
[HP:10/10] Injuries
Description: A small forest rodent that is loyal to Caddio. He wears a badass little eyepatch and has an inexplicable Rastafarian accent.
Inventory: Eyepatch[HP:3/5] Injuries
Hero Caddies Book I: The Bane of Gortharius Chapter I: The Chalice of Hope
Author
Topic: Hero Caddies RtD! [Book I, Chapter I] (Read 61348 times)