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[IronyOwl]

WHEW. The necromancers want my head, but Odysseus doesn't! Yet! As far as I know!



"Hey, know what would be terrifying?" Caddio spoke up, an idle thought popping into his head. "A necromantically enhanced dongrel.

Ooh! Or a harpy bard. Harpies can sing, right? I heard they can sing. Er, mainly from drunk people.

What do you think, Bryan? What would- ooh! An octopus that secreted acid!"



((Formatting's easy enough for me, yeah.))

[Dermonster]

"So how does one deal with being a Genre Savvy? Can I get anything out of it or am I doomed to facepalm while everyone follows the old chancellor with the thin mustachio (What the hell autocorrect)?"

[Gatleos]

A heavy rain begins to descend on the countryside.

Davkul shrugs. "Not much directly. Nobody can hear you when you break the fourth wall directly, so you can only use your foreknowledge to steer the party from danger indirectly. It's still a valuable skill."
"Hmm. Interesting." Derek looks out along the trail behind the cart, and sees something far away... but getting closer.

Vladimir scowls. "Hmm. This rain is a little more heavy than we thought. We might have to stop soon."
"Maybe not," Coratra points ahead, "The city of Quarrin should be just over the next ridge. Only a short ride."
The wagon crests over a grassy hill on the path, and a wafting plume of smoke in the distance comes into view. Suddenly, the canvas rain cover over the wagon rips open and Mr. Wiffles falls through! Rain pours through the hole in the rain cover, and the horses freak out and break into a gallop!

Raul smiles. "There he is! He was sleeping on top of the wagon!"
Derek squints through the heavy rain as the distant object gets closer. Burning torches can be seen above it, and he can vaguely hear shouting through the pounding rain. Getting. Closer.

Spoiler: Hours in the future... (click to show/hide)

Two servants enter the cathedral assembly hall carrying a corpse, and lay it on a slab by the podium. The old man begins chanting over the body, and the congregation joins in. The chanting grows in volume as the rain cascades in through the high windows, and the old man produces a ritual dagger and slides it across the palm of his hand. Dark, incorporeal tentacles begin to manifest around the body as the blood drips on its forehead, and phase inside its chest. With a clap of thunder, the body sits bolt upright and gasps for air!

"Welcome back, Mr...?"
The reanimated corpse, through its confusion, blurts out its former name. "Litz. Azatek Litz."
The two servants pin Azatek to the table as he comes to his senses and begins to struggle.
"You have been born again, child, and now we have a task for you. Rise again, Azatek Lich."

*DRAMATIC THUNDER CLAP*

[Dermonster]

"Ah, is there supposed to be torch lit screaming?"

Duck'n'cover!

[IronyOwl]

((Yes. Hell yes.))


Hang on for the ride.

"Anything you require, Lord Odysseus?"

[Scelly9]

Hunker down in the wagon.

[lawastooshort]

Sorry, slightly missed this.

Also hang on for the ride!

"What would be terrifying? Er... I... I don't know. I don't really have a very active imagination. Perhaps a talking statue? Or... or... yes! a talking octopus!"

[Taricus]

Hang on. And also get out of the rain.

[Gatleos]

The world has gone dim, diffuse grey sunlight shining through the heavy clouds. The rain continues to intensify, and lightning occasionally streaks across the sky.

Odysseus yells over the report of booming thunder. "Caddio, try to... close the rain cover or something! The supplies are all getting soaked!"
"Ah," Derek pokes the adventurers on the back, "is there supposed to be torch lit screaming?"
Ravaatra and Vladimir whirl around to look behind the cart. The torches are closer now, illuminating a cluster of imposing figures on the horizon. The beating of hooves on the hard dirt path can be heard in the distance.
Ravaatra scowls. "We've got company." [-2 MP (ALL)]

***End RP Passage***

(DEF) Suddenly, an arrow zips from the approaching war party and *thwip*s right into Raul's arm! He screams in pain and rolls off the back of the cart, grabbing onto a length of rope as he does so. The rope uncoils and draws taut as Raul slams into the rushing dirt path behind the cart, hanging onto the rope as hard as he can!

The war party draws closer. They appear to be 5-6 heavily-clad soldiers riding on giant boar-like creatures, some holding bows and others holding massive scimitars. While the group stares at the squad of riders behind them, another figure begins to approach from the left riding parallel to the bouncing cart!
Coratra reaches for the bow on her back. "Vladimir, take the wheel!"

Spoiler: Hours in the future... (click to show/hide)

But really not that long at this point.

"So I'm a lich now?"
"No, it was simply a convenient pun."
"Aw."
"As I said, you are working for us now Mr. Litz. There is no use in resisting, the same magicks that brought you back from the grave have control of your mind. You will not be free until you complete your objective."
"Objective?"
"You must hunt down the group of adventurers that you arrived in this town with, and kill the one they call Caddio for us. This mission you must accomplish alone; the enchantments which keep our secrets and experiments safe from travelers also bound our order to this town, lest the charm wear off. You shall be the hand of punishment for us. Failure to complete your objective or insubordination will be punished with-"
"Okay!"
"Okay?"
"Yeah, I'll do it! I'll kill them all if you want, bunch of assholes."
"Oh. Alright, then. This was a little easier than I expected. You must leave immed-"
"Do I get one of those horses covered in blue fire and a big katana blade?!"
"You get a horse and a short sword."
"Aw."

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Bryan
Adventurer: Davkul Stalkingwolf [HP:20/20] [MP:12/20]
Currently: Wagon; laying face-down in the pile of supplies.
Inventory: Peasant Robe
[HP:10/10]
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek Letum
Adventurer: Ravaatra Hellbinder [HP:20/20] [MP:14/20]
Currently: Wagon; hanging onto the rear of the cart.
Inventory: Peasant Robe
[HP:10/10]
Player: Taricus
Name: Raul
Adventurer: Vladimir Silverblade [HP:20/20] [MP:12/20]
Currently: Wagon; skidding along the dirt path with an arrow in his shoulder.
Inventory: Peasant Robe
[HP:8/10]
Player: IronyOwl
Name: Caddio Nine
Adventurer: Odysseus Hawklight [HP:20/20] [MP:14/20]
Currently: Wagon; looking up at the tattered rain cover.
Inventory: Peasant Robe
[HP:10/10]
Player: Scelly9
Name: Denor
Adventurer: Coratra Gladomain [HP:20/20] [MP:12/20]
Currently: Wagon; regretting signing that contract.
Inventory: Peasant Robe
[HP:10/10]

Spoiler: Mr. Wiffles (Dongrel) (click to show/hide)

Description: A large reptilian creature with sharp claws, native to humid swamp environments. This one was formerly owned by the barkeep of the tavern in the town of Zabrek, who may or may not have been joking about using its urine as an additive in his on-tap grog. It was tamed by Coratra Gladomain after escaping and causing havoc in Zabrek, and as a result has become permanently docile and friendly, unable to bring itself to attack a living being.
Inventory: N/A
[HP:10/10]

Hero Caddies      Book I: The Bane of Gortharius      Chapter I: The Chalice of Hope

[lawastooshort]

"Er, Mr Davkul sir, would you like a quick bite to eat before the action sir?"

Hide under the supplies after offering Mr Davkul a quick bite to eat!

[10ebbor10]

Mr Wiffles: Bark at boars. Depending on their respective position in the food chain, this will either enrage or terrify them.

Spoiler: Alternate action (click to show/hide)

Fetch Raul. (Or more precisily, the arrow stuck in his shoulder

[IronyOwl]

Attempt to repair wagon cover!

[Scelly9]

Hide under Bryan!

[Taricus]

Hold onto the rope for dear life, and attempt to get back into the cart if possible!

[Dermonster]

Pull up Raul!