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[monk12]

Mr Wiffles: Bark at boars. Depending on their respective position in the food chain, this will either enrage or terrify them.

Spoiler: Alternate action (click to show/hide)

Fetch Raul. (Or more precisily, the arrow stuck in his shoulder

Oooh, I like both of those, but I think I'll vote for the main one.

[Gatleos]

It's time for mission two! The first, far simpler one produced a horde of angry necromancers, so god knows what'll come out of this.
Turn 7 - Heroes of a Different Story

The riders get ever closer, revealing their blood red eyes and emerald skin! The wagon is being chased by orcs!

Mr. Wiffles begins barking at the boar rider to the left of the cart, causing the boar to go berserk! It veers off into the forest and, if the resounding THUD is any indication, knocks itself and its rider out by slamming headlong into a tree! (...) (...) Raul, meanwhile, climbs hand over hand along the rope, expertly angling himself against the ground to mitigate injuries. Derm reaches out a hand and helps him back onto the cart!

(...) Caddio looks around the cart for something to plug the leaking wagon cover with, and finds nothing. So instead he tears apart his own robe and stretches it over the hole, leaving himself completely naked but the wagon dry!
He smiles broadly and gestures above himself. "Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Everyone looks at Caddio's great works and despairs. Then they look up at the fixed roof.

(...) (...) Bryan speaks to Davkul while Denor hides beneath him. "Er, Mr Davkul sir, would you like a quick bite to eat before the action sir?"
Odysseus overhears him and spins around in his seat. "What a fantastic idea, Bryan! You can all prepare a three course meal for us! After all, the town ahead appears to be under siege by orcish filth. It'll take hours to exterminate them all, and I'm sure we'll be hungry by then! Here you go."
Odysseus scribbles something on a slip of paper and shoves it into Bryan's pocket, and Bryan simply stares back at him. "You're joking, right?"
"'Fraid not, squire. Now," Odysseus smiles, and a golden light emanates from his hand, "I'll see you all in town. Can't be carrying around dead weight during the battle."
A powerful force blast radiates from Odysseus's hand, knocking all of the caddies off the back of the cart! They all slam hard into the rough, muddy path, tumbling over each other in a heap. The squad of boar riders splits in two to fork around the roadblock, converging again at the other side and chasing the wagon off into the distance. The cacophony of squeaking wagon joints and clopping hooves fades away.

The sky continues to darken, and though it is midday it appears little brighter than night. Denor raises himself shakily into a sitting position and scans the surrounding area. Straight down the road, a short wagon ride but a long walk from here, is the city of Quarrin. Smoke still rises in the distance above it. To the right of the path Denor spots what appears to be something humanoid curled up by the side of the road. To the left he sees a small farm house and barn a short walk away.

Dinner deadline in: 6h53m

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Bryan
Adventurer: Davkul Stalkingwolf [HP:20/20] [MP:12/20]
Currently: Dirt Path; sprawled over Mr. Wiffles in a pile of mud.
Inventory: Peasant Robe | Slip of Paper
[HP:8/10]
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek Letum
Adventurer: Ravaatra Hellbinder [HP:20/20] [MP:14/20]
Currently: Dirt Path; laying in a muddy heap of peasantry.
Inventory: Peasant Robe | Another Freaking Vial from Ravaatra
[HP:8/10]
Player: Taricus
Name: Raul
Adventurer: Vladimir Silverblade [HP:20/20] [MP:12/20]
Currently: Dirt Path; wiping mud off his face.
Inventory: Peasant Robe
[HP:6/10]
Player: IronyOwl
Name: Caddio Nine
Adventurer: Odysseus Hawklight [HP:20/20] [MP:14/20]
Currently: Dirt Path; laying in a pile of mud, naked and semi-conscious. Is it Saturday night already?!
Inventory: N/A
[HP:8/10]
Player: Scelly9
Name: Denor
Adventurer: Coratra Gladomain [HP:20/20] [MP:12/20]
Currently: Dirt Path; scouting for plot hooks.
Inventory: Peasant Robe
[HP:8/10]

Spoiler: Mr. Wiffles (Dongrel) (click to show/hide)

Description: A large reptilian creature with sharp claws, native to humid swamp environments. This one was formerly owned by the barkeep of the tavern in the town of Zabrek, who may or may not have been joking about using its urine as an additive in his on-tap grog. It was tamed by Coratra Gladomain after escaping and causing havoc in Zabrek, and as a result has become permanently docile and friendly, unable to bring itself to attack a living being.
Inventory: N/A
[HP:10/10]

Hero Caddies      Book I: The Bane of Gortharius      Chapter I: The Chalice of Hope

[Scelly9]

Grab the list and read it, head off to the far house.

[borno]

Waitlist me!

[IronyOwl]

Caddio's got the best works.


"So, uh," he said, looking around. "Farmhouse or city first? Farm might have food, city definitely has something... and we need to figure out where we're going to cook and serve this stuff...

Also you think this farmhouse is the kindly give strangers clothes kind or the bitter pitchfork everything on sight kind?"

[lawastooshort]

"Right. We need salad, soup, and something to barbeque. I suggest we requisition the salad and soup and a soup cauldron from this farmhouse, and then someone needs to find wood for a fire and something to barbeque on the fire. Perhaps in yon wood. Any suggestions chaps?"

Approach farmhouse, knock and introduce self pleasantly, explaining that we have come to free the town. Offer an exchange of labour for salad (and if possible soup ingredients)

((Once we find out who's inside perhaps the more violently minded of us could just attack the inhabitants and steal what's needed? I can't condone theft and violence myself though. I also think that perhaps the barbeque, being probably the more hero-satisfying of the three courses, should be a priority, despite Bryan's own actions.))

"Er... yes, Caddio, perhaps you should keep out of sight to begin with..."

[IronyOwl]

"Right fine. I'll just be boogying down in these bushes."


Hide from sight. Do not boogie down in the literal sense, despite previous statement, as that would attract too much attention.

[Caellath]

Mr Wiffles: Find a nearby furry animal and give it to Caddio for him to cover his naked body with.

[Taricus]

"...Well, this is STILL better than that shitty old town."

Start foraging for editbles for the hero's dinner.

[Dermonster]

"Welp, if this ain't a test I'm not quite sure what is. God dammit, anyone have a knife? No? Fuck..."

Bite left pinky, fill vial. Follow group.

[Toaster]

Mr Wiffles: Find a nearby furry animal and give it to Caddio for him to cover his naked body with.

This, with a side of eyeballing his dangly bits as potential playtoys.

[monk12]

Mr Wiffles: Find a nearby furry animal and give it to Caddio for him to cover his naked body with.

This, with a side of eyeballing his dangly bits as potential playtoys.

+1

I hope it's a live squirrel.

[Gatleos]

Waitlist me!

Waitlisted!

Also, I added an injury section to the status area. Injuries still don't have an effect on rolls, but I might prevent you from grabbing an object if your character has no arms or something. The injury listing is just there to keep track of that. Flavor text, basically.
Turn 8 - Freeloaders

(...) Raul ignores the arrow sticking out of his shoulder and heads off into the woods to forage. After a few minutes, he returns with quite a few berries cradled in the front of his robe!

(...) After scanning over the list that Odysseus gave to Bryan, Denor jogs over to the nearby farmhouse and knocks on the door. (...) Caddio ducks in the bushes nearby while suppressing the need to boogie, and (...) Bryan joins Denor just as the door opens. A farmer stares at them from the doorway.

"Hello there," Bryan smiles and waves, "It's a bit rainy out here, would you mind letting us and our companions inside for a moment?"
The farmer's eyes dart between the two for a few seconds. "Er... alright, then. Hurry inside, stand on the rug here."
Caddio's screams ring out from the nearby thicket while he wrestles with a squirrel presumably captured and tossed at him by Mr. Wiffles, and the farmer's head whips to the side.
"What's that?! Is someone screaming?!"
Denor steps in front of him. "Nothing, it's nothing! Just let us inside already!"
Bryan and Denor push past the farmer and step into the house, slamming the door shut behind them.

(...) Outside, Derek tries to draw blood from himself to fill up the vial. In a berserk rage that seemingly came straight out of nowhere, he rips off his left pinky finger with his teeth! Screaming and cursing, he jams the stub into the vial as blood pours from the wound.
The farmer's eyes widen. "Okay, now I'm pretty sure there are TWO people screaming out there. I'm going to go check-"
"NOPE," Bryan spreads his arms and blocks the front door, "that's... howler monkeys."
"Howler... monkeys." The farmer stares blankly at Bryan.
"Yes. Howler monkeys. In the forest. ANYWAY," Denor puts a friendly arm around the farmer's neck, "we would appreciate it if you could allow us to raid your food storage and then give us a ride to town."
The farmer's eyes narrow, and he begins slowly reaching for a pitchfork leaning against the wall...

Dinner deadline in: 6h42m

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Bryan
Adventurer: Davkul Stalkingwolf [HP:20/20] [MP:12/20]
Currently: Farmhouse; blocking the exit to the farmhouse.
Inventory: Peasant Robe | Slip of Paper
[HP:8/10] Injuries
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek Letum
Adventurer: Ravaatra Hellbinder [HP:20/20] [MP:14/20]
Currently: Dirt Path; spewing blood into a vial.
Inventory: Peasant Robe | Vial
[HP:8/10] Injuries
Player: Taricus
Name: Raul
Adventurer: Vladimir Silverblade [HP:20/20] [MP:12/20]
Currently: Dirt Path; collecting food from the forest.
Inventory: Peasant Robe
[HP:6/10] Injuries
Player: IronyOwl
Name: Caddio Nine
Adventurer: Odysseus Hawklight [HP:20/20] [MP:14/20]
Currently: Dirt Path; wrestling with a small woodland creature in the bushes.
Inventory: N/A
[HP:8/10] Injuries
Player: Scelly9
Name: Denor
Adventurer: Coratra Gladomain [HP:20/20] [MP:12/20]
Currently: Farmhouse; chatting up the mark.
Inventory: Peasant Robe
[HP:8/10] Injuries

Spoiler: Mr. Wiffles (Dongrel) (click to show/hide)

Description: A large reptilian creature with sharp claws, native to humid swamp environments. This one was formerly owned by the barkeep of the tavern in the town of Zabrek, who may or may not have been joking about using its urine as an additive in his on-tap grog. It was tamed by Coratra Gladomain after escaping and causing havoc in Zabrek, and as a result has become permanently docile and friendly, unable to bring itself to attack a living being.
Inventory: N/A
[HP:10/10]

Hero Caddies      Book I: The Bane of Gortharius      Chapter I: The Chalice of Hope

[monk12]

Mr. Wiffles barks furiously, commanding Caddio to cover his shame!

[IronyOwl]

Valiantly wrestle the fearsome squirrel, attempting to tame it!