21 Opal, 1062We've been traveling for a while now, haven't we, Meep? Have you had a good view of the countryside along the way? We've been following Mastrod's map which shows us where this Shootplunges place is, but we've been asking in all the hamlets along the way and no one has heard of it before. Isn't that weird? Right now we're in Lizardumber, which is a cool name, isn't it? and everyone is saying they don't know anything about a dwarf place named Shootplunges. I hope they're just typical lazy villagers who never left their hometown and that's why they don't know about it. I hope this fat pikeman isn't just lying or following a fake map or something, that would make me pretty pissed off.
Anyway we just had ourselves a good night's sleep and we're about to go to the spot marked on that map. I hope there's something there, something nice and rare and valuable that will make us famous forever. So far we haven't seeen anything dangerous, but I'm pretty sure that we could kill anything that tried to stop us.
Look, Meep, can you see it! That has to be it! There's something there, right where the mark is on that map. I guess Mastrod wasn't lying or stupid after all, even if he is still fat. He's not lean and strong like me and you are, Meep.
(later)
Okay, Meep. Be quiet now, okay? We're gonna sneak around just in case there's anything bad here, so I can bean it off the head with a rock before it even knows we're here. It looks like something bad might have happened. There's some stuff on the ground just thrown all over the place. That doesn't look like a good sign. I've heard dwarfs can get up to some stupid things like trying to steal metal from demons and stuff. Never know what might be around here.
*Gasp* -- look, Meep! Dwarfs! I wonder if they're friendly? Maybe they can tell us why all their stuff is all over the place? I don't see no cave or nothing here. I'm gonna send Mastrod to talk to one of them so I can hide, just in case.
Can you hear anything? Sounds like they don't have nothing useful to say. This guy says he's just a peasant, no family, no job, no nothing. Doesn't need help, doesn't want to come with us... He said something about this being a "fortress," though. Where is it? I don't see anything? Is this just some sort of strange crazy dwarf commune or something?
Aha! There it is, Meep! The entrance! What kinds of crazy things are waiting in here? I bet there will be a dragon or something. Then we can kill it and take its teeth and stuff back to that museum and get famous. Then everyone will have to love us and be nice to us all the time forever!
Hm... Looks kinda... Unfinished, don't it? Maybe something scary came while they were building and it's hiding deep inside, guarding its valuable treasure! We better find it. Keep quiet, okay?
(30 seconds later)
Oh. That's it.
So... Strange crazy dwarf commune then, I guess. Nothing valuable or even interesting at all. What a bunch of stupid jerks, putting their place on a map and calling it a fortress and not having nothing useful to show for it! And stupid Mastrod for dragging us all the way here for nothing! And stupid Muthro for not saying nothing and not helping at all. I guess we got to find somewhere else to find our treasure.
Oh, well. When we were coming here the people in all the villages and hamlets talked about lots of interesting stuff around here. Monsters and bandits and all kinds of things. Maybe we can find something useful in one of those places. I even heard theres some kind of tomb near here. I bet it's full of magic stuff we can take! Yeah, let's go there! Are you ready, Meep?
Yeah, me too.
(later)
Hey, what's that? Is that a skeleton?
Ugh! I've never seen a real skeleton before... Where did it come from? Is there something dangerous around here? I bet there's a huge monster living in this cave! Let's go have a look.
Nope. Nothing. Oh, well. I guess not every hole in the ground can be a monster's den. I guess we should move along.
(later)
We made it! This is the tomb. There sure are a lot of animals around here. But I bet we can kill them without even trying. Here comes a pissed-off-looking badger. I'm gonna throw one of these bolts at it!
Whoa! I take back all the bad stuff I said about Muthro! Look at him kick that badger's stupid furry little butt!
I knew Muthro was the right guy to take with me on this trip. I never even had to throw a bolt through that little critter's head! Muthro is
hardcore. Now let's go explore this tomb!
This is it. The entrance. I got the lock opened with my sneaky skills. Here we go! We'll sneak around again just in case there's monsters inside. So keep quiet!
Wow... A real slab in a real tomb! It's got pretty marks all over it. I guess maybe it's writing? Maybe it says what dead person is here! But none of us knows how to read it.
Whoa, traps! Good thing I'm so quick, huh? You might have got hurt, Meep! Don't worry, I'll keep you safe.
Ew, more skeletons. I guess we don't have to fight anyone if they're already dead! Still, not finding anything cool in here. Gotta keep looking...
Hey, this is kinda cool! A really nice hood made from a shark's head! I think I'm gonna keep this for myself. The others don't seem to mind. They don't got my sense of style, you know.
AHH!
It's a mummy! Holy crap it's attacking Muthro! That is the GROSSEST thing I ever seen in my life!
I don't think it sees us, Meep. Let's get it with my bolts!
Oh boy... It's not working. Let's get outta here NOW!
Muthro! NOOOOO!!!!! Run run run run run...
MEEEP! WE HAVE TO KEEP RUNNING! NEVER STOP RUNNING! WE HAVE TO GET BACK HOME WHERE IT'S SAFE!
Journal of Meep the Small Shale Rock
21 Opal, 1062---
Here lies Aira Mopsprayed the human with her best friend Meep and a rather nice new shark leather hood. For a little while, at least. Until someone comes to disturb her and her new master.
---
So that's it, lasted even longer than I thought I would actually, given I usually play demigods and still get killed pretty quick. I'll make a nice fortress over the next few days then upload the save. That may have been short, but it was FUN!