WARNING: PHOTO INTENSIVE.
Today is the day. Today is the day that I, Gorden Dorenshistak, do something with my life. Wanderlust has taken hold. The world holds many great things, and I won't see any of it in this dinky little town. I spent everything I have on an iron sword and a bronze shield. It's time to make something of myself.
I head north, where legends are made. I end up passing through the neighboring town, where the dwarves built their houses right in the middle of a field of writhing eyeballs.
We never really got along with those weirdos, but they still let me spend the night.
It snowed during the night, but undeterred I continued north. Out of the white, however, charged an entire pack of vicious wolves.
I mean, they weren't THAT vicious. But they were still wolves.
I stop by one of the nearby fortresses by the name of Diamondripped to recruit a few soldiers to my cause. That attack made me realize that I can't do this all alone.
Looks like no one's home, except the butchered remains of a few elks and badgers...I pick up some of the meat, left behind from some other adventurer, and continue on my way.
The next fortress is much more fruitful.
With my new companions in tow, we head north through the badlands.
Oh fuck.
Well, maybe it's not all that bad.
I am marveling in my remarkable foresight to recruit a couple of companions.
The swordsman is stung and falls. I never even got his name.
I stop by some abandoned fortress named "dashed stakes" or some nonsense. Who's naming these places?? I decide to pass it by.
The framerate was just too terrible to bother exploring the fort.
While following a cliff edge to find a route across a riverbed, my companion charges at a nearby parakeet and falls off. Looks like I'm alone...I rush east, towards a nearby town. I only get as far as the animal pens before I get company...
I manage to get away, at the expense of the animals. It's not long before I find the town center. Apparently this place is named "Peachcooked." There was a remarkable dearth of peaches, cooked or otherwise.
I pick up a few new companions and head northward once more. I barely step foot outside of town when...
Damn goblins. We're chased west once more, and we take shelter in some place named..."Trap-something." The sign was too faded, I couldn't make it out. Still, though, weird name. No other place in this god-forsaken land has a fitting name, so I'm sure this place has nothing to do with traps.
Oh cool, some mine carts. I hop in, and...
Oh god damn it.
My own sword. I spent my life savings on that sword. Armok, how could you be so cruel?
I guess my adventuring days are over. My companions and I leave this horrible trap-filled place, going north once more. Hopefully, we'll reach the peaceful, legendary town of Dinnerwandered unscathed.
Can I say I absolutely hate kobolds?
Their ambush crippled my right leg, and I quickly deployed a crutch that I pilfered from that trap-filled hell. One arm, one leg, can it get any fucking worse?
God dammit!
Upon losing my last remaining arm, I drop my crutch. My last companion is murder-raped by the alligator as I hop to safety. It's midday when I inch-worm my way into the legendary city of Dinnerwandered.
I reach the keep, powered by shear determination. My eyes water at the sights before me.
Dragon eggs, legendary blades taken from the bowels of the earth, the corpses of countless monsters, prizes and trinkets of gold and rare animal bones, artifacts of the highest caliber...what could I possibly have to offer?
The severed arm of a foolish adventurer who craved adventure.
I notice that an arrow has been embedded in my belly.
I laugh; how long has that been there? Compared to the other injuries I've sustained, it doesn't seem all that horrible. I pull it out and drop it with my severed arm. May it be a warning to other fools who dream of what I dream.
At least I had something to offer. I leave, ashamed of my meager offering, and head north one last time. There was a town there, called "Pointyfrenzies." Considering all the points shoved into my body in a frenzied fashion, I would suppose that it's more fitting than most of the places I've been so far. Hopping along on my last leg, I quietly accept my life as a disabled adventurer, resting in the town by the sea.
THE END.
[[I'll do my fortress and post the save in a day or two.]]