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[MarcAFK]

"Oh some Giant Magpies are harassing my woodcutters, I'll just send my 2 armoured starting militia to deal with them"
*2 mins later* "Why isn't my expedition leader, my other sword-human and one of my woodcutters on the unit list?"
*5 mins later* "OK flying creatures are kinda bad for an open fort, I'll designate half my remaining 4 guys as longbow-men and get them to deal with those giant peachfaces before they turn into a problem"
*5 mins later*  "FFF My 2 remaining guys are bleeding out and can't even crawl to the safety of my palisade"

[Sus]

"Might as well connect this tower-to-be to the main fort right away; they'll have it ready before..."
> A vile force of darkness has arrived!
...
> Your strength has been broken.

The next iteration:
"They've completed the first floor, so it should be relatively safe now."
> A vile force of darkness has arrived!
...
"Oh carp, the scaffold! D: "
...
> Your settlement has crumbled to its end.



And then there's
"Whew, that sure was a lot of designating. I'll just wait for them to haul all that stuff and then save, just in case."
> Dwarf Fortress.exe has stopped responding

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[WillowLuman]

MODS
"Oh, I appear to have transformed into a dragon. Now let's see my description."

[Olith McHuman]

I'll put my mist generator in my dining/meeting room because dorfs are always there. I'll also put my levers there too, and I won't order the wrong one pulled because it's covered by mist.

The dark stranglers were a pushover, the tigermen can't be THAT hard.

[Reudh]

"Well, this goblin prisoner has surely been disarmed and stripped. He can't pose a threat now, can he?"

[TheLinguist]

"An aquifer in a terrifying biome? Excellent, I can stay inside, away from the zombies, and still have water! Just gotta dig down to the stone..."

[Olith McHuman]

Floor hatches? I don't need any floor hatches! My entire-map-flooding magma cannon will function perfectly.

[nopil3os]

"let's just dig away this lone natural pillar outside the gates so the entrance looks nicer"

urist mcminer was in hospital for 7 years with a broken spine

[Malarauko]

We'll be fine as long as the titan can't fly.

[Flying Dice]

"I'm sure the bridge can atom-smash those elephants."

[Broseph Stalin]

This is secure enough, when was the last time I saw a flying building destroyer.

[WillowLuman]

Unless that FB is made of something harder than iron, there it no way he's getting past my army

[Leo and the Hairy Midgets]

"Oh look, magma!"

[Cellmonk]

"I'll have time to patch up my tunnel next to the river before the river melts. No problem."

[Ross Vernal]

"Well I don't want to run out of water for my waterfall, so I'll just feed it from the bottom of the lake."

"Surely they're out of arrows after a week of chasing Urist McDoesntburrow around."

"I don't need to remove those upward ramps. They'll never get into that part of the fort anyway."

"I'm sure the dwarf has started building his artifact already."

"...I'm sure that berserk dwarf isn't part of the militia."

"I don't need to have any idling dwarves. There hasn't been a siege in four years and they always pull the lever in time."

"Oh, I turned Temperature off? Let me fix that..."

"Well, my last fort OHK'd a dragon with a shield bash. I don't need to worry about this one."

"Zombie whales can't walk, can they?"

"I forbade death items, right?"

"This should be a perfectly safe cave-in."

"I don't need to put walls around the corner of this pump stack."

"Screw you, goblins, I forbade all the doors!"

"So I can build the upward ramp there... wait a second, why is there no alcohol anymore? Why are my magma forges not.... Ooooh."

"I just installed this graphics pack, but I'm pretty sure that isn't a goblin fort right next to my embark."

"I don't need to tell my dorfs to not go into the 2/7 water just before winter."