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[Melzer]

My best artifact was a raw adamantine short sword called "Magmoztharnas" which means "dragon slayer". It needed 1 piece raw adamantine, 1 voilet spessartine, 1 piece silk cloth (for the handle I guess), it was encrusted with voilet spessartine with an image of the Dragon Kreth*pshshsh* (which it finally killed).

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is what happened:
1. Had Urist Forgemaster smelting magnetite.
2. Had 1 piece of raw adamantite laying next to the magma forge.
3. Urist Forgemaster had a secretive mood.
4. He grabbed the adamantine
5. grabbed the rest of the ingredients
6. started making artifact
7. finished artifact

I gave it to my sword squad leader.
This may seem unthinkable but it's real (was at least, had my computer memory cleaned just after Magmoztharnas was made). I was going to post it on the forums but my computer crashed and I abandoned the project.
That's why I love Dwarf Fortress, You never know what fun is waiting for you around the corner

[wastedlands]

"Bonunitat: 'The Sooty Chills', a dog leather thong

This is a dog leather thong. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object is adourned with rings of dog leather."

I laughed when I saw it.

[WaffleEggnog]

A lead bucket......

Il give it to the Elves and wait for them to slowly die....

[WillowLuman]

"Bonunitat: 'The Sooty Chills', a dog leather thong

This is a dog leather thong. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object is adourned with rings of dog leather."

I laughed when I saw it.

Ugh, thongs artifacts! They are my nemesis. I'll raise you a dwarf leather thong from a fell mood. Those sick little bastards!

[bombzero]

"Bonunitat: 'The Sooty Chills', a dog leather thong

This is a dog leather thong. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object is adourned with rings of dog leather."

I laughed when I saw it.

Ugh, thongs artifacts! They are my nemesis. I'll raise you a dwarf leather thong from a fell mood. Those sick little bastards!

wow, that one is actually sick, even for dwarf fortress... course i did get a dwarf bone bucket once, worst part being the butchers shop was near the hospital... so he grabbed the CMD. now he helps the wounded forever!!!

[Aviator CJ]

I once had an artefact called 'Scorchingwhip the Tactical Cacti.' With a name like that, I can't help imagine something like that flaming whip the Balrog had in Lord of the Rings, with a cactus attached to the end of it.

Unfortunately, the artefact itself was a magnetite earring. Waste of an awesome name.

[bombzero]

Hey! nobody commented on my mediocre artwork... you guys suck. 

anyways, too bad that one wasn't actually a whip.

[Blizzlord]

I once saw my brother get an orthocaste table with the droste effect on it in orthocaste. Was the first artefact I saw with my own eyes.

Edit:

Hey! nobody commented on my mediocre artwork... you guys suck. 

I imagined it a bit more... black.

[bombzero]

my first artifact was a slate table... i sense a trend.

[Valdrax]

my first artifact was a slate table... i sense a trend.

Slate may be a boring & cheap material, but that table is a great addition to any dining room, noble's quarters, or bookkeeper/organizer's office.  Embrace the slate table.  Learn to love it.

[DaftSkunk]

The best artifact of my new fort.. either the ashen crown depicting the first of many goblins drowning or the artifact crossbow which wasnīt yet used because water solves all my problems.

Worst is a siltstone toy axe. I didnīt read the siltstone toy part at first and was so happy.... :/
It does have an image of an artifactstatue on it that was made -after- the toy axe, which is strangely cool.

[WillowLuman]

Once got a soap shield  It had an image of Dwarves and humans laboring, and a Giant Cave Spider crying.

WTF am I supposed to do with that?

[CursedBurger]

Once got a soap shield  It had an image of Dwarves and humans laboring, and a Giant Cave Spider crying.

WTF am I supposed to do with that?

Fight off infectious megabeasts?

[AWdeV]

The GCS was crying because it got soap in its eyes. Poor thing.

[Loud Whispers]

Once got a soap shield  It had an image of Dwarves and humans laboring, and a Giant Cave Spider crying.

WTF am I supposed to do with that?

Ok, you win.