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Author Topic: Best method of infanticide?  (Read 5756 times)

khearn

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #15 on: March 07, 2012, 05:17:51 pm »

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Have them killed. Nothing solves a problem quite as effectively as simply having it killed.

Callista

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #16 on: March 07, 2012, 05:19:49 pm »

I don't see why you want to kill them. Put them to work harvesting your crops; that's what my dwarf kids do. Sometimes I use Dwarf Therapist to turn them into miners, but usually they just farm.

You can burrow them in their bedrooms and dump some food and booze in there with them. Keeps 'em from messing with your FPS so much. And make sure to set your child cap to something reasonable.
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Sanf

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #17 on: March 07, 2012, 05:24:47 pm »

I would suggest you to build 41 floor tiles in a large room (with a door). Make all your adult dwarves busy (per example by dumping a lot of stuff) and order the deconstruction of all the 41 tiles. Your 41 children should all run to the room and start deconstructing, all you need to do is to forbid the door as soon as they are all in the room (you can save some children by canceling their jobs).

It's up to you if you want to let them die of hunger or Pit/Pond some goblins into the room...  I don't know if enclosed children are nicer to your fps, maybe you can let them live.

If you only want to kill the babies I suggest you to make your dwarves run on a bridge flooded with running waters* (two burrows, a bridge and a water pump). Just manage to empty the pool after that, so you can burry the babies.   


*didn't do it on 0.34, worked on 0.31
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khearn

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #18 on: March 07, 2012, 05:25:48 pm »

I'm slightly terrified by how utterly unfazed everyone is...

This from the woman who just explained in another thread how she drops her children into a glass enclosed splatting chamber in her dining room.

Well, not her children, her dwarves' children. But still, she's terrified by us?

;)
« Last Edit: March 07, 2012, 05:40:13 pm by khearn »
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Have them killed. Nothing solves a problem quite as effectively as simply having it killed.

Girlinhat

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #19 on: March 07, 2012, 05:31:34 pm »

*monocle* Only Slightly.

Koremu

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #20 on: March 07, 2012, 05:46:24 pm »

I'm slightly terrified by how utterly unfazed everyone is...

This from the woman who just explained in another thread how she drops her children into a glass enclosed splatting chamber in her dining room.

Well, not her children, her dwarves' children. But still, she's terrified by us?

;)

I was about to post this.

I'm afraid in over 18 years of Internet and pre-Internet BBS exposure, I've become rather jaded.

Posting goatse and tubgirl just gets a reponse of "Olde" from me.

Which probably explains why I'm not fazed by the extreme videogame cruelty potential of DF.
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It's a dwarf.  Their natural habitat is "trapped on the wrong side of a wall".

Flinging children halfway across the map to land in magma is good, wholesome fun, but extramarital reproduction?  Why, that's just unseemly!

Nighthawk

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #21 on: March 07, 2012, 06:12:43 pm »

After a year or two on these forums, you're usually not fazed by much.

Now if someone really wanted to test our mettle... give DF Playstation 3 graphics.
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Callista

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #22 on: March 07, 2012, 11:03:01 pm »

Yeah, right. The FPS would grind down to zero.
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tommy521

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #23 on: March 07, 2012, 11:12:06 pm »

Repeating spike trap. Downside with that though is that if something dies on the trap tile itself, an adult dwarf may go onto it to retrieve the body. Or just a sock...

Tested (not intentionally) in my fort. Side-effects may include filling the fort with miasma from rotting feet everywhere, the death of all your wardogs, and a lot of tantruming parents and cat-owners.

My next fortress shall be covered in them.

acetech09

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #24 on: March 07, 2012, 11:38:30 pm »

I recently discovered a way of baby-cide that nearly ended my fort in a TS.

I made a central fortress staircase that descends from my meeting hall, straight down to the caverns, where there's a sideways hallway about 10 tiles and then all the way down to SMR at the bottom - I completely missed the magma sea.

I was messing around with water on the surface, trying to create a nice waterfall for my dwarves, and accidentally sent a large waterfall down the stair shaft. I don't think about it much - it wasn't a lot of water, so I continue on with my life. A week later (ingame) I get the notification "Urist McBabby, Dwarven Baby, has been missing for a week.". I try to find where he went, but no avail. Then i realized. I zoom down to the staircase bridge, and water is still flowing through there.

The flood of water crashed through the hallway in my busy staircase, separating the babies from their mothers and sending the babies down the second stairs and all the way down to the SMR, where they were enveloped and never seen again.
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Girlinhat

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #25 on: March 08, 2012, 12:28:43 am »

So... you essentially washed your dwarves so clean that their babies were scrubbed away?

God that's...  I don't...  I have GOT to do something crazy with water now!

Kofthefens

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #26 on: March 08, 2012, 12:40:53 am »

This thread makes me think of Don Hertzfeld -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fpc5vgi9zbM

Personally, once they all stop being infants (if they survive that long), I burrow them into a pit with ~50 cats in it. It makes me happy, thinking of them, as my cat sits on my lap. Sometimes I also just have a training spear or two in a busy hallway. It can help improve dwarves' combat skills and also gets rid of useless babies. I also enjoy putting the mothers in the military.
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bombzero

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #27 on: March 08, 2012, 12:47:21 am »

repeat of what i posted in another thread.

flowing water pushes babies through fortifications, that is all.
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MarcAFK

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #28 on: March 08, 2012, 01:01:55 am »

When i get childcare going i have got to install one of those dwarven baby sieves.
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They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

acetech09

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Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #29 on: March 08, 2012, 01:23:52 am »

New haiku I thought of while laying in bed:


So wrong, yet so right.
Helps out with the FPS:
Dwarven baby sieve.
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