Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1] 2 3

Author Topic: Best method of infanticide?  (Read 5731 times)

Kestrel

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Best method of infanticide?
« on: March 07, 2012, 02:13:21 pm »

Yes yes, it's an awful question.  But I've got 41 unproductive juveniles mucking about with my FPS.  I was trying to think of the best ways to separate these tikes from their mums so I can do 'em in proper.

I suppose one way to do this would be through a series of wooden spear traps that would bruise the parents but fatally maul the kiddies.

Any other more pragmatic suggestions?

Only in Dwarf Fortress would this question be deemed reasonable...
Logged
Goblin 6 (to Goblin 7): I heard that I died.
Goblin 7 (to Goblin 6): I died.
Goblin 6 (to Goblin 7): It was inevitable.
Goblin 7 (to Goblin 6): It was inevitable.

Mudcrab

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2012, 02:17:09 pm »

throw em in a pit full of monstrosities!

Teneb

  • Bay Watcher
  • (they/them) Penguin rebellion
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2012, 02:17:58 pm »

I'd suggest a danger room or the "dwarf child care" system.

It depends mostly on their age. You may want to keep those that are 10+ years old alive, since they'll become productive slaves members of your fort soon.
Logged
Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

imperium3

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2012, 02:19:47 pm »

Spill some suitably lethal forgotten beast extract in a thoroughfare, then designate it as a restricted traffic zone. Your dwarves will go around it, but children and pets will walk straight through it and die. If FB extract is too difficult to arrange, try a repeating spike trap. Downside with that though is that if something dies on the trap tile itself, an adult dwarf may go onto it to retrieve the body. Or just a sock...

Tested (not intentionally) in my fort. Side-effects may include filling the fort with miasma from rotting feet everywhere, the death of all your wardogs, and a lot of tantruming parents and cat-owners.
Logged
Socks inspire the same sort of emotions in dwarfs that Helen of Troy inspired in the Achaean Greeks. Although it is said that Helen's face launched a thousand ships, socks have surely launched a million ultimately-fatal Store Owned Item tasks.

Kestrel

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2012, 02:30:43 pm »

Side-effects may include filling the fort with miasma from rotting feet everywhere, the death of all your wardogs, and a lot of tantruming parents and cat-owners.
I'm okay with all that.

:D
Logged
Goblin 6 (to Goblin 7): I heard that I died.
Goblin 7 (to Goblin 6): I died.
Goblin 6 (to Goblin 7): It was inevitable.
Goblin 7 (to Goblin 6): It was inevitable.

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2012, 02:34:54 pm »

easiest way is locked door + burrow + no food
Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Naryar

  • Bay Watcher
  • [SPHERE:VERMIN][LIKES_FIGHTING]
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2012, 02:37:20 pm »

Danger room indeed.

Solon64

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2012, 02:41:36 pm »

Only in dwarf fortress... if the news media ever finds out about this game...
Logged
PS: Seriously, you must have, like, super-getting-lost skills. You could go missing in a straight corridor and impale yourself on flat ground if I don't tell you where to go.

NedeN

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2012, 02:44:20 pm »

Spill some suitably lethal forgotten beast extract in a thoroughfare, then designate it as a restricted traffic zone. Your dwarves will go around it, but children and pets will walk straight through it and die. If FB extract is too difficult to arrange, try a repeating spike trap. Downside with that though is that if something dies on the trap tile itself, an adult dwarf may go onto it to retrieve the body. Or just a sock...

Tested (not intentionally) in my fort. Side-effects may include filling the fort with miasma from rotting feet everywhere, the death of all your wardogs, and a lot of tantruming parents and cat-owners.

Well to avoid the sock and dead children issue is to forbid them from the o>F menu. Now what I think the OP wants is for the BABIES to die, only thing I can think of it putting the mothers in the military, setting up a colosseum and have them fight some of your POW's, the babies should be eliminated very quickly, but if you dont mind berserk mothers and fathers go for it.
Logged
I watched a zombie dwarf tear off a girls dress and hit her with it so hard it became lodged in her skull.

Ghoulz - 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on carp insurance.

Kestrel

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #9 on: March 07, 2012, 02:52:05 pm »

Spill some suitably lethal forgotten beast extract in a thoroughfare, then designate it as a restricted traffic zone. Your dwarves will go around it, but children and pets will walk straight through it and die. If FB extract is too difficult to arrange, try a repeating spike trap. Downside with that though is that if something dies on the trap tile itself, an adult dwarf may go onto it to retrieve the body. Or just a sock...

Tested (not intentionally) in my fort. Side-effects may include filling the fort with miasma from rotting feet everywhere, the death of all your wardogs, and a lot of tantruming parents and cat-owners.

Well to avoid the sock and dead children issue is to forbid them from the o>F menu. Now what I think the OP wants is for the BABIES to die, only thing I can think of it putting the mothers in the military, setting up a colosseum and have them fight some of your POW's, the babies should be eliminated very quickly, but if you dont mind berserk mothers and fathers go for it.
Ooh!  This idea!  I love it!

And it shall be done.
Logged
Goblin 6 (to Goblin 7): I heard that I died.
Goblin 7 (to Goblin 6): I died.
Goblin 6 (to Goblin 7): It was inevitable.
Goblin 7 (to Goblin 6): It was inevitable.

BigFatStupidHead

  • Bay Watcher
  • obscure to the point of being cryptic
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #10 on: March 07, 2012, 04:20:17 pm »

You could cause a controlled flood with runoff emptying through a giant drop. Mommies are strong enough to not get washed away, but ought to lose hold of their babies. The little ones should be swept away and down the drop.
Logged

Wannazzaki

  • Bay Watcher
  • [PRONE_TO_RAGE:9001][TOO_HAIRY][ADAMANTINE BEARD]
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #11 on: March 07, 2012, 04:39:45 pm »

I've seen worse.

/eats biscuit.

As for infanticide i use moats or danger rooms, and necromancers because i enjoy zombie baby hordes running wild and free
Logged
Son of Slaanesh, full of desire, He does cocaine and his head's on fire! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM Rider! Doom rider! Na na, na na!

Yoink

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #12 on: March 07, 2012, 04:44:00 pm »

Ehehe, I was checking where that Toadburger guy had been posting, and I certainly laughed when I saw him in this thread. :P
No wonder nobody was fazed by it...
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

peskyninja

  • Bay Watcher
  • Natural de-selector
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #13 on: March 07, 2012, 05:00:27 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
Burn the land and boil the sea. You can't take the sky from me

Thou son of a b*tch wilt not ever make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, f**k thy mother.

Naryar

  • Bay Watcher
  • [SPHERE:VERMIN][LIKES_FIGHTING]
    • View Profile
Re: Best method of infanticide?
« Reply #14 on: March 07, 2012, 05:15:45 pm »

Wait. What does OP means by "best" ?

Most efficient ?

Most hilariously brutal and needlessly cruel ?

Most ridiculously overblown, aka most dwarfy ?

Or all three ?  :P
Pages: [1] 2 3