These rules WILL change as play goes on, as weirdly worded cards come up, and other such sillyness. Thanks to Gryph for the basis of these rules.
WIN!
At the end of the game, the player with the most points wins.
Points?
The number of points a player has is the amount of all point values on the cards they have played (not counting hand!) in front of them, in addition to any bonus points they may have from certain cards.
Playing
Players begin with 5 cards. I shall be your Random Card Drawer, via PM.
Players draw 2 cards each turn, and play 2 cards each turn. You can't pass. Drawing does not take place on turn 1.
To play a card in front of you, post 'I play [card image]'. To play a card on someone else, or other weirdness as determined by the cards, just say 'I play [card image] on [target].'
Cards can be played in front of any player, the effects go to the player targeted.
Played cards stay in front of the targeted player.
Removed/discarded/destroyed cards will be in an imaginary trash heap.
Discarding can be done from either the hand or the player's played cards, if a choice to discard a card is given.
Players have a bonus point counter in their status for cards that grant points not due to their value.
If all players (except one) agree, a card can be sent to the suckbox, an imaginary jail for cards. A suckboxed card will have its effects cancelled.
All players play at once.
You have 3 real life days, roughly, to finish your turns. Players who wait until the last day to take their turn will only be allowed to play 1 card per hour.
Cards that are not clearly understood can be brought to a vote. Two players must state that they disagree on the meaning for this to happen. I am a tiebreaker!