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Author Topic: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts  (Read 16866 times)

exolyx

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Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« on: March 06, 2012, 07:35:59 pm »

A goblin, scar across one eye, blinding it as well as a large spiked steel hammer strapped to his back looks into your young eyes with his one good one. His dark red hair drapes down to below his shoulders, and he has some silver mechanisms on one leg, obviously that one leg wouldn't walk without this contraption's aid. He slowly begins to speak, his voice raspy with age, but you can tell that age is not the only cause for his voice, as if fire had burned it before. "Boy, listen. This is important to you. As you know, I am retiring soon as the goblin king. You are the sole successor, but you are an utter wimp. Your older brother Song died, your father Ngezbo was murdered, and your mother with him. You're barely old enough to lead an army, you've only razed one small village, with an army three times the size of the village. what I'm saying is that you're going to screw us over if you don't know how to really command an army. Unfortunately, I must retire. There is hope for you yet though boy. That is my memoirs. Only three have read this book before, Me, your father, and your brother. both were great commanders. Now it is time for the torch to be passed to you." He pulls out a book from a satchel at his side. The leather cover is old and cracked, The elder goblin stands up, leaning on a walking stick as gnarled as he is, walking awkwardly out of the hut. The young goblin looks down at the cover of the book. It reads "Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts." He opens the front cover, and begins to read.


The dwarf is a strange creature, possibly the most sadistic being in the world, their main god is a god of blood, which they eagerly appease. They are the most creative beings as well, devising new and even crueler ways to brutally murder whoever they feel like. Oftentimes they murder diplomats just for the sake of starting a war, for fun. Because of this, we have waged eternal warfare on their race in hope to eliminate their cruelty, sometimes even forcibly taking their children in order to prevent them from becoming such violent beings. Strangely enough, they are almost entirely defensive, and rarely attack outside of their borders. They also have violent personalities, from being absolutely ecstatic while being rained on by a waterfall inside, but then going outside and getting rained on by real rain they proceed to snap and tear each other limb from limb. As well as these strange mood swings, dwarves will also stop at nothing to obtain the footwear, particularly socks, from our fallen bretheren. We have long since outlawed the taking of live, grown dwarves for science on the subject, as it is deemed too cruel, despite them taking us live, for use in their sick, twisted idea of "science" and entertainment. I do have to give them credit though, they make amazing hooch. This is about me, Stozu Wickedrhyme, and my exploits against this race, and a guide to how their fortresses work.

___________________________________________________________________________________

This story will be told in third person, as if it is happening. This is obviously going to be a suggestion thread, you tell what to do and I'll incorporate it. Remember, in this story we will be only commanding the goblins, I am the one who decides what demented deathtraps the dwarves use. Trust me, they'll be dorfy in every way.

So, on to the name, what shall our main character's name be (If you didn't catch it, it's the older goblin in the intro)
« Last Edit: March 07, 2012, 10:23:26 pm by exolyx »
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Robocorn

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2012, 05:51:47 am »

Stozu Wickedrhyme the Sour Dusk of Mastery.

Ghazkull

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2012, 02:07:15 pm »

Gran Ohneeye
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exolyx

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2012, 05:01:42 pm »

Alright, some people have suggested names, I'd just like to see a few more ideas before one is decided upon. If multiple people vote for one it's probably going to be chosen. Just sayin.
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The Fool

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2012, 06:31:54 pm »

Gran Ohneeye
Either this or Stozu Ohneeye.
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Steam ID: The Fool [B12]
A Flexible Mind (Suggestion Game)

Yoink

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2012, 06:33:48 pm »

Stalkang Wickedseat.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

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Iituem

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2012, 06:48:19 pm »

Stozu Wickedrhyme the Sour Dusk of Mastery.
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exolyx

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2012, 07:00:28 pm »

Seems like Stozu is a popular first name, just gonna see if anyone else has something to put in, then I'll actually get started.
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exolyx

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2012, 09:52:54 pm »

Eh, Stozu wickedrhyme seems like a great name for him. So, to starting then!


I looked upon the gates of this outpost, built out of copper. In the gate there is a hallway, leading deep into a mountainside. In front there is a stocky creature, the first live dwarf I have ever seen. It's terrifying.  He's holding a telescope and is looking at us, he has an axe strapped to his back, coated in blood as well as his beard having a bone sticking out. I quivered in my boots.
"This your first outpost?"
"Yeah, It's so ominous."
"Relax, your swordgoblin squad should be fine, I wont let this siege fail. I've commanded several others. All were a success."
That's some consolation, but as I scan the ground nearby the fort, there are more than a few rotting corpses strewn about the landscape. All stripped of clothing and weapons. The hallway is seemingly empty.
"Careful, they all look empty. But really, they contain insane traps. Be careful, the dwarves have no regard for their own lives. They will stop at nothing for us to die horribly."
The goblin next to me walked ahead, and shouted out in a menacing tone: "Charge!"

What is your squadron of ten going to do?
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Robocorn

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #9 on: March 08, 2012, 08:53:42 am »

>: The flying steel bolt strikes Urist McLookout's in the  head, shattering the skull and bruising the brain.
The steel bolt has been embedded in the wound.
Urist McLookout has been struck down.

Tiruin

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #10 on: March 08, 2012, 09:02:05 am »

Move two swordgoblins armed with shields out in the open, but not in the field of corpses and order them to look apprehensive. The other eight will wait in some random underbrush in the perimeter of the fortress, readying their crossbows and other weapons in ambush. When the dwarves charge to fight the two or bring out their marksdwarves, return fire first with our own crossbowgoblins, pulling back the two decoys and hopefully drawing the fight away from the trapped field, attack and flank those who are foolish enough to attack us. [/nometaonthemartialtrance]

Also, goblin warcry.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2012, 09:04:10 am by Tiruin »
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exolyx

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #11 on: March 08, 2012, 04:38:03 pm »

The spotter dwarf runs back to the inner fortress to alert others of the siege, farm animals start to head inside, crowding the halls, you are actually quite impressed, they have quite a collection of animals, you've rarely seen Draltha, yet they have a large herd. Mostly there are yaks though. You issue the order to the goblins in your squad, and they move into the bushes following your lead. the two other goblins split off from the main army, the rest of the siege, which is charging haphazardly forward. They creep to the edge of the corpse pile. the rest of the siege charges forward, untouched yet. While looking around in your general area, you notice what seems like a metal hatch in front of you, covered in dirt and grass.
As the siege went forward, a window opened in the side of the mountain, and a dwarf looked out of it. "Goblins! We have held off your kind before! we can do it again! For the glory of Elder hill! for the glory of The Iron Empire!" The window closed before a bolt shot right into the stone next to him. Two new windows open, like eyes in position as the entrance is the mouth, two dwarves come up to them and start firing bolts into the army.
___________________________________

What to do?
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Tiruin

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #12 on: March 09, 2012, 05:31:50 am »

Gather your squad (I didn't know we commanded the whole siege, just a single squad) and sneak near the hatch. Try to pry it open and head inside to sabotage the dwarves from within. Bring your most able melee-goblins, specifically those with swords and axes.

The Marksgoblins should stay behind lines, covering the van of the army by shooting at any dwarf in range, preferring those out of cover and nearer to the main entrance than those behind fortifications.

But before all that, re-order the army to form a semi-circular perimeter that is flanked by melee-goblins, to prevent any ambushes. We are on their soil, and we don't want any surprises.

We do not have trolls, so we must make best by finding an alternative entryway.
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exolyx

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #13 on: March 09, 2012, 03:03:41 pm »

You do only control a squad of ten, the other part of the army is just charging as usual. Se, err, you still can do some orders that you mentioned though.

One of your two marksdwarves shoots off one of the marksdwarves, in the head. Another dwarf simply came up and uses the now deceased dwarf as a shield. Truly ferocious warriors.

You pry at the hatch, your fingers don't cut it so you use the handle of your copper hammer as a lever. as it opens, you feel a cold draft blast you, a staircase spirals down, and you can see a torch below, with a skeleton, seemingly from a goblin, slumped against the wall, there are also various unidentifiable bones strewn about. 5 melee weapon goblins, the ones you have in your squad other than marksgoblins or the two decoys.

You cannot see far into the hallway due to the angle.
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exolyx

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Re: Death Trap: A goblin's guide to Dwarven outposts
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2012, 07:03:35 pm »

Come on, the first puzzle is about to start in this hole...
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