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Author Topic: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread  (Read 1287511 times)

Vector

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5895 on: May 19, 2013, 10:25:42 pm »

Exactly.  That's how I feel about it, too.
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Onlyhestands

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5896 on: May 19, 2013, 11:07:44 pm »

This may surprise you, but I'm very strongly for them as a general principle (though perhaps they might need to be fine-tuned a bit).  I realize that not everyone is like me, but I've had some very bad experiences dating across a four-year age gap--and I was fresh out of high school, a fully consenting adult!
I dated a women 9 years older than me for a period, no real bad experience with her. I figure the two year leeway rule for people under 18 is good enough. I think an 18yr old with a 15yr old is a bit odd.
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Vector

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5897 on: May 19, 2013, 11:09:49 pm »

Mine was 18 and 22; I'd just graduated from high school, he'd just graduated from college.  Didn't work out so well because I was a bit of a pushover and didn't have the critical thinking skills I needed to figure out what was going on.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

SalmonGod

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5898 on: May 20, 2013, 12:09:42 am »

I see it as such a grey area that I can't shake the feeling that trying to legislate it is overreaching and sort of lashing out uselessly at reality.

I mean... young people put themselves in social situations that they regret later.  This doesn't just apply to romantic relationships, but to every aspect of socialization and it happens to absolutely everybody.  It's not even always about being taken advantage of.  Often enough people hurt each other because they all have their own problems and misunderstandings, or just don't understand what they want.  Screwing up is part of figuring all that out.  I understand that the damage from being taken advantage of in a romantic relationship can run deep and there are real predatory people out there, which is why it's something I don't argue much.  I've never looked into how much variation there is in how different places handle it.  Maybe someplace has sensible laws in this area that wouldn't bother me.  As it stands, they usually seem to be incredibly black & white, which inevitably results in a bunch of collateral damage.
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Vector

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5899 on: May 20, 2013, 12:12:04 am »

I think I'd feel better about it if part of our general coursework included discussion of consent.  I don't just mean sexually, I mean on all levels, like how prisoners cannot meaningfully consent to a lot of things.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

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SalmonGod

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5900 on: May 20, 2013, 12:17:48 am »

Yeah.  I think we'd probably all agree that the real problem is we're instituting threat of punishment for behaviors that are the result of other failings in society.  Majority of parents don't get as much time with their kids as they really need for healthy parenting, and school does absolutely nothing to teach or encourage social awareness and responsibility (like teaching about consent).  And then there's so little support for people who become damaged as a result.
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In the land of twilight, under the moon
We dance for the idiots
As the end will come so soon
In the land of twilight

Maybe people should love for the sake of loving, and not with all of these optimization conditions.

Scoops Novel

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5901 on: May 20, 2013, 01:05:31 pm »

Salmongod, to be honest I'm not sure if the parents would do a better job on that front if they could.
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Owlbread

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5902 on: May 20, 2013, 01:11:13 pm »

My parents taught me quite well about stuff like consent and social awareness, responsibility etc. Much better than I ever got in school at any time of my education. I don't know why you suggest sweepingly that parents wouldn't do a better job on that front if they could, Novel.

Fake Edit: God damnit why do I have to be pageking after saying something that isn't very profound? I'm going to quote Salmongod instead.

Yeah.  I think we'd probably all agree that the real problem is we're instituting threat of punishment for behaviors that are the result of other failings in society.  Majority of parents don't get as much time with their kids as they really need for healthy parenting, and school does absolutely nothing to teach or encourage social awareness and responsibility (like teaching about consent).  And then there's so little support for people who become damaged as a result.
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Scoops Novel

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5903 on: May 21, 2013, 06:54:00 am »

There's a limit to how responsible i expect most adults, including parents, to be. Most do the bare minimum of family and (close) friends, and it is not enough. Tell me when they're acting any better then their children will.
« Last Edit: May 21, 2013, 07:07:01 am by Novel »
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Owlbread

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5904 on: May 21, 2013, 08:14:24 am »

I think we should always give parents a chance to raise their own kids. We should have faith in people. The same argument can be applied to age ratings and such on computer games/films etc. They should be guidelines to help parents understand what they're buying for their kids, not law.
« Last Edit: May 21, 2013, 08:18:50 am by Owlbread »
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Scoops Novel

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5905 on: May 21, 2013, 08:48:18 am »

It will help, yes. I just doubt enough.
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SalmonGod

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5906 on: May 21, 2013, 09:06:04 am »

Enough for what?  I don't really understand the point of what you're saying, in context.  Yeah, there are bad parents.  All I was saying is that it doesn't matter if a parent is good or bad if they aren't allowed time and energy to devote to parenting in the first place, and that they aren't is one factor in the overall point I was making.
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In the land of twilight, under the moon
We dance for the idiots
As the end will come so soon
In the land of twilight

Maybe people should love for the sake of loving, and not with all of these optimization conditions.

Scoops Novel

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5907 on: May 21, 2013, 09:28:32 am »

I'm talking about social awareness and responsibility. Their kids may well be better then they were there, and I'm not particularly sure they'd be the ones I'd praise for it.
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Nadaka

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Dutchling

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #5909 on: May 21, 2013, 02:56:47 pm »

AKA: Don't ever have laws which you don't enforce 100%* of the time.
Justice can't be and shouldn't be arbitrary.

*or 0%, woohoo drug laws

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