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Author Topic: The military system needs shouty NCOs!  (Read 5842 times)

TinyPirate

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The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« on: February 28, 2012, 04:54:57 am »
The one thing the Dwarf Fortress military system is missing is shouty NCOs! I want to promote some old hand, who may be short a hand or two, to pace the barracks shouting at recruits and by shouting, make them better.
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Garath

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2012, 04:58:00 am »
(top of voice) "Stop hanging around and grab your gear! You! What's that! Give me that ale, you can drink later! Weapons up and attem boys! Urist! I catch you napping during sparring practise one more time and I'm gonna kick you inna fork so hard you piss through your mouth! What was it you said! Louder!"

Bomrek McDrillsargeant
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

Vehudur

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2012, 04:59:47 am »
Quote from: Garath on February 28, 2012, 04:58:00 am
(top of voice) "Stop hanging around and grab your gear! You! What's that! Give me that ale, you can drink later! Weapons up and attem boys! Urist! I catch you napping during sparring practise one more time and I'm gonna kick you inna fork so hard you piss through your mouth! What was it you said! Louder!"

Bomrek McDrillsargeant

It's missing every other to every third word being some vulgarity.  Otherwise, pretty close.
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Quote
...and a third died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.

I used to have an avatar, but I was told to remove it after it kept making people go insane.

Garath

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2012, 05:06:46 am »
Quote from: Vehudur on February 28, 2012, 04:59:47 am
Quote from: Garath on February 28, 2012, 04:58:00 am
(top of voice) "Stop hanging around and grab your gear! You! What's that! Give me that ale, you can drink later! Weapons up and attem boys! Urist! I catch you napping during sparring practise one more time and I'm gonna kick you inna fork so hard you piss through your mouth! What was it you said! Louder!"

Bomrek McDrillsargeant

It's missing every other to every third word being some vulgarity.  Otherwise, pretty close.

I know, wanted to keep it slightly family friendly so the people who actually believe a 10 year old doesn't know all those words already, even if not the exact meaning, don't get offended.
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

Mitchewawa

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2012, 05:21:35 am »
Quote from: Vehudur on February 28, 2012, 04:59:47 am
Quote from: Garath on February 28, 2012, 04:58:00 am
(top of voice) "Stop hanging around and grab your crundle! You! What's that! Give me that crundle, you can drink later! Crundles up and attem boys! Urist! I catch you napping during crundle practise one more time and I'm gonna kick you inna fork so hard you piss through your crundle! What was it you said! Louder!"

Bomrek McDrillsargeant

It's missing every other to every third word being some vulgarity.  Otherwise, pretty close.

Fixed.

Oh the horrific memories...
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TinyPirate

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2012, 06:00:08 am »
Being shouted at should give the soldiers a brief speed and awesomeness boost, depending on the fearsomeness of the NCO (based on kills, wounds and size).

"hurry up you lot! I've had multiple orgasms quicker than this!" (no, it made no sense to me at the time either...)
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imperium3

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2012, 06:37:00 am »
On a tiny bit more serious note, it would be nice to appoint a handful of dwarves as training instructors, who help other squads to train without being part of them.

Like now, I have one of my hammerlords in the marksdwarf squad in order to train them up in close combat, and it would be nice to order them into battle without risking the hammerlord being headshotted every time.
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Quote from: Niyazov on May 12, 2012, 11:59:06 am
Socks inspire the same sort of emotions in dwarfs that Helen of Troy inspired in the Achaean Greeks. Although it is said that Helen's face launched a thousand ships, socks have surely launched a million ultimately-fatal Store Owned Item tasks.

dragoncurse

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2012, 07:16:34 am »
Steel Armored Jacket? LOLWUT
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:3

Urist McGyver

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2012, 07:24:44 am »
This is my beard! There are many like it, but this one is mine!
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Quote from: Gizogin on March 07, 2012, 12:02:30 am
It's treated as completely normal because this is Dwarf Fortress.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with a wall of flames, only to later realize that you're surrounded by a wall of flames.
There's nothing that can't be solved by hurling fifteen roc birds at it.

FrisianDude

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2012, 08:53:43 am »
Only steers and queers come from Sibreklecad and you don't look like no steer to me boy.
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A tiny, foul-tempered humanoid creature that dwells in the evil mountains. They are known to enjoy drinking liquor and will take any unguarded supplies of booze.

Urist McGyver

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #10 on: February 28, 2012, 09:14:18 am »
-I don't know but I've been told
-I don't know but I've been told
-Mountainhomes anvils are made of gold
-Mountainhomes anvils are made of gold
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Quote from: Gizogin on March 07, 2012, 12:02:30 am
It's treated as completely normal because this is Dwarf Fortress.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with a wall of flames, only to later realize that you're surrounded by a wall of flames.
There's nothing that can't be solved by hurling fifteen roc birds at it.

Kylarus

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #11 on: February 28, 2012, 11:20:13 am »
That would be amazing. A Drill Sergeant wandering the halls. Hell, I'd label each of the workshops as a barracks if it meant they'd attract his attention.
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Quote from: Friendstrange on August 01, 2012, 08:58:29 pm
You mean the ability to have endless training dummies, a carpet of eyestalks and tendrills, and a plant that both makes for some good grizzled sea man hard liquor AND the ability to turn your dwarves into the Night´s Watch...not reward enough?

Old Greg

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #12 on: February 28, 2012, 11:37:46 am »
Maybe they'd finally stop taking breaks for months at a time. Then again...


"Urist, are those... live metal bolts? Menacing with spikes of pangolin bone?"
"Seven-six-two millimeter. Full, metal, quiver."
Urist McPyle has thrown a tantrum!
« Last Edit: February 28, 2012, 11:39:32 am by Old Greg »
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Diamond

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #13 on: February 28, 2012, 11:42:54 am »
Isn't this what an appointed position of Champion is for?

Quote
The champion is a noble position appointed by the Baron (that is, you can appoint it, but you can't do so without a baron or greater noble being present). A champion has no special room requirements, but may make a single demand eventually. As the title of champion is now bestowed by appointment rather than merit, you may want to have your best teacher be the champion and conduct weapon demonstrations to boost the morale of training soldiers while your toughest killers go out and fight goblins.
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Urist McGyver

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Re: The military system needs shouty NCOs!
« Reply #14 on: February 28, 2012, 01:32:34 pm »
Quote from: Diamond on February 28, 2012, 11:42:54 am
Isn't this what an appointed position of Champion is for?

Quote
The champion is a noble position appointed by the Baron (that is, you can appoint it, but you can't do so without a baron or greater noble being present). A champion has no special room requirements, but may make a single demand eventually. As the title of champion is now bestowed by appointment rather than merit, you may want to have your best teacher be the champion and conduct weapon demonstrations to boost the morale of training soldiers while your toughest killers go out and fight goblins.

It doesn't spring the happy thought "Was shouted by a DI latelly".
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Quote from: Gizogin on March 07, 2012, 12:02:30 am
It's treated as completely normal because this is Dwarf Fortress.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with a wall of flames, only to later realize that you're surrounded by a wall of flames.
There's nothing that can't be solved by hurling fifteen roc birds at it.
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