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Wait for the next release. I want usable mugs damn it!

55 (71.4%)

We can use the current one. I like the big trees and slightly smarter dorfs.

17 (22.1%)

I'll take .34.11 thanks. I want to know I'll get to kill things for sure.

5 (6.5%)

Total Members Voted: 77

[Talvieno]

Ah. Yeah, that happened in Deathgate too.

I spent so much time reforming the layout of the base and defences in hell, set up a proper front gate with 300 masterwork adamantine spikes with masterwork mechanisms, a functioning archery range with a set of fortifications and moving the entirety of the military from the surface to hell. Trying it out, I killed 4 demons with only one casualty (to this day is the best kill to death ratio in the entire fortress). I just didn't get enough time to link up all of the spikes, so I set out specific instructions to do it.

The first thing the next guy does is build a dining room/statue garden outside my front gate, getting like 20 dwarfs killed. He ends up building in the way of my fortifications, rendering them useless. Also forgets to link up the spikes, so a few demons get in and cripple the military. When a few flying demons sneak in through a hole someone made in the side of the base (you know, for garbage disposal), the entire military was decimated and we lost the hellbase.

 

Hmm... I guess it would be worthwhile to point out that this is Spearbreakers... We don't have the time to pass the linking of the traps to the next player. It doesn't take a statue garden outside the gate to let invaders in, and it doesn't take building in front of fortifications to make them useless. If we ever get a real necro siege and they get into an area with spawn parts, we either turtle or we're screwed. And now there's THIS new terror to deal with... I have no idea what a spawn lady is, but I would really, really like to know what it is, and how to defeat it to try to (hopefully) allow Sus to save the fortress. lol

Also, I may read Deathgate now. But that's offtopic.

And finally...

... urgent-Defcon1-calamity situations ...

Or, as the dwarves of Spearbreakers call it, Thursday.

This is gold,

So, uh... how screwed are we? Relative to our usual level of screwed-ness, I mean.

Tell me what a spawn Lady is and and I'll tell you how screwed we are.

this is gold,

By the way, WHAT IN ALL THE SIX-HUNDRED-AND-SIXTY-SIX MILE STRETCH OF THE PHLEGETHON IS A LADY OF THE SPAWN?!

It's obviously Spawny, now queen and come to negotiate a peace treaty. Let her in, oh wise one

I, uh... Already did. Thankfully spring came before she killed everyone, thus making it officially Sus' problem.

I knew I shouldn't have posted that comment about Draig having things "under control"...  D:
Do we, uh, have any semblance of a useful military at all?

and this is adamantine. This last especially when coupled with:

I think he actually may not have gotten around to linking up all of the spikes, which would mean that our fortress is currently being defended by a bunch of really pointy lawn ornaments.

AND AN EDIT TO TOP IT ALL OFF:
Draignean, I looked through the raws, and I can't find "Lady of the Spawn" anywhere... My best guess is that it's simply a human-style lady/lord-ranked spawn... which could prove deadly, yeah. If they act like goblins, killing her may make the other spawn hang around for a bit...   Yeah, we're screwed. Sus is going to have a Fun turn. I hope this doesn't kill the fort. We may have to simply wall off the infected dwarves and hope for the best, if it's as bad as it sounds... I'm going to guess an 8 on the "Holy carp, we're screwed" scale... My suggestion would be to throw EVERYONE at the spawn, all at once. They can't bite more than one person at a time, and dwarves will have the (hopeful) advantage of numbers. I just wish we'd had a chance to equip everyone with hammers first... When you're ready, upload the save and post or PM me a link, and I'll get it up.

[Draignean]

It's just Spawn, subscript Lady. It's also bright pink as opposed to grey.  Lady Of The Spawn was just a way to put it that sounded more epic, not that a bright pink spawn arriving with her retinue of normal spawn needs much more evil epic.

EDIT: I'm in a break between classes and my notes are on my computer, otherwise I'd be working on the turn now.

Does anyone want a teaser image when I get home?

[Terrahex]

Yes we would like the image. If we die, will we reclaim?

[Talvieno]

It's still evil-epic - it's wiping out half our fortress. How's that for evil-epic? (we seriously need to kill the thing)
Yes, teaser image please... Though I'm almost afraid to look. 

Terrahex - Splint has been pretty adamant about no reclaim. I think he would've ended the fort if it had fallen during my turn (I inadvertently made it look like I did through delayed posts). Mr Frog and I have convinced him to let us savescum if someone ruins the fort through their own "poor judgement" (for example, if someone caves in the dining hall on itself with all the dwarves inside), but I don't know if he'd consider this so much poor judgement as a horrible, bloody end. Sus has a lot on his shoulders. =P I'll be eagerly awaiting his post-Easter return. Right now I'm just biting my nails (figuratively speaking) waiting for the update.

You're doing great, Draig - I'm sure there wasn't much that could be done. Can't wait for the teaser pic.

[Mr Frog]

I think that whatever thought process which resulted in the Spawn apparently being able to gain access to the Spiky Catwalk of Love and Abandonment before it was completed and thus use it as a convenient shortcut when we have a perfectly-good drawbridge to turtle like cowards behind would qualify as poor judgment :p

I'm having too much dang fun to stop with this, horrible death of everyone in the fortress be damned. If reclaim isn't an option, then we'll just start a new fort with maybe slightly-toned-down Spawn Spawnitis-oozing Spawn that spit radioactive slade mugs with laser-like precision over a distance of 500 Urists!!! CARNAGECARNAGECARNAGE

Mr Frog Spishabtham, Mechanic has been possessed!

[Splint]

For reclaim: This place need to go down absolutly positivly kicking and screaming with no hope of any survivors. And by that I mean a trail of blood and gore leading from the breach to whever the final stand took place, not all of it dwarven. So if at all necessary, if you need to Sus, make everyone cut and run to the caverns and seal the way behind you. As long as you bombzero and rodge have picks you'll be able to keep the survivors safe.

If it goes under due to poor judgement that contradicts epicness (accident with the dining hall, tantrum spiral cause someone didn't have pants or soemthing stupid like that) then there are 2 options:

Savescum so the rest of us get our turns, or go to the plans I have for another fortess..... radioactive plans.

Radioactive plans with an arsenal of chainsaw/mug-based weaponry combined with a doom gun that takes nightmarish amount of parts and time to make, and honest to armok hand-held serrated disc launchers. And space invaders. And 7 foot tall lizard-dog men with steel making skill and a temper to match any badger or wolverine.

[Talvieno]

I'm not giving up on Spearbreakers just yet. The cavy warriors will come!!!!


...Somewhat more realistically, as long as we get all the dwarves attacking at once, we have a chance. I think. Nah, of course we'll make it. How could Spearbreakers die so soon???

Then again, we're making the assumption that the fort is already more than halfway to screwed. If its not, and we're getting a little poetic exaggeration from Draignean (like the Lady of the Spawn deal (which, honestly, wasn't that far removed from the truth... ))... we might have a little more of a chance than we think.

Either way, we can always use the Spearbreakers warcry.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

HOLY SHIT!!!!! comes the cry, and the dwarves charge boldly into battle. or... haphazardly and chaotically, rather... or they're all on break... ehhh, it's hard to count on dwarves... Especially ours... it's more than possible they're running the wrong way - intentionally. They've done it before.

Honestly, it might be more fun just to say "we're screwed" over and over until we get that update and get proven otherwise. (we'd better get proven otherwise)

[Splint]

The battle cry of Spearbreakers varies from foe to foe of course.

Human enemies: We shall make the tall ones short! (Effectivly saying they'll slice the humans' legs off)
Elves: With charcoal we forged these blades! And with them we slay you! (referring to blatent destruction of trees to make arms and armor.)
Goblins: You may be old, but you're still childeren to us! (ironically mocking the much longer lived goblins and thier habits.)
Mountain barbarians: Your hide is black as coal, but your blood is still red! (the barbarians may be fearless and such, but they still bleed like any other.)
Spawn of Holistic: Pudor tua mater! (loosly translated from latin as litarally "FUCK YOUR MOTHER" intended as a glaring insult directed at Holistic herself.)

[Draignean]

Sorry it took so long to get the teaser out, helping a friend with some of his Trig.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

    Dwarf Date 203.12-20 It would appear a might force of spawn has arrived at our doorstep. My dwarf sense combined with the shrieking of the kiwi inside of Mr Frog's device (The droppings from the Emu that was originally in the device were generating too many complaints) have detected the presence of sixteen spawn, one of which is colored unusually -a daring pink look, not my personal taste, but one has to admire a spawn with a sense of style- and keeps gibbering commands to the others.



    Mr Frog keeps swearing about the unusual spawn, mostly using words that I have, quite frankly, never heard before. This seems to indicate that HE has been the one stealing and consuming my calendars, probably part of some dastardly plot to wrest control back from me by taking all of my best words! I'll show him though, I've decided to test the bridgey-stab-fall thing I've had Mekkia design. I've decided to test it right now.
   Mr Frog was as enraged as I had anticipated when I told of my plans, (proving that he has been planning to depose me all along, and steal Felicity too!) stating that the plan was a ridiculous, I was ridiculous, and that he needed a drink. He might have also said some other things dear journal, but I don't want to repeat them in front of Felicity.

   I know I'm in the right, and when Mekkia told me that she didn't think this plan was wise, I had only one thing to say.
"Mekkia, the last thing we need in the face of a score of ravening spawn is your 'I don't think that's wise' attitude, now open the tunnel to that bridge thing that you probably built."

 

EDIT: 2/3rds down with the write-up by bulk.

[Talvieno]

Wow. Just wow. lol     

Mr Frog - is it possible that it's a human Lady that turned into a Holistic Spawn during worldgen?

so are we really losing half the fort?  You said teaser, and this definitely teases... It looks like it's already in Mr Frog's old tunnel... how it's there, I have no idea, since you said that you had to dig a new entrance at one point. But that would (I assume) kind of bypass the spike trap in all its gleaming newness.

[Splint]

The syndrome only affects dwarves; the Spawn needed some kind of base to be spawned during worrld gen so they probably took a human/barbarian fortress and moved in.

[Draignean]

Oh, the minor new entrance I dug early in the year just bypassed the bridge that I destroyed in a fit of sock induced ire. Later on the bridge was repaired and the temporary entrance was walled up. The new spiky entrance shall be my permanent contribution to the entrances of spearbreakers.

[Mr Frog]

Quick architectural refresher: the bridge I built was farther to the back.

Spoiler: Visual Aid (click to show/hide)

EDIT: Okiedokie, so it turns out that this isn't remotely as pertinent as I thought. And that I still have zero reading comprehension. So, uh, y'all just keep moseying along, now.

[SolPyre]

I'm still working on that pic. I've done the sketch and am now working on color and depth.
Just the sketch:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Drawing so far:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(I HATE DRAWING HANDS gaaah)

some thoughts to pass the time:
1.I feel like I need to include guts somewhere.
2.He looks too happy.
3.Need to decide what his non-spear hand should be doing. Needs to be something I feel confident I can draw. Right now that hand is a sketch-blob.
4. Add blood.
5. MOAR MUGS
6. And speaking of hands the spear hand needs fixing.
7. Might use some blurring....
8. Where is the evil?
9. Maybe include the back of some heads in the forground (Draig's head +who ever else was there)
10. And what about the background? Did this happen in a jewler's workshopshop and if it did how to draw that, the ASCII is no help....

[Mitchewawa]

I like the boots, but the spear hand (as you said) looks kinda dumb. Perhaps have his other hand bashing another dwarfs face off with a mug?