Yeah, sorry, the last time I was able to play my net went tits up without warning.
Still would have appreciated warning before the season started, but erh.
"Oh fuck, they have how much inducccccementsss!?"
930,000 is a lot of gold. Almost enough to buy a team, in fact. Without two of the heavy-hitters still recovering from the beatdown last season, the Stormers are in for a lot of hassle against a team hard to put down and adept at stoping the most nimble of skinks in their tracks with a stubborn, well-placed boot.
Not the most desirable of matchups, team value or not.
Nonetheless, the Breakers' coach picks up a Wizard, a wandering Halfling cook determined to throw the Stormer's game off, a pair of dubious bonedoctors and enough drugs to fuel the Chaos Cup. The Breakers lose the toss and the sahagin side elect to receive, staring down the massed lines of dwarves ready to boot the ball off the line. The smells distract the lizard side, certainly, but not enough for the crowd not to bolster their resolve back up as the ball lands safely in the middle of the skink backline.
Takk opens the preceedings with a shove to Ivefan, a Blitzer, while the other sauruses follow up with little effect. Tyrr, now taught in the forbidden art of passes, scoops up the ball and hands to Garr, who sprints off upfield, the combined arms of Nirr, Weyy and Irzz covering his escape. The curiously named Burning Pet shuts him down with a sprint, though, a hesitant block forcing him to redouble his efforts in knocking the skink to the floor, while Nirr similarly ends down in the astrogranite, stunned from a smack by Ivefan.
Takk wrenches away from Ivefan and leaves his teammate on the floor, but in doing so drops Burning Pet with a solid thump. Tyrr runs up to guard the ball, but Garr scrambles up, regains his claws on the ball, and scores rather handily for the skink side.
Unperturbed, the dwarves line up for the second drive, with the added advantage that they're receiving this time. The rather classic Full Frontal Brutality, pioneered by the Khornate side through most of last season, makes itself known, save for a pair of runners ready to catch any balls that may sail their way. The dubiously stinty side display a rare burst of agility, though, catching the saurus side flat-footed and closing on the line of lizards. In the intermission made by Kaian-A-Coel fumbling the pickup into the stands, the dwarven wizard hurls a fireball that puts rookie Tezz out of the match. Takk punishes the flagrant display of pyrotechnics by smashing Girlinhat to the ground, putting him out of the game for good, but making a desperate dive for the other side of the field, Novv gets brought down by Urist McDorf.
Kaian and Burning Pet both waddle ball-wards, while Urist similarly punishes Sorr for standing in the middle of the pitch. Between the sheer mass of bodies bulkier than they are tall, most of the skink side find themselves hemmed in, without much in the way of escapes. Urist goes down hard, and frees up the team some, but Nirr gets knocked out with a solid thump to join Tezz on the sidelines. Greatorder moves to shutdown Tyrr the Slipstreamed, and the rest of thedwarves look to make life hard, but Kaian picks up the ball and thrusts it into the meaty hands of Burning Pet, running down towards the mass of muscle. An attempt to consilidate goes cloaca-up as Garr, moving to support Tyrr in a tackle 0on Burning Pet, trips over his own ornametation and makes himself look like an utter idiot, prompting the rest of the team to re-think his appended title, "the Surefooted". Because he's not. Not even close.
Tyrr, having watched Garr fall face-first and hissed a sigh of frustration as a result, pays for his lack of attention with a punch that leaves him unconscious to be hauled off the pitch. The rest of the dwarves hem in the skink side, rapidly dwindling in conscious teammembers. Takk manages to slip away and drop Burning Pet, however, the ball skittering into the spot surrounded by players on all sides. The outnumbered skinks consolidate, crowding around to prevent the dwarves from laying a finger on it. At least, immediately. LoSBoccacc smashes into Ravv, sending the ball bouncing first to Japa, and then Weyy, who catches it. Japa promptly punches Weyy hard and the ball bounces some more, skittering to the dwarven side as Urist fractures Sorr's leg.
With the muscle of Takk and Mejj clearing the way, Weyy manages to lay a finger, and then a full on pair of claws, to the ball, aiming to hurl the ball towards Novv, but instead merely dropping it to beside his feet. Ivefan smashes him down and recovers the ball with time ticking away. takk scrambles for a break to shut Ivefan down, but manages little more than a shove to send him back. His efforts are, rather predictably, for naught as Ivefan runs the ball in as the time ticks away.
Tyrr remains unconscious, and the skinks remain undermanned with a situation that has come up in every Nuffle-damned match they've ever played in, the crippling lack of muscle that had plagued them last season proving its annoyance once more. Once more the tantalising smells distract the skinks. Irzz and Mejj are the first to go down, Irzz getting a stun for his troubles. The dwarves start to set up a box once more, knowing they can easily beat the lizards in a direct conflict of attrition. Not that they even let it get that far - Mejj gets knocked out under the weight of dwarves, while Garr and Nirr end up down. Burning Pet drives the boxforward, and given the lack of mobility on offer between tackles and a lack of agility, the skinks can't get anywhere, leaving the sum total of four lizards to slow them down. Not that it matters, as the way is rather mercilessly cleared for Burning Pet.
Novv manages to defy all expectation and smash Burning Pet to the ground, fracturing his skull with a wild lunge, but a scrambling Weyy manages to fumble the ball, leaving it for him and Nirr to guard, even as dwarves surround the group. For all the good the last-ditch defence does, Girlinhat manages to recover the ball and score despite the injury earlier.
The weather changes from bright sunshine to bright sunshine, and the skink drive starts with the sole chance being brought down in a flurry of skulls and blocks, and Vattic capitalises enough to hand off to Ivefan. The Wizard, obviously elated and rather drunk at the fact the team he was hired by is winning, ends up taking offence to a spike jutting out the ground and fireballing it. In response, the combined muscle of Irzz, Weyy and Novv is enough to bring down Ivefan, but the ball doesn't move particularly far, and the skinks can't capitalise on the effects. Weyy ends up looking dead after Girlinhat mistakes him for a troll, but the skink bonedoctor manages to patch him up and haul him off before the rest of his team get a chance to snack on him.
In response to the almost-fallen skink, Vorr shoves Urist down for Takk to smash Urist, freeing the ball and sending it bouncing to Garr. Tyrr scrambles up for the potential in a last-minute play, but odds look low as Irzz stumbles moving around to support. It takes the combined efforts to bring down Garr. Forsaken recovers the ball, but fumbles the pass, sending it bouncing around to land in dwarven hands. Mejj fails to make good on a last-ditch effort, and the score stays 2-1 to the dwarves. Not... exactly an unexpected outcome.
Tezz ends up MVP for the Stormers for eating a fireball and running around screaming before the flames died down, and Kaian-A-Coel for managing to hand off successfully.
(... I fucking hate dwarves. Especially when I'm down two sauruses. Hard counters fucking suck.
... Maybe I should bite the bullet and buy a Krox to stand there like an idiot.)
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Topic: Bay12 Blood Bowl League - Season 14 Signup - TT S6, SF (Read 261117 times)