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[Jartol]

I'm not really sure what to make of this game. Casualties doing me in? Being distracted by the internet? Not thinking through my moves? Anyway you cut it, I collapsed at the end, and am lucky to have taken a draw. Next week looks even more daunting.

I look forward to playing you again in week 11, Charmander. I also find your game recaps quite amusing.

[Kanil]

Match validated, week advanced.

Matchups for week four.
monk12 - Monk's Marauders vs warhammer651 - Earth Strikers
Burnt Pies - Brunch's Big Bads vs ndkid - Kobb's Khorne
ank - w00t w00t vs Jartol - Manner Pylon
Charmander - Sahagin Stormers vs Kanil - Self Inflicted

Best of luck.

[ndkid]

Match validated, week advanced.

Matchups for week four.
monk12 - Monk's Marauders vs warhammer651 - Earth Strikers
Burnt Pies - Brunch's Big Bads vs ndkid - Kobb's Khorne
ank - w00t w00t vs Jartol - Manner Pylon
Charmander - Sahagin Stormers vs Kanil - Self Inflicted

Best of luck.

Hey, Kanil, are you *sure* you advanced the week?

[ndkid]

Week 4: Brunch's Big Bads v. Kobb's Khorne

The orcs hire a HMC, buy beer, and get a point of STR for one of their players.

Khorne elects to kickoff.

B1: Khorne lines up in FFB. BBB leeches one reroll from Khorne, and get another from the kickoff. A goblin picks up the ball. The troll pushes the minotaur at the center of the lines.

K1: The Khorne line knocks over every orc on the line (but not the Troll). A blitz on the edge knocks over the goblin. TAB picks up the ball despite the troll standing beside it.

B2: The troll knocks over TAB, leaving the ball in the hands of an orc lineman, who runs toward the edge.

K2: The minotaur's attempt to blitz the lineman with the ball ends with him peeing on his own leg. Tail falls over trying to block an orc and kills himself despite intervention from the apoc.

B3: The troll knocks himself over trying to block a beastman.

K3: The ball carrier gets knocked over. TAB runs over, picks the ball up, and tosses it to NATAB, who runs it toward the sideline. The minotaur runs the goblin over.

B4: A blitzer manages a last-ditch blitz on NATAB, killing him. The ball is tossed from the stands back toward midfield, where another blitzer picks it up.

K4: Thor blitzes the ball carrier, knocking him over and picking up the ball.

B5: The blitzer stands up and knocks Thor over, picking up the ball himself.

K5: TAB knocks the blitzer over. The crowd tosses the ball deep into Khorne territory. Soft-Hands runs toward it, but that'll take a while. The minotaur knocks the goblin out of the game (and off the pitch).

B6: Orcs stand up and throw blocks.

K6: TAB runs back and tosses the ball to Soft-Hands, who runs it forward.

B7: Two blitzers converge on Soft-Hands, knocking him over. The troll continues a run of being stupid.

K7: With several blocks, one of the newer beastmen manages to pick up the ball and run it downfield.

B8: A blitzing lineman only manages to push the ball carrier back.

K8: The ball carrier pushes the orc beside him back, and just barely manages to sprint into the end zone before the halftime whistle.

Halftime Score: Kobb's Khorne 1 - 0 Brunch's Big Bads

K9: TAB goes back to receive the kickoff. The chef fails at his job. The touchback leads to the ball in Speedy's hands. After several blocks, the line of the orcs falls, and Speedy runs to greet his friends at midfield.

B9: A blitz knocks over Speedy, but the goblin muffs the pickup.

K10: The minotaur injures a black orc. The ball ends up in the hands of another orc after bouncing around a bit. That orc gets mostly surrounded, with a chaos warrior falling over filling a gap.

B10: The troll returns to being stupid.

K11: Lots of blocks, with the ball ending up beside the orc thrower.

B11: The thrower picks the ball up and runs toward the sideline with the troll. A beastman gets knocked out.

K12: The goblin is reinjured. A blitz of the thrower leads to the ball falling into Soft-Hands' clutch.

B12: An orc knocks himself out blitzing.

K13: Soft-Hands rumbles his way into the end zone.

B13: Khorne only has 10 men to field. Perfect defense at least lets them pull toward the side the ball was kicked to. A goblin picks the ball up and starts to run it forward.

K14: Khorne controls the front line, and gets three players beside the goblin with the ball.

B14: The goblin dodges away toward the opposite sideline. TAB gets knocked out.

K15: In retaliation, a warrior knocks out the orc thrower. A beastman blitzes the goblin and picks up the ball. Speedy gets over as a lead blocker.

B15: Some movement.

K16: The ball is handed to Speedy, who runs it in.

B16:

Final Score: Kobb's Khorne 3 - 0 Brunch's Big Bads

Thoughts: This was a pyrric victory, to be sure. Losing Tail was a minor blow; losing NATAB was far worse. He's been a major part of the offensive strategy of the team, and just any old beastman with three arms won't fill the same roll. I was lucky to get the +1STR early in the life of the team, and it's unlikely I'll see that luck again anytime soon.
Still, to look on the bright side, there were lots of SPP from this match, and this will greatly reduce my team's value, which means I won't be facing as many shenanigans from opposing teams in the future.


Of course, NATAB should be posthumously entered into the B12BB Hall of Fame. At the time of his death, he had the most SPP in the league, was 2nd on the lifetime TD sheet (behind a wood elf catcher... no shame being down 1 TD to him!), and top of the receptions list. He was also 2nd in the league in lifetime casualties. In terms of embodying the prototypical blitzer, capable of both scoring points and kills, he was the best.

[Charmander]

"How many timessss are we going to have to hit them to make them sssstay dead?"

Count Luthor von Drakenbourg is part of the line up for this game. The skinks are evidently having to face teams bringing in experience from outside to make up the difference. The undead side nonetheless win the toss, electing to kick first. The ball sails high, but Rijj can't get his claws to the ball and it bounces just before him. Jarr opens with an early thrall KO, which Mejj follows with a sharp elbow-drop to take out Lee, but Novv stacks it and splits his head open moving to cover, putting himself out of the rest of the match. The undead response is mostly defensive, moving back and tying up the less agile sauruses. Rijj makes a grab for the ball, but the accurate pass bounces off Nirr's facemask, his attention diverted by the vampire eyeing him menacingly, and the ball scatters.

Shin hypnotises Nirr, leaving him rather quiet for the time being, but Ku's hunger takes him off the pitch in search of a spectator snack. In the meantime, Lee dodges around the field with shoves, keeping the ball guarded, but ends up surrounded by blue scales. Skinks get shoved around as most of the players focus heavily on the left hand side of the pitch. A failed dodge from Weyy leaves him hurting, and the Stormers floundering. Lee slips forward to grab the ball, before decking Vorr in the face and moving down, in range... should he sprint. Or should Takk not shove Park out of the way and bring him down with a heavy thump. The ball goes dead, far from safe, but with a wealth of skinks in the way.

Count Luthor takes time from his busy schedule to punch Rijj offpitch, while Shin settles on hypnotising Nirr. Lee jumps up, and thanks to that distraction, collects the ball with little worry, escaping in range of the endzone once more. The Count goes down for a second time, seeing four! Four stars, a-ha-ha-ha, leaving Takk to shove Lee away. Too little, all things considered, as Lee keeps hold of the ball, and an easy escape route with the right shoves. Shin takes the time to hypnotise Takk before feasting on a thrall, letting Lee slip through the dazed saurus' clutches and score.

The next Vampire lick off leaves Self-Inflicted to perfect their line up, but the lizardman run falters almost immediately as Vorr is wrestled down by Park, who receives a claw to the face as he goes down, leaving him injured. Mazz is left unconscious as he gets unceremoniously shoved off-pitch, and all the lizards can do is secure and delay in an attempt to stave off a last-minute touchdown from the vampire side... which fails to materialise thanks to that unending thirst for blood, and leaving the scoreline 1-0 at half-time.

The new half sees the skink kickoff, each side's fans cheering well enough to bolster each side. The initial drive goes well, making a mess of the lizardman line of scrimmage, with Ku collecting the ball rather easily. The skinks reply with a little shoving, the tactic seeming to be the need to shut down the agile, tough vampires... but standing better than the average saurus, that proves to be predictably difficult. Rijj goes down with a kick to the snout, delivered by ball-receiving Lee, who heads downfield, thrall in tow. Vorr joins him, smacked into unconsciousness. With nine lizards on-field, the skinks scramble to defend, the charging Takk managing to bring down Lee at the very least.

A shove to Rexx leaves him stumbling over the ball, knocked skittering into the crowds. The crowd lobs it down beside the skink endzone, but Rexx follows suit, the crowd deciding they'd rather not toss an angry saurus back onto the pitch. Tyrr the Slipstreamed takes advantage, slipping forth to pick up the ball, but fumbles the pass despite his own rather dextrous claws, leaving him look like the runt that bought lettuice to Dirr's barbecue way back when. Various hypnoses later, Count Luthor collects the ball, within spitting distance of the endzone. Four skinks descend on him, Garr, Ravv, Tyrr and Nirr all looking to bring him down, but only helping him out in the end. Invv tries to join the fray but is bought down easily. Takk is shoved off-pitch and KO'ed by an irate ogre spectator, while Garr goes down hard himself, out for the remainder of the match. Count Luthor slips away to hand off to Park, rapidly boxed in.

Jarr, however, brings him down, sending the ball off-pitch once more, the crowd throwing it right in the lizardman endzone. Needing to clear the ball immediately, Tyrr recovers, handing off to Ravv nimbly who jets off upfield, dazed thralls well in range of making a mess of his day. Unsurprisingly, he gets hammered by a trio of thralls, Lee the Thrall recovering easily. Invv takes a serious concussion that marks the end of his career as much other than fodder... but in turn Mejj snaps Ku's ribs, although he is soon patched up enough to merely be badly injured by the apothecary.  Down to four players, Jarr, Mejj, Tyrr and Nirr, the Stormers can do little to halt the vampire advance.

The vampires apparently have plans of their own - Lee the thrall hands off to Shin, who, consumed by bloodlust, puts Kim out of the match and fumbles the pass in the process. In return Mejj stuns him, and then promptly jumps on him until he's unconscious in thanks. Tyrr slipstreams through a trio of tackles, recovering the ball securely, if not safely, Nirr following forth and showing how agile stunties truly are for once in their lives in an attempt to prevent a second touchdown. Although there's a good hit on Tyrr that brings him down, Park the Vampire fails to make good on the recovery, leaving the vampires having to settle with a 1-0 win over the skink side. Mejj finishes off by fracturing Park's skull, but the vampire, being a hardy creature of the night, shrugs it off as the match ends.

(... I'm doing something wrong. It was like playing against humans, except thralls were better than skinks, vampires better than sauruses, and hypnotism is incredibly annoying. Four games into the third season and I have exactly one win off my own back, but I'll be fucked if I know why.)

[Kanil]

I think you need more Saurus with block, would help you establish a wall better.

The last 5 turns of the match were just silly. I nearly conceded a draw trying to get someone other than the star player some SPPs for the touchdown, then after managing to stop Charmander's runaway skink, I failed again a couple more times trying to get the ball into the hands of a vampire 1 TD away from levelling. Also, given that there were 4 lizards on the field, there wasn't really much resistance, yet I managed to find a way to fail anyway. Guess I'll have to continue my foolish SPP farming next week.

Koosh lived up to his fail blood lust -> immediately fail next roll habit, which continues to amuse me.

I also managed to forget to advance to the next week, so nobody could play any games. Fortunately enough, Charmander and I had scheduled our game at the same time as ndkid and Burnt Pies scheduled theirs, so when they showed up to play and found they couldn't, I was able to quickly rectify the problem without forcing them to reschedule. So I ended up only looking slightly retarded, instead of completely retarded.

[Charmander]

I don't know... honestly, I think having more than five seems a bit of an issue because it's very easy to run out of skinks, and I need their speed to cover the lumbering sauruses. Especially because with AG1 they get tied up extremely easily, and break tackle isn't all *that* reliable, and still takes up a skill.

And knowing my luck, fielding a kroxigor would lead to constant 1s on the "don't be stupid" role.

[Kanil]

Well, if you don't want to field more Saurus, then you should at least consider getting them block and guard so they're more effective. This makes them better at hitting and harder to hit in return. This will then take pressure off your skinks, as you'll inflict more injuries so the other team has less players to hit your skinks with, and your Saurus will be harder to push out of the way to allow the other team to focus on the skinks.

You may find with 5 block Saurus and several guard ones, that you don't need as many skinks as you used to and can then afford to add the 6th Saurus and perhaps even the Kroxigor at a later date.

[Charmander]

... yeah, I suppose. Sometimes I forget the common skills are good a lot of the time. Oh, well.

[ndkid]

Well, if you don't want to field more Saurus, then you should at least consider getting them block and guard so they're more effective. This makes them better at hitting and harder to hit in return. This will then take pressure off your skinks, as you'll inflict more injuries so the other team has less players to hit your skinks with, and your Saurus will be harder to push out of the way to allow the other team to focus on the skinks.

You may find with 5 block Saurus and several guard ones, that you don't need as many skinks as you used to and can then afford to add the 6th Saurus and perhaps even the Kroxigor at a later date.

I think Guard is the real key here, especially against STR teams. If you're not going to take a Krox, you have to have Guard if you want to avoid having your front line knocked down at a whim. You don't need it on ever Saurus, but you probably want it on the majority of them.

[Charmander]

Mmh. I'm debating releasing one or two of my sauruses for a less experienced one, but other than that with a little luck I should get guard or block on two of them within a few games. A lot of my skinks have catch, though, although I've been really unlucky in terms of doubles for some passing skills or Fend. Kind of get a really lousy skill selection.

[Kanil]

I wouldn't fire any of your Saurus, none of them have any "bad" skills that are just wasting your TV. Break tackle's good to have, it's just better as a second/third skill, rather than a first one.

You might consider giving one or two of the break tackle ones wrestle, instead of block though. That would make them less appealing for guard, since they'd spend more time on the floor -- but better at knocking down ball carriers.

[monk12]

Monk's Marauders 2, Earth Strikers 0

It's worth noting that the first battle we played was "why the hell does Monk's connection suck." Fortunately, we got it figured out (not in the "I know what was wrong" sense so much as the "It's working now, roll with it" sense) and got on with the match.

Warhammer spent a little gold on Inducements to try and catch me fightin' dirty, but he picked the wrong guy. Grant Valdred, an otherwise unremarkable Blitzer picked up an extra point of Agility, and the extra gold I got let me give Warhammer some Bad Habits, when he would desperately need that reroll later on.

The dwarves elected to receive, and wound up crowding the line of scrimmage hoping to punch a hole the size of Boatmurdered in my Ogre-less defenses. Since I had neither an Ogre, Thrower, or mercenary replacement for either, I tried to be tricky and control the wings, leaving the LoS populated by useless Linemen. By an astonishing stroke of luck, my kick landed about where I wanted it to- a couple squares off the line of scrimmage in an otherwise underpopulated area. Not only that, but an enraged fan threw a rock at the dwarf lineman on that side of the field, further weakening his position.

Warhammer led off by smashing my front line into the astrogranite, then accidentally pathed a Troll Slayer through the ball, spending a reroll to pick it up to avoid a costly turnover. This unfortunately moved him into my side of the field, and after maneuvering a few other dorfs about suffered a turnover as the other Troll Slayer tried to move into a defensive position. With a bit of strategic pushing, I managed to blitz the ballcarrier, sending him down and bouncing the ball into my territory. I'm a silly person who didn't keep good notes, but I think this was when the Agility-boosted Grant Valdred Badly Hurt the Troll Slayer ballcarrier- either that or in the scuffle that followed, anyway.

Eventually, my Catcher snagged the ball and took off running down the sideline, at which point some surprisingly dodgy dwarves got away from their blockers and blitzed him out of bounds. The ball was kicked into Earth Striker territory, and the few dwarves with move left set up a screen. I extricated the linemen I could, leaving the opposite side of the field empty, and sent them swarming over the screen, but Warhammer beat open a path for his runner. In a bid to take advantage of my lax discipline, the runner sent the ball flying to a lone dwarf on the unprotected side of the field, but my lineman Manfred the Bawler made an excellent leap and intercepted the ball! A bit of violence and blitzing later, and he was in for the score.

We followed much the same forumula for the second kickoff midway through the first half, but this time my kick went a fair way into Earth Striker territory. This gave Warhammer the opportunity to set up a proper screen as he once again smashed my front line. His cage took him to midfield, hoping to cruise through my newly opened center, but some nifty blocking and dodgy Blitzers (and a timely reroll) got plenty of pressure on the ballcarrier. Pressure that was promptly beaten away, leaving the runner to squeeze through an opening and make headway into Marauder territory with a small escort.

This was perhaps the key moment of the game, because in the next turn I managed to finagle my Agility-boosted Blitzer, the Blitzer with Dodge, and a random unengaged lineman into position directly threatening the ball carrier. In doing so, they fractured the arm of Warhammer's Runner, giving me a decisive numerical advantage that would carry me through the match. A brief bit of violence ensued to keep the ball on the ground, allowing the Marauders to take a 1-0 lead into halftime.

The Marauders received to open the second half, facing only 9 dwarves, one of whom was knocked down and KO'd by another enraged fan's rock. 11 v 8 isn't too hard to win; a fair bit of violence ensued to the detriment of the overmatched dwarves, and Grant Valdred made his way to the endzone without much incident. Seeing the match was beyond his reach with little more than 4 turns to play, Warhammer elected to form a defensive ring to avoid further injuries, and I had no desire to breach it.


All in all, a good match that restored some of the confidence I lost after Burnt Pies' Orc team thrashed me. The first half felt rather wacky with all the dodging dwarves who couldn't stay healthy, since that's about the opposite of what I'd expect from a dwarf team. The game could have gone much differently if it weren't for that interception, since I would have been hard pressed to disengage and get some players to that side of the field in time to matter, even if he hadn't caught the ball. I look forward to the rematch.

[ank]

w00t w00t 5 vs 3 Manner Pylons

I don't have time for a long writeup, but suffice to say, Jartol got outElfed.
The first 3 turns were derp, and my Thrower failed to pick up the damn ball twice.

A gutter runner made an Epic dodge for the 3'd skaven goal. he was surrounded but 4 elves, but still managed to dodge away, given his 5 Agility.

[Kanil]

Thanks to everyone for the quick "week". Just four days!

Matchups for week 5:
warhammer651 - Earth Strikers vs ank - w00t w00t
Burnt Pies - Brunch's Big Bads vs Charmander - Sahagin Stormers
monk12 - Monk's Marauders vs Kanil - Self Inflicted
ndkid - Kobb's Khorne vs Jartol - Manner Pylon