So I was crawling around a town after having my back broken by an elephant seal (don't ask) when I decided that I was going to buy a crutch. The first thing that happened when I set foot in the general store was a goblin merchant threatening to kill me. I thought that he was some sort of assassin, and decided that it was time for some assassin outclassin'. He had killed about forty other people, and, being crippled, I blocked the front door with a bonfire and ran. When I came in through the back door, I saw that the two other merchants had beaten him to death. I immediately sold all of his jewelry, except for a masterwork copperhead snake tooth crown, which I decided was badass enough for me to wear. I bought a crutch, and walked to the keep where I saw a very strange sight. There were two humans and a goddamned amphibian man law giver just sitting around. Since the town had an equal number of humans, elves, and dwarves, and even a few animal men, I wasn't surprised until I looked at the names. The amphibian man had a regular name, but the two human's names were written in plain english. They were High Axe and First Light. Upon talking to them, they seemed entirely unremarkable except for their names. The amphibian man, however, proudly boasted about wandering the wilds for six years and killing a whopping 2674 dwarves during that time (and he made an accessory out of each and every one of them). I have decided to call this badass amphibian man Toady One.
If anyone knows why this stuff happens, or has another odd story, please post.