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Author Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued  (Read 248621 times)

Tiruin

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #675 on: November 12, 2012, 11:29:09 am »

((Action comes tomorrow while I plot and scheme. That was epic by the way.))
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #676 on: November 12, 2012, 11:36:48 am »

I will fix this. And that. And that other thing.*

See, this is what happens when you meddle with things you're not supposed to meddle with. I told will tell will have told** you it would happen.

Archimedes notices someone out of the corner of his eye. After hearthly greeting himself, and complaining about the implications of Time travel combined with Quantum physics, he and himself get to work.

Fix everything. (Get clothes, Heal crocket, myself and others),  Deploy laser and several other things.

((*Really people, stop falling apart and stuff.))
**For more information see the Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations by Dr Dan Streetmentioner
Note to self: Don't forget to timetravel back here again. ***
***If this whole thing is impossible, I did run into a tree last turn.

I think I banged my head.
I know how you feel.



Can't we go further back, and erase Schrödinger from existence?
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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #677 on: November 12, 2012, 12:35:49 pm »

Is my status up to date?  I still have the knife, and the segway isn't on cooldown.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

lawastooshort

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #678 on: November 12, 2012, 01:02:28 pm »

Is my status up to date?  I still have the knife, and the segway isn't on cooldown.
Evidently not. Blast. The knife is blacked out as you'll get another at the end of the mission; I just forgot about the segway though.
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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #679 on: November 13, 2012, 09:27:49 am »

"Oh, oh bother. Hugh Grant? I watched your movies on the Bowie Ship's Transdimensional Tellybox back during the intermission! Now you're telling us we gotta take you down? Bother."

Paul notices Davy attempting to slay the foul Dinocat.

"I say, TRIPLE BOTHER! Davy, hold on now, don't be a hero!"

From afar, Paul plays a HEALING DITTY for Davy while looking for another bush to jump behind.
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Tiruin

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #680 on: November 13, 2012, 10:19:18 am »

"Dear me. It's like all my secrets are being unraveled. Unintentionally!

I am sorry, humans. But you have delved into my knowledge for far too long."


[Hidden Action based on response]
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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #681 on: November 13, 2012, 10:58:48 am »

"Regroup, men!"


Fire smoke everywhere!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #682 on: November 14, 2012, 06:14:47 am »

Try to keep control of Terry, aiming towards Dino-Hugh, as before.

"Crikey... sorry, mate, but it's gotta be done!"
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #683 on: November 19, 2012, 10:55:57 am »

TURN FOURTEEN!

Delay-related recap…
Somewhere in the jungle, on a different Earth and in a different Time, Archimedes of Syracuse, Archimedes of Syracuse (or did he just bump his head?), Davy Crockett, Paul McCartney, Steve Irwin on a half-god and, for some reason, three Erwin Schrödingers, are outside Schrödinger’s box filled lair, facing off with Hugh Grant, partially DinoHitler’s mum. Their mission? To assassinate Hugh Grant, and thereby save the other Earth from a nightmare of eternal Evil!



Somewhere in the jungle…


Fix everything. (Get clothes, Heal crocket, myself and others), Deploy laser and several other things.



“Hello there!”

“What?”

“I said hello there!”

“Gosh. You’re me! I… er… the um… er… Blimey, sorry. Felt a bit English for a moment there.”

“Oh come on, we’ve learnt the correct modern phrase for this situation! No need to dither!”

“Ah yes. Crikey, mate!”

“Quite. See, this is what happens when you meddle with things with which you're not supposed to meddle. I told / will tell / will have told you it would happen.”

“What?”

“For more information see the Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations by Dr Dan Streetmentioner.”

“Oh. Right. That. Never got very far with it, I’m afraid. Extremely dull.”

“Now get to work, you’ve got fixing to do, me!”

“What?”

“Oh, come on! It’s only quantum physics mixed with time travel. Piece of cake, what? I say, you’re quite naked. I’d forgotten about that. I mean I was going to forget. Or… blast. Anyway, here, have a new dress. I mean robe. This one’s not made of dinosaur skin, but it still works. I won’t need it where I’m from.”

“Aha. Thanks. You won’t… what? Never mind. Care to lend me a hand?”


Taking time out from their hectic conversation schedule, Archimedes and Archimedes start fixing Archimedes, expertly wrapping a considerable length of bandage around Archimedes’ head and stopping th-

“Blast. Wrong me. I’m not even slightly bleeding, never mind heavily!”

“Oh well, no time to waste! Let’s fix Crockett, you! Me!”

“Jesus!”

“Who?”

“Never mind. What the hell is wrong with this man?”

“Oh. Right. Him. Falling dinonads.”

“Oh yes. I will have forgotten. I am forgetting. I will did… blast. Let’s get the bloody bandage on the right head this time shall we?”


Archimedes and Archimedes just about manage to staunch the flow of blood pouring out of Davy Crockett’s face! And there was much rejoicing!

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Who?”

“Me?”

“What?”

“My laser! Put the damn laser out!”

”Blast. No time now. You know, I think I may have banged my head on that tree back there.”


Try to keep control of Terry, aiming towards Dino-Hugh, as before.



"Crikey... sorry, mate, but it's gotta be done!" shouts Stevo to Hugh Grant as he struggles to keep Terry the Half-God fully wrestled. He charges straight at Hugh Grant atop Terry’s head! He kicks the side of Terry’s head with his heels! But then!

Quote from: The Spirit of Terry, Half-God
Terry uses whatever strength his little arms and might legs can muster to get up off the ground and get Irwin off his bloody head, and DOUBLE TEAM FROGINATOR AND STOMPATRON towards Davy Crockett! And Schrödinger! And, well, pretty much all of them.

“FROGINATORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!” yells Terry, the Half-God. “DAMN YOU, IRWIN! DAMN YOU TO HELL! EAT MY FROGS, SUCKER!”

Contorting in a very strange way which would suggest he is trying to stare at the top of his head, Terry the Half-God suddenly opens his horrible jaws, spewing forth a terrifying rain of mega-frogs!

One evil frog, the size of a small yet vicious poodle, rains directly upwards, landing right in front of Steve Irwin, still atop Terry’s hideous head. It immediately tries to bite Stevo in the face!

Stevo dodges the megafrog, and dodges right off Terry’s head!

He tumbles a thousand feet to the ground, landing next to Hugh Grant on a nearby megafrog the size of a cow.

He slides off and it tries to chew his leg!

Desperately struggling away from the cow-sized frog’s grasp, Stevo looks up to see his companions also beset by a herd of megafrogs!

Paul is being viciously assaulted by a frog the size of a labrador who punches him in the guts! Countering with an overhead blow from his acoustic, Paul McCartney crushes the megafrog to smithereens!

A short distance away stand the three Erwin Schrödingers. A cat-sized frog attacks! And totally rips one of the holographic projections apart! There are now only two Erwin Schrödingers!


Davy, meanwhile, is staring down a frog the size of a small house. A true megafrog. It flashes a vicious claw at his well-toned and naked guts. ‘Tis but a flesh wound! Davy fights back, but, upon reaching for his trusty knife, realises he’s left it in the thousand foot tall megafrog-projecting half-god! Blast!

Archimedes is more fortunate and, expertly taking the pain of his similarly sized megafrog’s uppercut, he smacks the damn frog in the face with the butt of his m60 machine gun! As he spins round to check on his companions, he spots the horrifying sight of Hugh Grant devouring a poodle sized megafrog in one foul bite, the last leg slithering down like a slimy massive green slug.

Joyous at the carnage his megafrog rain is causing, Terry decides to STOMPATRON the puny humans into a sticky mess and promptly falls over dead with severe blood loss! Luckily for all nearby, he only STOMPINATES a thousand foot tall length of jungle in a totally harmless direction!

Hidden action: Catsploitator > Nearest humanoid figure.



"Dear me. It's like all my secrets are being unravelled. Unintentionally!" gasps an increasingly irritated and confused Schrödinger. What are these pesky humans doing here? What on earth is he doing here? These idiots are trying to hurt science!

"I am sorry, humans. But you have delved into my knowledge for far too long. You will have to pay. My science could have removed every last ounce of evil from Hitler’s twisted wart-ridden body, and you have ruined everything! You have created this… this… madness! YOU have created Hugh Grant! YOU! And you shall pay! WITH CATS!"

So saying, Erwin Schrödinger, master of cats, shoots a cat right into Davy Crockett’s face! His recently repaired broken face! It flies off in an arc!

Wound Acquired: Davy Crockett: Severed Face!

Quote from: Edward the Tyrannosaurus Cat
Be confused!



“Chieftess? What happened to you, your Dinosauressness? My God, the fiend who did this to you will pay! But who did this?! You, bowienauts? I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU! I held back my entire tribe from attacking you, and you do this?! Or was it you, box-man? WHAT’S HAPPENING?! WHY!”

Edward the Tyrannosaurus Cat falls to the floor and cries, his face hidden in his ridiculous undersized hands.

Fire smoke everywhere!



"Regroup, men!" shouts Davy Crockett, standing his ground bravely in the face of the megafrog assault and the loss of his face. "Fall back on me!!"

His sight clearly obscured with the blood flowing all over them, he fires half a dozen smoke shells into the ground around his feet, and completely disappears from view. Soon the only trace of him is some rather violent coughing.

From afar, Paul plays a HEALING DITTY for Davy while looking for another bush to jump behind.



"Oh, oh bother. Hugh Grant? I watched your movies on the Bowie Ship's Transdimensional Tellybox back during the intermission! Now you're telling us we gotta take you down? Bother.”

Paul notices Davy disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

"I say, TRIPLE BOTHER! Davy, hold on now, don't be a hero! Quickly, open your ears and your heart, man!"

Davy!
We love you, man!
Davy!
You can get better, yes you can!
Davy!”


From somewhere in the cloud of smoke there is a dull thud. It sounds like… it sounds like the dull thud of a limb hitting the ground!

Wound Acquired: Davy Crockett: Severed Right Arm!

Filled with shame, Paul jumps into a bush, a particularly sharp thorn stabbing his eye out as he lands.

Wound Acquired: Paul McCartney: Stabbed Out Right Eye!


Quote from: Hugh Grant, Dinosaur Chieftess
”I… er… the… um…”



Hugh Grant is confused. He never wanted to be DinoHitler’s mum. But he is! And he will fight with all his maternal instincts to protect his progeny!

But…

Fight his old mucker Stevo? His fellow floppy-hairophile Paul? Can he bring himself to do it? Or will he even have to? Will he just be able to sit and watch his would-be destroyers destroy themselves with music and bushes?

No.

Surely not.

He finishes eating the large frog that has just attacked him and turns his attentions to Steve Irwin.

“Stevo!” he bellows. “I’m sorry.”

Hugh Grant launches his floppy hair directly at Steve Irwin!

Stevo throws himself out of the way, and the hair bounces back off the ground and smacks Hugh in the face!

There’s a sudden and horrible dinosaury roar of anger, and then Hugh Grant clears his throat.

“I… er… the um… er…”

“No, Hugh!”

“I… ah…”

“Don’t do it, Hugh!”

“The… um… really? Hmm…”

“Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

“I… um… the er…!”


Suddenly, driven mad by Hugh Grant’s terrifying English politeness, Steve Irwin charges forward and leaps at Archimedes!

The naked Australian starts wrestling the newly-clothed ancient Greek! Luckily, no one is harmed!

Yet!

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)

VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT:
None.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #684 on: November 19, 2012, 11:09:44 am »

Which right arm?

Also, what effect does the severed face have on DOUBLEARMLEGFACE?  And the facial protection catmask didn't protect me facially?


Also, great turn.  Davy might need a miracle- how much blood loss damage am I looking at taking next turn?
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #685 on: November 19, 2012, 12:06:06 pm »

Which right arm?

Also, what effect does the severed face have on DOUBLEARMLEGFACE?  And the facial protection catmask didn't protect me facially?


Also, great turn.  Davy might need a miracle- how much blood loss damage am I looking at taking next turn?

I and Archimedes could try to help you , or we could both* shoot you with our medicinal arms. It'll either kill or heal you. ((Also, I heard Gods are pretty good with Miracles)).

*Provided there's indeed a timetravelling me, and I'm not hallucinating from hitting my head.
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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #686 on: November 19, 2012, 12:11:15 pm »

Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.




Davy staggered from the blow.  His blood was flowing freely now, and it likely wouldn't be long before he passed out.  Medicine wasn't his thing, but what could he do?  He was safe in smoke, but what if his allies couldn't find him?

Then it hit him.  The artifact from Stalingrad.  It could help.  It must help.  But the consequences were unknown...


Fire the White Speedo at Hugh!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #687 on: November 19, 2012, 12:18:31 pm »

Also, FFS, that was a very disarming song you performed.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #688 on: November 19, 2012, 02:56:38 pm »

These were dire times. Some of his friends were dieing, and Archimedes was just forced to watch. Twice. Not that he was able to see anything, with all the smoke and such.
Archimedes and Archimedes will each move to another side of the smoke cloud. Then they will fire their medical water arms a short distance above the approximate middle of the cloud, hoping to douse everyone inside in magical healing bandages. Or water.

After that I will bandage myself. The right me this time.

Mediarm sprinkler*2 + heal self. Also, double power of maths.
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Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #689 on: December 03, 2012, 02:49:45 am »

Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Tackle Hugh!
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Fate/Stay Night: OOC thread - Serious talk about the canon characters' bisexuality, gravity rape, Noble Phantasm balance, Tiruin's character level of dumbness versus naivete, how sick and tainted my mind is, linguistics and much more.

What more do you need?
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