TURN NINE!
Pick off the DINOcats pestering Edward with a well-aimed salvo of HE shells.
"Arch!" shouts
Davy Crockett.
"I'll get the others! We'll save you!" he reassures, arming his shoulder-turret and sprinting back down the jungle path towards his comrades.
…Accidentally setting it to multi-boom, he plants his feet as soon as he spots the dinocats swarming the fallen figure of Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex and lets loose a well-aimed salvo.
“Boom boom boom!” goes the gun.
“Ha! Damn! Yes!” exclaims Davy.
“Boom boom boom!” goes the gun.
“Bother! Oh! Aha!” shouts Davy.
…When the smoke clears, Davy sees pieces of dinocat dripping from the nearby blackened trees and Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex’s head rise above the outline of scorched grass surrounding him. He calls out to Davy.
“Hey thanks, man, they nearly had me! Oh shit… I think I’m hit…”As Davy gets closer, he spies the horrible truth! Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex’s body has been severed!
Fight off the dinocats!
”Oh well, never mind, eh! I’ve had worse!”Continue the wrestle!
A very short distance away,
Steve Irwin is fighting man-to-man with the heavily bleeding dinocat shaman, Peter. The shaman is terribly wounded in the guts, and Stevo closes in for the kill!
He tries to grab hold of Peter the Dinocat Shaman’s leg to rip it off and club him to death Outback-style,
…but he slips and grabs thin air!
Fighting viciously for his life, Peter the Dinocat Shaman circles round and snarls with anger, rolling a new ball of fur-based energy in his hand and
…blasting a nearby tree to pieces with it!
Slightly disappointed, he lunges with his razorsharp claws for
Stevo’s chest!
…He misses totally, losing his footing, rolling to the side, and nimbly leaping back to his feet just in time to come face to face with a charging
Beatle!
Just then Paul McCartney burst into the scene swinging his CLAYBOARD about his head!
He charges the DINOCAT SHAMAN with his Clayboard!
"Oh bother, bugger off," says
Paul McCartney to the remains of dinocats dripping from his clothes and from the trees.
"Archy's gone! Stevo's locked in combat with a- is that a DINOCAT SHAMAN? Blimey, not again! I'm coming for ya, mate!"Paul McCartney charges towards the thirty foot tall dinocat shaman.
"Man down, I think! It's just us three now, Stevo! What happened to Archy anyway? Bother. Er, take this!" he cries, addressing Peter directly with his typical boldness.
Paul McCartney charges towards Peter the Dinocat Shaman, whirling his CLAYBOARD above his head, bringing it down in a terrifying arc and
…causing a very slight gash in the Shaman’s leg! A very slight scratch even, one might say!
Peter reels backwards from the pain!
Hate being in Non-Euclidian space?
…”Hello? Damn it, this sucks. Hello? Hel-arggggggggg!”Suddenly, just as
Archimedes finishes taking his leather dress off, a dinocat appears out of nowhere,
…scratching him in the guts!
Wound Acquired: Archimedes of Syracuse:
Scratched GutsSorry, I need to do a map. You're all in the same position as before, except Archimedes is in a great big black box up the trail a bit.
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECT:None.
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Level Four Veteran Crocodile Hunter
Status: Naked.
Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate,
Bionic Right Ear.
Wounds: [HP: 100/100]Skills: Croc Wrestler,
Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move,
Croc-rider,
Loads’a blood, mate! Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, Level Four Veteran Beatle
Status: -1 to athletic movement. +1 to impressing the ladies. Covered in blood and sick.
Inventory: Acoustic Guitar,
Speedoguts! Clayboard,
KEYBOARD LEG.
Wounds: [HP:71/75] |
Titanium Guts! |
Right Leg Pimp Limp!Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
That's a Catchy Tun-arrgh!,
Frog Chorus,
Reverse Polarisation,
It’s Getting Better All The Time,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, Level Four Veteran King of the Wild Frontier
Status: Naked. -1 to melee. -1 to legs.
Inventory: Bowie Knife,
Boone,
Facial Protection Catmask,
Miaowskin-facehat, severed left arm (in face),
Doublearmlegface! Fully Automatic Shoulder Mounted Tank Turret,
The White Speedo of Lumithos,
Rocket Mono-Segway.
Wounds: [HP:71/75] |
Severed Left Arm! |
Broken Right Arm! |
Severed Leg!Skills: Crack Shot,
Ohio Leap,
MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT,
Multikilll! You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse, Level Four Veteran Philosopher
Status: Covered in sick. Naked again!
Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit,
M60 Machine Gun,
Medical Water Elemental Left Arm.
Wounds: [HP:74/75] |
Scratched GutsSkills: Multiply This! Literal Mathemagics,
Archimedes Heat Ray,
Hippocratic Oath,
Absent Minded! Edward: 55/100. Severed Leg. Very Heavy Bleeding. Severed Front Leg. Heavy Bleeding. Severed End of Tail. Very Heavy Bleeding. Severed Body. Very Heavy Bleeding.
Peter the Dinocat Shaman: 59/100. Severed Guts. Severe Bleeding. Scratched Leg. Light Bleeding (0/10).
Lone Dinocat: 10/10