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Author Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued  (Read 248574 times)

lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts & DinoHITLER's Mum: Turn Two
« Reply #540 on: September 11, 2012, 08:44:02 am »

TURN TWO!



To Dinosaur Village. Also, ask for tea.


...”I say we go with these noble creatures! Or er, what's left of them.” announces Archimedes of Syracuse, snugly wrapped in his new pterodactyl wing leather dress. “And um… do you have any tea?” he asks as Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex turns to lead the bowienauts to his village.

“No.”

Quote from: Talarion
Ok then.


...In the ensuing stony silence – the silence of rejection, Archimedes notes dejectedly to himself – Steve Irwin, Professional Australian, follows behind his comrades.

He is visibly uneasy in the presence of such a vast reptile as Edward. Every instinct is telling him to jump on the bugger’s head and get his jaws in a ferocious bloody armlock, mate.

Ask permission to DOUBLEARMFACE the dino to make him vomit out the leg so I can put it back.  If denied, just follow him back to his village.

...Up ahead, Davy Crockett sidles up to the massive dinosaur leading the way.

"Don't suppose I could make you vomit up me leg?" asks Davy of Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex. “I er… I was quite fond of it, in a way…”

“Oh yes,” comes the reply. “Terribly sorry. Fire away, and all that!”

“No… er… just, you know… Come closer and…”

“And what?”

“Just look at this!”

“OH JESUS CHRIST!”

There’s a sudden spray of green and rancid carrionsoup that darkens the air, and just as suddenly Davy is smashed to the ground by a violently ejected limb. He picks himself, and his leg, up off the floor and, gritting his teeth to dull the pain, rams the partially digested and horribly disfigured leg into a spare hole in his face.

Item Acquired: Davy Crockett: Doublearmlegface!

“Wait, what? Jesus Christ?”

Quote from: freeformschooler
Right so.


...At the back of the column of hardy spacetime explorers is Paul McCartney, strolling nonchalantly through the leafy jungle, pleased that his powers of peace have saved yet another situation from turning bad. He affectionately taps the guitar slung over his shoulder.

“I know I can count on you, Betsy”, he whispers. “I know I can count on you…”

Suddenly there’s a cry of alarm from the head of the group.

“AMBUSH!”

A vast brontosaurus towers over the bowienauts at the front. In a panic, McCartney swivels round, drawing his guitar and clutching it near with fervent passion as he ends his swivel and comes face to face with a pair of decidedly right-wing looking velociraptors.

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)

VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT:
None.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts & DinoHITLER's Mum: Turn Two
« Reply #541 on: September 11, 2012, 08:56:39 am »

ACH oh right so right the actions and whatnot. I totally forgot about this once again.

"Oh, jolly!" says Paul McCartney. "More of these buggers! Right then, they look a spot hungry, don't think we'll persuade 'em this time."

He thinks once! He considers his options twice! He decides against showing his pimp leg thrice!

"Ah, I've got it. Wild, rowdy beasts, eh? Davy, I do believe this is your field of expertise!"

Paul McCartney clicks his guitar into reverse and strums a REVERSED chord of gentle loving for Davy Crockett!
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts & DinoHITLER's Mum: Turn Two
« Reply #542 on: September 11, 2012, 09:34:47 am »

[Shouldn't DOUBLEARMLEGFACE be on cooldown now?  Also, hurray for getting it back!]


Crockett, feeling rather pleased about being complete again, is rather itching for a fight!

"Let's go, you dino-bastards!"


MULTIKILL fire HE shells at the two velociraptors in front of me!
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts & DinoHITLER's Mum: Turn Two
« Reply #543 on: September 11, 2012, 10:43:29 am »

Ah, the Prehistorics. The days before time. Some of the older philosophers thought that the balance of the elements was not consistent, and that the fire element was more plentifull in the past, which allowed these beast to become as large as they are. I suppose we should test that to further our knowledge.


Multiply this, set up Heat ray
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monk12

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts & DinoHITLER's Mum: Turn Two
« Reply #544 on: September 11, 2012, 12:09:13 pm »

Clever girl...

Greenstarfanatic

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts & DinoHITLER's Mum: Turn Two
« Reply #545 on: September 11, 2012, 12:29:29 pm »

Hopefully this goes on for a LOOOOONG time, so that everyone on the waitlist can join. Or just have everyone spontaneously combust.

Also, would it be generally okay with you if I joined the waitlist at this time?
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts & DinoHITLER's Mum: Turn Two
« Reply #546 on: September 11, 2012, 01:48:56 pm »

Hopefully this goes on for a LOOOOONG time, so that everyone on the waitlist can join.

I hope I manage to keep it going too. So far we are at a little under halfway through the story, as the crow flies.

Also, would it be generally okay with you if I joined the waitlist at this time?

Sure - added to second post.
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Greenstarfanatic

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts & DinoHITLER's Mum: Turn Two
« Reply #547 on: September 11, 2012, 02:23:04 pm »

Name: Elvis Presley
Inventory: Stainless Steel Microphone Stand W/Mic.
Bio: One night, in the middle of his show, Elvis was attacked by an anonymous heckler in the crowd. When the crowd parted to see who the perpetrator was, a lone robot dressed entirely in red and wielding a musket with the Hammer and Sickle on it was standing there. Elvis lunged at the robo-commie, beating it down with his mic stand. Later, as he was relaxing with a nice Fried PB&B sandwich, he was confronted by Bowie, who invited him to come save FREEDOM from Evil Masterminds such as ROBOSTALIN. Remembering the heckler, he graciously accepted.
Skills: Great Fighter with Music, AMAZING sandwich maker.
Weaknesses: Can't stand hecklers, a bit chubby. Okay, really chubby. OKAY, HE WAS HUGE!

This good?

Hopefully this goes on for a LOOOOONG time, so that everyone on the waitlist can join.

I hope I manage to keep it going too. So far we are at a little under halfway through the story, as the crow flies.
Actually, I was thinking you could extend the story to have more EVIL MASTERMIND guys. Maybe in the end Bowie turns on you guys. Or something.
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts & DinoHITLER's Mum: Turn Two
« Reply #548 on: September 11, 2012, 03:21:34 pm »

Character's good - I'll stat and sheet him up when it gets to that point; you'll get a PM with a selection of ability choices.

I don't really want to expand the storyline beyond my initial inspiration for a variety of reasons to do with declining quality and outstaying its welcome. And erm, no way, man. Don't mess with Bowie. His quasi-omnipotent goodness is sacrosanct.


edit: should I apologise to myself for double posting? Anyway. Apologies for being silly. There is a vast backstory to the Timelord.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2012, 03:45:36 pm by lawastooshort »
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Glimpses of the Past
« Reply #549 on: September 11, 2012, 03:43:41 pm »

Another time, another place...

Suddenly he woke up, his crotch bursting with a magnetic intensity. The octopus was still there, in the corner, eyeing him greedily. Hungrily. The apprentice Timelord knew he had seconds to save himself.

He spent one of those seconds wondering why he was entirely naked. He spent the next second mindpowering a skintight suit of shining metallic blue sequins into existence around his lithe and monstrously powerful body. The next second was the last second of the octopus overlord's violent and evil life, as Bowie stormed across the underwater cavern in a flash, foot aimed directly into the octopus's groin.

But he'd overcooked his foot. He blasted straight through, showering particles of octopus brain and guts across the underwater lair, spattering octo-crotch in Bowie's immaculate slicked-back hair.

With a wail of despair, the octopus overlord's lover charged at Bowie from the far end of the cavern.

The apprentice Timelord's eyes glowed red as he turned to face this new threat.
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Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Glimpses of the Past
« Reply #550 on: September 12, 2012, 12:48:47 am »

Tackle/Wrestle the BRONTOSAURUS!
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Fate/Stay Night: OOC thread - Serious talk about the canon characters' bisexuality, gravity rape, Noble Phantasm balance, Tiruin's character level of dumbness versus naivete, how sick and tainted my mind is, linguistics and much more.

What more do you need?

lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Two!
« Reply #551 on: September 13, 2012, 09:10:24 am »

TURN TWO!



Paul McCartney clicks his guitar into reverse and strums a REVERSED chord of gentle loving for Davy Crockett!



"Oh, jolly!" says Paul McCartney. "More of these buggers! Right then, they look a spot hungry, don't think we'll persuade 'em this time."

He thinks once! He considers his options twice! He decides against tactically showing his pimp leg thrice!

"Ah, I've got it. Wild, rowdy beasts, eh? Davy, I do believe this is your field of expertise!" he says, turning his guitar towards the head of the column, ...totally forgetting to flip the reversal switch, and strumming a burst of pure emo power-drain at Davy Crockett!

The American almost immediately starts to wipe a few forlorn tears from the corners of his eyes.

"Oh, bugger!"

Ah, the Prehistorics. The days before time. Some of the older philosophers thought that the balance of the elements was not consistent, and that the fire element was more plentifull in the past, which allowed these beast to become as large as they are. I suppose we should test that to further our knowledge.

Multiply this, set up Heat ray



Ducking under the beam of sorrowful rejection that suddenly shoots up from the back of the group, Archimedes pauses his intellectual meanderings long enough to remember his comrades. ...He shouts out a bunch of mathematical formulae, totally explaining, afterwards, in Plain English, how and where to hit these bastard dinosaurs!

...That done, he rummages about in his new leather dress and pulls out his complex set of mirrors, aligning them neatly with the sun. They start to heat up!

Quote from: velociraptor group South
”Grarrh rawwrrt!”
Eat Paul McCartney.


Just then there’s a horrible sound of grarrhing and rawwrring, and the two rearmost velociraptors leap quickly into the attack, their drooling mouths showing tooth after razor-sharp tooth.

...McCartney steps away from the first one as it aims a slash at his face and only manages to tear the skin on his chin, but he can do nothing against the vicious attack of the second who dashes in and clamps his jaws shut around the Beatle’s guts!

The teeth pierce right through the titanium reinforcement, fracturing McCartney’s lower intestine!

Wound Acquired: Paul McCartney: Clawed Chin!

Wound Acquired: Paul McCartney: Fractured Lower Intestine!

MULTIKILL fire HE shells at the two velociraptors in front of me!



At the other end of the column, the monstrously faced and quite terribly sad Davy Crockett, feeling, nevertheless, rather pleased about being complete again, is rather itching for a fight! He manages to stop wiping the tears from his eyes long enough to challenge his foe!

"Let's go, you dino-bastards!" he starts shouting, his breaking voice almost immediately drowned out by the whirring death engine welded onto his shoulder-stump!

...Davy aims first at the left hand reptilian fiend, spraying a mass of explosive rounds into his ugly dino-face. ...His face breaks off! His guts are fractured! Most of his body vanishes in the smoke! And then reappears!

Wound Acquired: Velociraptor One: Severed Face!

Wound Acquired: Velociraptor One: Fractured Lower Intestine!

...Taking aim at the next enemy with a shorter burst, Crockett lets rip once more! ...When the smoke clears, Crockett views with pleasure as the second velociraptor stumbles to the ground, his legs fractured and his ribs burst apart!

Wound Acquired: Velociraptor Two: Fractured Legs!

Wound Acquired: Velociraptor Two: Exploded Ribs!

Quote from: velociraptor group North
”Ouch.”
Eat Davy Crockett!



...Howling with pain, the faceless velociraptor charges at Crockett, lunging to bite off his terrifying arm-addition. But he’s got no face! He totally can’t bite!

His colleague and, he’s happy to say, his lover, the second velociraptor, also charges towards Davy Crockett, but just then he realises his legs are fractured! He tumbles to the ground in front of the merciless American!

Quote from: brontosaurus
”You must die, Edward! You have resisted us for too long. And this! This is a step too far, Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex!”
Wrestle the T-Rex!



...It’s time for decisive action, realises the brontosaurus sergeant, bellowing a challenge and heading straight for Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex. He rears his ugly head and tries to chomp down on the T Rex’s ear. He breaks the skin and tears the flesh!

Wound Acquired: Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex: Torn Ear!

Quote from: Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex
Bite the brontosaurus!
...



”Arhg! My ear, you fascist bastard!” yells Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex. ”I’ll have you, you damned herbivore!” he shouts, biting a chunk out of the brontosaurus’ guts.

Wound Acquired: John the Brontosaurus: Torn Guts!

Tackle/Wrestle the BRONTOSAURUS!


”Oh, crikey mates!” despairs Steve Irwin as he rushes to the fight. ”What the hell do you call that, are you a bunch of flamin’ pansies or what, fellas?” he continues as he strolls up to the evil brontosaurus. ”You bleedin’ well do it like this, mates!”

...Reaching the brontosaurus, Steve Irwin, Professional Reptile Conqueror, backflips into the air, performs a double somersault twist whilst orbiting the bewildered brontosaurus’s head, and then comes in to land feet first, gliding between the legs of the massive beast and ripping each one off with one hand as he goes.

Wound Acquired: John the Brontosaurus: Severed Legs!

Wound Acquired: John the Brontosaurus: Severed Legs!

Wound Acquired: John the Brontosaurus: Severed Legs!

Wound Acquired: John the Brontosaurus: Severed Legs!

He lands at the rear of the dinosaur as it crashes to the ground, stumps flailing around madly as blood spurts out nearly sixty foot into the air.

With a flick of his foot Stevo bats the brontosaurus’s tail into the air, catches it with his remaining hand, and smacks the dinosaur in half with its own severed appendage.

Wound Acquired: John the Brontosaurus: Severed Tail!

Wound Acquired: John the Brontosaurus: Severed Body!

”He was a cheeky little critter, weren’t he! Crikey!”

Just then a trio of feathered man-size dinosaurs break out of the cover to the north west, charging directly at the bowienauts!

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)

VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT:
None.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)

Open to suggestions for either side's dinosaur actions!
« Last Edit: September 13, 2012, 09:35:52 am by lawastooshort »
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Tiruin

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Two!
« Reply #552 on: September 13, 2012, 09:12:32 am »

That wound list.

That wound list!

I am now scared.
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monk12

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Two!
« Reply #553 on: September 13, 2012, 11:36:47 am »

”Arhg! My ear, you fascist bastard!” yells Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

My ear

ear

???
:P

Velociraptor S1: distract Paul McCartney!
Velociraptor S2: Clever Girl Paul McCartney!
Brontosaurus: DO A BARREL ROLL!

Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Two!
« Reply #554 on: September 13, 2012, 12:04:12 pm »

I believe you forgot to change the map out.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.
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