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Author Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued  (Read 249342 times)

lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Three.
« Reply #495 on: July 05, 2012, 10:55:01 am »

SHORT INTERLUDE PART THREE

King Leonidas I of Sparta, King of the Spartans, son of Anaxandridas II, descendant of Heracles and Defender of the West adds David Bowie to his inventory for safekeeping, then attacks the zombie nurse holding the Emergency Timelord Drugs!

Unless the drugs are just lying on the ground, in which case, y'know, pick them up or something. What do I look like, a doctor?



"King,” shouts Davy Crockett, preparing to attack just out of shot. ”Cover Bowie while we take this man out! Boone, let's go!"

”Righty-ho!” bellows King Leonidas. ”For Sparta!” he adds, a bit more in character, before dashing over to Davie Bowie, slinging him over his back into his inventory, and ...completely missing his custom-made Timelord-quiver. Bowie slumps headfirst in a heap on the floor behind him, still clutching his temples as the Spartan hero charges into the melee.

Spotting the drugs under the foot of a passing undead nurse, ...Leonidas just manages to barge the evil minion out of the way before its foot comes down to stomp them. As the skeletal nurse gets back to his feet Leonidas smashes it right in the chest with his shield! ...A couple of ribs fly out, pinging hollowly off the floor of the antechamber. The skeleton looks slightly more vulnerable! And his arm seems to be on the floor!

Nurse Minion 2: Damaged Ribs! Slightly More Vulnerable!

Nurse Minion 2: Severed Arm!

Vaporate the nurse to the right. They're all skellies.

LET THERE BE FIRE!

First Skellie goes after Mc Cartmeys ugly head meats.

Second stomps on all drugs within reach, then challenges Leonidas to an extreme dinner in the other room.



Seeing his nurse minion get smashed with an ancient Greek shield puts Theoderm Roosevelt in quite a bad mood. ...Vomiting as he does so, he turns to his right, deathrays shooting out of his eyes and retch-juice out of his mouth, vaporificating the flesh from the nearest nurse’s bones and dropping him to the floor, from whence it immediately rises as a despondent looking skeleton. But yea! ...For the President is not done with shooting fiery death from his orifices and, aiming his nose towards the clearly and treacherously not-American-enough Davy Crockett, he unleashes an inferno of terrible blue white and red flame from his nostrils!

...But no! For Davy Crockett is too American not to dodge the wrath of the President, only thinking briefly of leaving for Texas before deciding instead to take his patriotic punishment like a man. An American man! The flames envelope him, setting his hair on fire and burning his leg off! He topples over to the left with a heavy clunk as his arm turret hits the floor, a smouldering barbecue stump the only proof that he, like all good Americans should (unless they lost it in the Nam), once had a left leg.

Wound Acquired: Davy Crockett: Burning Hair!

Wound Acquired: Davy Crockett: Severed Left Leg!

Next to Davy, Steve Irwin ...leaps out of the way, spinning through the air as he escapes the Presidential Nostril Napalm Blast and landing deftly on his feet, poised and ready to seek vengeance for his comrade’s limb.

...The less nimble Archimedes simply raises his right foot, deflecting the fiery blast with his ancient Greek sandal and sending a bouncing ball of flame shooting back across the room towards the skeletal nurse chasing down the broken-legged and crawling McCartney. Nurse minion number 1 explodes in a ball of flame and bone!

Wound Acquired: Nurse Minion One: Exploded into a Ball of Flame!

A flaming shard of ex-skeleton flies towards ...Davy Crockett, hitting him in the right leg, lightly bruising it!

Wound Acquired: Davy Crockett: Lightly Bruised Right Leg!

As the dust settles, Nurse Minion 2, locked in a battle to the death or second death with King Leonidas, smacks the noble Greek in the face, causing blood to pour heavily out of his nose. He then opens his necromantically powered mouth to utter a few mumbled yet terrible words.

”You and me. Outside. I bet you can’t eat as much as me!”

CHALLENGE ISSUED: UNDEAD NURSE MINION TWO CHALLENGES KING LEONIDAS TO AN EXTREME EAT-OFF. OUTSIDE.

Wound Acquired: King Leonidas: Bleeding Nose!

Fire the medical water arm at Nurse 2*, Set up the laser (again), and patch-up Mccartney's leg**.

*Healing kills the undead right
** With a +2 bonus, there's no way that can go wrong, right



Flushed with success at destroying one undead nurse with his fireball-reflecting sandal, Archimedes decides to destroy another with the power of water-elemental-based bandage-projectile healing arms! ...But when he points and shoots, nothing comes out except a lonely click.

With a shrug, Archimedes looks down the barrel of his arm and decides instead to set up his moon laser. ...Carefully pulling it out of his pockets, he plants it on the floor, angled towards the nearest bright light to capture the soon-to-be deadly energy. This done, he ambles casually over to Paul McCartney, still writhing on the blood- and vomit-smeared floor in naked pain.

“Now, what seems to be the problem here then?”

“My leg, damn it Archimedes! You just bloody saw! A dead nurse just chewed right through my leg bone!”

“Really, really. Very interesting. Nurse! Get me this patient’s charts, will you? They don’t seem to be here.”

“Arrrg!"

“Really. I see. Right. Yes. Very interesting. Right. Well, what we’re going to do, you see, is a rather complicated procedure. Don’t worry, you’re in very capable hands. Now, you might feel a little stinging, but I’m going to cover your leg in bandages and hope for the best and see you again in six weeks. Ha! No! Actually I’m not, but this might hurt. Brace yourself, old chap!”

...Archimedes looks about in his doctor’s bag for a minute, raises a satisfied eyebrow as he nods to himself, pulls out a hammer, and smashes McCartney in the face. Then, whilst the Beatle is unconscious, he carefully cleans the gaping leg wound before straightening the bone, ramming it together as hard as he can, and then covering the entire leg in a quick setting plaster.

“Good as new, eh!” he comments as McCartney groggily wakes up.

He strums a gentle chord!



Paul McCartney staggers to his feet on his newly repaired leg, naked and smeared in vomit but at least no longer broken and bleeding. He gathers up his guitar and speaks.

"Sure, Teddy, you can raise the dead. And unbridled hatred's fine and all. But can you withstand..."

He dramatically pauses as he points his guitar at the evil President. He readies his left hand and raises his right.

"...The power of love?"

...As his right hand comes down, a blast of pure love streams out of his instrument towards Presiderm Roosevelt who tries to duck out the way but only manages to get struck full in the face!

"Here comes the sun, boys!"

Suddenly the President of the Necromantic States of America feels full of gentle love!

Penalty Acquired: Theoderm Roosevelt: Full of Gentle Love!

Wrestle The President, Theoderm Rooselvelt into submission! VIA FLYING EMU TAKEDOWN TACKLE OF MANLINESS! And possibly attack him with my right ear while I do so.



Bouncing on his manly feet, Steve Irwin is ready. ...He leaps elbows first through the air like a mildly demented flying emu, knocking Roosevelt to the floor before twisting his head a little and ...smacking him repeatedly in the thigh with his bionic ear! Blood starting seeping through the Presidential trousers as Stevo keeps wrestling him into submission! ...A sharp knee to the groin seems to do the trick!

Wound Acquired: Theoderm Roosevelt: Heavy Thigh Bleeding!

Wound Acquired: Theoderm Roosevelt: Severely Bruised Groin!

Charge and stab/bite NecroTR!



Whilst Roosevelt is on the floor, the burning Davy Crockett decides to take advantage. He hops forward on his remaining leg, hoping that Boone will open the attack with his monstrous jaws. ...But Boone is distracted by a nearby bone! He starts chewing and immediately stops hopping a yard in front of the President, causing Davy to fall forward, deadly Bowie knife outstretched in front of him.

...The blade plunges forward, totally severing Roosevelt’s guts! From the floor comes a gentle sound of smacking crocodile lips as Boone starts a third breakfast.

Wound Acquired: Theoderm Roosevelt: Severed Guts!

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)

VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT:
+1 Maths combat bonus for one turn.
-2 Gentle Love penalty to Roosevelt’s combat rolls for two turns.
Theoderm Roosevelt: Temporary Ability Acquired: Flesh Vaporiser
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
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Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Three.
« Reply #496 on: July 05, 2012, 11:20:02 am »

Now that Rooselvelt is successfully wrestled, Stevo will try to, like any decently Australian MAN, RIDE THE PRESIDENT INTO HIS ALLIES' ATTACKS!

Oh, and Bionic Ear Molestation commence.
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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Three.
« Reply #497 on: July 05, 2012, 11:24:06 am »

"Oi!  That's my good leg!"

Extinguish the head flames by headbutting NecroTR in the chest.  Boone should snack on him more as well.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Three.
« Reply #498 on: July 05, 2012, 12:01:27 pm »

((Misreading on my part. Still, Mccartney isn't horribly molested,so all's well.))

Fire the laser at Nurse 3, elemental mathematics (Living nurses +water -fire) to crygenically preserve them, grab Bowie and retreat with my fellow greek to the next room. 

Oh,grab. The drugs aswell, if I havee time
« Last Edit: July 06, 2012, 12:05:21 am by 10ebbor10 »
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monk12

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Three.
« Reply #499 on: July 05, 2012, 10:03:23 pm »

Somebody get the drugs! I must address this challenge lest I be unmanned in the defense of our beloved Timelord!

freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Three.
« Reply #500 on: July 07, 2012, 02:11:06 pm »

Paul McCartney thought through his past songs to which one would be appropriate for such an encounter. Yellow Submarine? No. Mister Postman? Hmm... Wait, he had it!

Paul McCartney lets Theoderm Roosevelt hear some of that rock and roll music!

"Just let me hear some of that rock and roll music
Any old way you choose it
Its got a back beat, you cant lose it,
Any old time you use it
Its gotta be rock roll music
If you wanna fight with me
If you wanna fight with me!"


As he sung, he ran at Roosevelt with the grace of a hippie floating through hallucinogenic clouds! He slashed at Theoderm's head with his Clayboard!
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Three.
« Reply #501 on: July 13, 2012, 05:16:30 am »

Apologies for the delay. I've been ill enough to have my creativity totally sapped all week. I'm trying to get the turn done before I'm away for a fortnight, but I'm not sure I will be able to, I have a lot on. Feel free to RP heavily in my absence.
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Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Three.
« Reply #502 on: July 13, 2012, 05:30:14 am »

Oh, for clarification, I meant ride T.M into my teams attacks, not HIS teams attacks.
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Four.
« Reply #503 on: July 24, 2012, 05:21:26 am »

SHORT INTERLUDE PART FOUR

Vaporate the far left nurse, then Abominize it and the remnants of the exploded nurse. (If I can't do that, just use NM3)

NM2 will presumably go on an infinite eat loop with the spartan.

If possible, haymaker to the face of Steve Irwin and move east a bit.



Roosevelt hasn’t been so angry since 1912: his poor nurse minion is scattered in tiny parts all over the room!

...Staring with his deadly gaze of lustful vaporification, he blasts the furthest nurse to smithereens with his eyes, laughing with satisfaction as the poor chap’s flesh melts to the floor. Without the slightest warning the terrible rays of his gaze reflect off the recently polished walls of the antechamber and vaporise the nurse to the east! His bones boil and his flesh grows putrid with horrifying warts the size of melons! Tearing straight through the unfortunate victim, the Roosevelt-rays travel towards the wall, bounce off their lovely shiny surface, and head right for the final nurse!

The nurse’s skin flakes off and his blood evaporates into the air! His internal organs slip out the back and fall to the floor!

“Heeheehee!” Theoderm says, with a slight trace of pleasure. “Abominification Commence!”

...The President starts to grunt wildly and raise his arms in the air; suddenly the variously mutilated corpses of the four nurses slide across the floor from their starting places and, gathering speed, creep to the feet of Roosevelt like an obedient eel-puppy. There’s a blinding flash; a sickening smell; a puff of vomit-coloured smoke.

The smoke wafts gently across the room and as it clears Roosevelt’s greatest creation so far this week becomes visible to all, towering above the room’s other occupants, its limbs uncountable to all but the most mathematically-inclined.

“Arrrgg!” screams Paul McCartney. “A Multi-Armed Skeletal-Nurse Melon-Wart Death-Spider! Bugger!”

Decidedly pleased with this turn of events, ...Roosevelt gives Irwin a gentle tap on the cheek before ambling slightly eastwards to get a better view of his new pet.

Minion Acquired: Multi-Armed Skeletal-Nurse Melon-Wart Death-Spider!

tldr; Alter the deal, pray I do not alter it further. Hopefully this doesn't mean I'm losing to Boone already.



"EXTREME EATERY proclaims King Leonidas, his interest, like any man’s man’s would be, piqued by the thought of eating until violently sick, “Is the BASIS of SPARTAN LAW. And BY SPARTAN LAW, it is the right of the CHALLENGED party to set the TERMS of the CONTEST.”

"Oh, balls,” thinks Roosevelt.

YOU,” continues King Leonidas, dramatically pausing.

ME,” he pauses again, seemingly unable to get his words out any faster and almost drowning in the tempestuous drama of his gravelly utterings.

”RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.”

The King seems to sigh with relief as he finally gets it out, only to grimace once more with concentration and abdominal straining.

”The warrior who eats the MOST NECROMANCER shall be known as the manliest, while the warrior who eats the least shall be shamed forevermore! LET THE BUFFET BEGIN!"

"Oh, cock,” realises the President, edging ever so slightly away from the rest of the room's occupants.

Fire the laser at Nurse 3, elemental mathematics (Living nurses +water -fire) to cryogenically preserve them, grab Bowie and retreat with my fellow Greek to the next room. 

Oh,grab. The drugs aswell, if I havee time



...Meanwhile, as the evil President tries to slip away from his grisly fate, Archimedes is rapt with spasms of joy, so overwhelmed with emotion at the masterful display of Grecian rhetoric he has just witnessed that he rips off his dress and dives head first onto the filthy wet floor. Frolicking nakedly like an Alpine pony in the sunswept meadows of a late August afternoon, he rolls this way and that about the repulsive room, involuntarily rubbing himself from head to toe before ...knocking over his mirrors. Rising suddenly to his feet, the once serious philosopher laughs knowingly to himself as he ...tries to recount an old favourite maths joke before stumbling over to the glittering Timelord and retching violently all over his sequinned Timejacket.

“...and you know what?!” he punchlines. “The whole time it was a two SQUARED! Ohohohohoho!”

He falls back to the floor where he flails about in the indescribable filth.

As he sung, he ran at Roosevelt with the grace of a hippie floating through hallucinogenic clouds! He slashed at Theoderm's head with his Clayboard!



“Oh, shit man!” cries Paul McCartney. “Roosevelt's getting away while we stare at this multi-limbed spider-fiend! Shit!”

He quickly thinks through his past songs to which one would be appropriate for such an encounter. Yellow Submarine? No. Mister Postman? No. He needs one with more violence. A song... suitable for taking down a President. Revolver? No. Hmm... Wait, he had it!

Paul McCartney will let Theoderm Roosevelt hear some of that rock and roll music!

"Just let me hear some of that rock and roll music
Any old way you choose it
It’s got a back beat, you can't lose it,
Any old time you use it
It’s gotta be rock roll music
If you wanna fight with me
If you wanna fight with me!"


Soon reaching the triumphant climax of his sonic orgy, McCartney runs towards President Roosevelt, lifting his Clayboard above his shoulder as flowers and unicorns and the Monkey Buddha appear all around him and the room turns a gentle lovely kind of fluffy white and the sun streaks through the gaps, turning into silver emerald lines of holy joy and rhythmic jugular dancing, the insects wafting down gently from the trees and...

“Arggghoof!”

...Completely oblivious to the President's fancy footwork, the music-fiend Paul McCartney runs straight past him and into the wall!

His attack fails!

Now that Rooselvelt is successfully wrestled, Stevo will try to, like any decently Australian MAN, RIDE THE PRESIDENT INTO HIS ALLIES' ATTACKS!

Oh, and Bionic Ear Molestation commence.




...Steve Irwin has wrestled Roosevelt into submission: now he jumps upon the Presidential shoulders, kicking the American’s flanks with his heels to direct him towards his allies. But McCartney is busy running into the wall, Archimedes is occupied rolling nakedly in filth, and King Leonidas is discussing eat-off etiquette with a dead nurse!

“Davy it’ll have to be then!” thinks the Australian to himself, as he tries to keep Roosevelt in place in front of Davy Crockett. Just then he leans down and starts tickling Roosevelt with his bionic ear. It’s quite distracting. ...Suddenly blood begins to pour out of Roosevelt’s over-tickled ear.

PRESIDENT WRESTLED: FOUR TURNS OF RIDING LEFT!

Wound Acquired: Theoderm Roosevelt: Lightly Bleeding Ear!

Extinguish the head flames by headbutting NecroTR in the chest.  Boone should snack on him more as well.



"Oi! That's my good leg!" observes Davy Crockett, dismayed at this latest display of Presidential abuse of power. “And my good hair! Take this!”

Davy carefully aims his burning head at the President before headbutting him vigorously in the chest! ...The flames are extinguished by the torrent of blood that pours forth from Roosevelt’s shining and muscular physique!

Wound Acquired: Theoderm Roosevelt: Lightly Bleeding Chest!

Theoderm is so absorbed in the delightful spectacle of his manly blood running in sensual rivulets down his own bulging pecs that he barely notices when ...a crocodile’s head bites his left foot off!

Wound Acquired: Theoderm Roosevelt: Severed Left Foot!

...Just as Theoderm’s morale plummets to an all-day low at the loss of his foot, out of the corner of his eye he spies his multi-legged abomination strides menacingly towards him.

"Oh, balls,” he thinks, for the second time this turn.

Suddenly the multi-nurse-spider swipes with his vicious skeletal arm towards Roosevelt, and Steve Irwin’s left foot flies off above him! In an arc!

"Oh, sweet,” realises the President.

Wound Acquired: Steve Irwin: Severed Left Foot!

Just then, Roosevelt spies a dead nurse and a Spartan king coming towards him, both napkinned up and dual-wielding fancy cutlery. He remembers why he was backing off from the rest of the group

"Oh, balls,” he thinks, again.

...The nurse minion strikes first, stabbing his fork into Roosevelt’s thigh!

Wound Acquired: Theoderm Roosevelt: Punctured Thigh!

... Licking his lips, King Leonidas cuts off a slice of Roosevelt’s arm and tucks in!

Wound Acquired: Theoderm Roosevelt: Eaten Arm Slice!

King Leonidas stops chewing for long enough to bellow in his great and noble voice.

”Bring out the gravy!”

EAT OFF ROUND ONE: TIE!

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)

VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT:
-1 Gentle Love penalty to Roosevelt’s combat rolls for one more turn [4].
Theoderm Roosevelt: Temporary Ability Acquired: Flesh Vaporiser
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Three.
« Reply #504 on: July 24, 2012, 05:50:56 am »

Load laser, elemental magics, grab Bowie and retreat away from the next monster. 

Oh grab The drugs aswell, if I have time
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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Four.
« Reply #505 on: July 24, 2012, 09:18:49 am »

"Time for a two-for-one deal, right?"

MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT NTR right into his skelespider minion!




I hope Boone doesn't mind me kicking with him, since I don't have much other choice.  Can I even kick?
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Tiruin

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Four.
« Reply #506 on: July 24, 2012, 09:22:55 am »

((You know things are gonna get epic when ears start to bleed.  :P))
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monk12

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Four.
« Reply #507 on: July 24, 2012, 08:36:13 pm »

OM NOM NOM

This plan is devious in its intricacies

Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Four.
« Reply #508 on: July 25, 2012, 03:36:02 pm »

Continue riding/attacking Roosevelt
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Fate/Stay Night: OOC thread - Serious talk about the canon characters' bisexuality, gravity rape, Noble Phantasm balance, Tiruin's character level of dumbness versus naivete, how sick and tainted my mind is, linguistics and much more.

What more do you need?

lawastooshort

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Short Interlude. Part Four.
« Reply #509 on: July 26, 2012, 02:37:02 am »

I'd like to update today because I am away again shortly, so, bump for McCartney (I PMed).

Since today means in the next six hours, I am also open to the first suggestion that comes along.
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