SHORT INTERLUDE PART TWO
Flesh Vaporate the nurse with the drugs, and punch the ever loving hell out of Archimedes.
My Nurse Minion shall go after McCartney's legs.
“Hahaha!” shouts
Roosevelt in a piece of dialogue Shakespeare could only dream of writing as he turns to face the nurse running towards
David Bowie and clutching the drugs.
...Rays of angry death shoot out of the evil President’s eyes, vaporatorising the living flesh from the poor nurse’s legs before moving up and flaying his torso and head.
Still running, the nurse-corpse tumbles forwards and hits the ground, burnt-clean bones scattering apart on impact and then scuttling along the floor towards each other as they reform. This second nurse minion rises in time to see its first brother-in-unlife drag itself across the floor in the direction of
Paul McCartney, greedily eying the Beatle’s remaining leg.
...Alas for Paul McCartney! For he is too busy getting naked to notice the approaching corpse, and the first thing he knows of its hideous assault is the horrible feeling of his leg snapping between undead teeth! Still struggling with his clothes, the Last Beatle tumbles backwards to the floor!
Wound Acquired: Paul McCartney:
Broken Right Leg!“Hahahahaha!” Roosevelt adds, directing his portly figure towards the
man in a dress.
“I hereby declare you deserve a fair deal… in the face!”He aims a staggeringly powerful blow to Archimedes’s annoyingly philosophical jaw,
...but his own superhuman fist-power surprises him and he misses and stumbles past the Greek, into the open space behind!
Undead Nurse Minion One: Gnawing on McCartney’s leg. Healthy.
Undead Nurse Minion Two: Rising to live again. Healthy.
Sound the alarms, close the painfully slow blast doors, and open the Airlock.
((No wait, scratch that last one. Do multiply this instead, and if possible set up the Solar laser Array to))
Archimedes dodges the necromantic president’s fearsome blow and dashes over to sound the alarms,
...hitting the button several times with no effect until he realises the alarms are already sounding!
“Blast!” he murmurs quietly in his rage, deciding to take out his frustration with some good hard maths.
“X!” he shouts to his comrades,
“And q!” he adds, before finishing off,
“Squared!!”...The bowienauts feel themselves filled with the power of mathematics and, flushed with mathematical joy, Archimedes decides to whip out his solar laser.
...But instead he gets his hand stuck in his pocket!
Stevo dives to assist Davy in helping Bowie!
...Archimedes probably got his hand stuck due to being distracted by the awesomeness of what he beholds:
Steve Irwin flying across the antechamber in a desperate attempt to somehow help
Davy Crockett! He’s not quite sure what to help him with though, and, as he stops to think, he suddenly falls out of the air and lands with a dull thud! On the corpse of nurse minion number two! Faster than you could write “whoops, it’s free attack time” the skeletal corpse tries to chew on Steve Irwin’s last remaining natural ear,
...but instead gets his teeth entangled in the Australian’s lovely floppy hair!
Paul McCartney, who should have learned better by now, flashes his HORRIBLE SPEEDOGUTS at Theoderm Roosevelt!
"Teddy Necromantic Roosevelt?” realises
Paul McCartney.
“How horrifying! Wait, I have just the trick!"...Paul McCartney starts getting naked in front of the
President, suggestively shaking his hips and flinging his clothes off one by one into the corners of the room. As soon as his youthful body is revealed to all, he leaps forward and thrusts his Speedo-enhanced guts at Roosevelt! Barely noticing the
dead nurse chewing on his only leg, his eyes are slowly transfixed by the President’s splendid glasses… and the delightful reflection of his own SPEEDOGUTS in them! It’s like… raw naked guts… mixed with raw Speedo covered groin! But worse! Without so much as a warning babysick in his mouth, McCartney’s body takes over in reaction to this horrifying spectacle: he vomits forth a torrent of bile and breakfast into Roosevelt’s face!
Struck full in the face by the musician’s lumpy digestive juice, Roosevelt in turn is repulsed to the point of physical sickness! The floor turns slick with a vile smelling necromantic intestinal smoothie as the great man sinks to his knees. He wipes McCartney’s sick off his glasses with the back of his sleeve just in time to personally witness another burst of his own regurgitation. It dribbles down the front of his waistcoat and forms a neat little pool in his lap.
Status Acquired: Theoderm Roosevelt:
Vomiting!McCartney, in fact, vomits with such force that he is thrown several feet backwards, free of the gnawing and bone-breaking clasp of nurse minion number one and free of the disgusting reflected sight of his own SPEEDOGUTS. But he can’t stop being sick! The memory is all too much and all too recent; he lands flat on his back a few feet from Roosevelt, and continues to pour out a fountain of foul gut-liquid.
Lying on his back, he finds himself caught fully in the field of fire of the horror-sick as it falls back down towards him. He rolls desperately out of the way as it covers his face, crushing his broken leg beneath him and writhing in naked pain on the vomit smeared floor.
As he flails semi-blindly about, he comes face to face with his unwitting third victim: the nurse who had been feeding on his leg is still crawling relentlessly towards him, obeying his overlord’s command. It comes face to face with a burst of retch-juice so foully powerful it is blasted two dozen feet backwards, bones shattering into bits on the back wall of the cryogenic antechamber.
Status Acquired: Paul McCartney:
Vomiting!Undead Nurse Minion One: Being vomit-propulsed into the wall. Half-smashed; -1 penalty to all actions.
Help out Bowie!
“Oh God no!” cries
Davy Crockett as he sees
Stevo fly across the room.
“Stevooooooo-oh God no!” he adds as he sees vomit and a skeleton join Stevo in wondrous flight.
“Come on men, we must protect the Timelord!” he shouts to his companions.
“We need to get those drugs into him! Ooh, what does this button do?” he wonders, eying a big red button with “Timelord Emergency Protection Activation” engraved upon it.
...Just then he notices a trickle of stomach ejection flowing steadily towards him and his friend
Boone and jumps backwards in surprised disgust, but he slips on the very same sick as he does so, collapsing forwards and smashing the big red button with his face!
He gets to his feet to see a large hole opening in the side of the antechamber’s walls. Doors whizz open left and right to reveal a long wide tube that slowly pokes out into the room several metres above the floor and a high pitched yet still manly
“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” can be heard approaching.
Just as the tube reaches the middle of the room, where Theoderm Roosevelt so recently stood, a heavily bronzed man in a great deal of leather and carrying a hefty shield falls out of it and lands on his feet.
He turns towards Davy Crockett, standing next to the emergency button.
“You rang, milord?”Suddenly he notices the sturdy frame of the evil President dominating the room amidst a sea of gastro-soup.
“Aha!” shouts
King Leonidas, quickly grasping seriousness of the situation.
“You want our Timelord?! Come and take him!”
INTRODUCING: THE DEFENDER OF THE WEST: LEONIDAS, KING OF THE SPARTANS!
Player: monk12
Name: King Leonidas, King of the Spartans and Personal Bodyguard to David Bowie
Status: Inventory: Bronze ShieldWounds: [HP:75/75]Skills: Fearsome Leader,
Dieharder,
In the Face of Adversity,
King of the Spartans,
Extreme Diner 
You are on board the orbital space pod in the cryogenic antechamber. Nothing has really changed in the map except there is one nurse less, one King Leonidas and one nurse minion more, and the floor is all covered is retch-pit-juice.
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECT:+1 Maths combat bonus for two turns.
Theoderm Roosevelt: Temporary Ability Acquired:
Flesh VaporiserPlayer: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Level Four Veteran Crocodile Hunter
Status: -1 to left arm.
Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate,
Bionic Right Ear.
Wounds: [HP:100/100] |
Severed Left ArmSkills: Croc Wrestler,
Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move,
Croc-rider,
Loads’a blood, mate! Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, Level Four Veteran Beatle
Status: -1 to athletic movement. -1 to left leg use. +1 to impressing the ladies. -1 to right leg use.
Vomiting!Inventory: Acoustic Guitar,
Speedoguts! Clayboard.
Wounds: [HP:70/75] |
Titanium Guts! |
Right Leg Pimp Limp! |
Severed Left Leg! |
Broken Right Leg!Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
That's a Catchy Tun-arrgh!,
Frog Chorus,
Reverse Polarisation,
It’s Getting Better All The Time,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, Level Four Veteran King of the Wild Frontier
Status:Inventory: Bowie Knife,
Boone,
Facial Protection Catmask,
Miaowskin-facehat, severed left arm (in face),
Doublearmface! Fully Automatic Shoulder Mounted Tank Turret,
The White Speedo of Lumithos.
Wounds: [HP:75/75] |
Severed Left Arm!Skills: Crack Shot,
Ohio Leap,
MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT,
Multikilll! You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse, Level Four Veteran Philosopher
Status:Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit,
M60 Machine Gun,
Medical Water Elemental Left Arm.
Wounds: [HP:75/75]Skills: Multiply This! Literal Mathemagics,
Archimedes Heat Ray,
Hippocratic Oath,
Absent Minded! Player: dermonster
Name: Theoderm Roosevelt, President of the Necromantic States of America
Status: Vomiting!Inventory: Fists,
Necromantic Starter KitWounds: [HP:100/100]Skills: Abominator,
Eye of the Necromancer,
Firestarter,
Lots of Blood! Servant of the Dark Gods Player: monk12
Name: King Leonidas, King of the Spartans and Personal Bodyguard to David Bowie
Status: Inventory: Bronze ShieldWounds: [HP:75/75]Skills: Fearsome Leader,
Dieharder,
In the Face of Adversity,
King of the Spartans,
Extreme Diner Undead Nurse Minion One: Being vomit-propulsed into the wall. Half-smashed; -1 penalty to all actions.
Undead Nurse Minion Two: Rising to live again. Healthy.
Theoderm, do you want the nurse minions to be more like skeletons, or more like zombies? I picture them as skeletons at the moment, seeing as how their flesh has been vaporised away.
Author
Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued (Read 247367 times)