TURN TWENTY FIVE
Elemental magics: Everyone+water, + Multiply this+ try to fix that arm
"This must be a dwarf.” realises the knowledgeable Greek philosopher.
“Legend says they are murderous beings, but terrifically afraid of the water. Let’s see if the legends are indeed correct!"...Archimedes starts drawing the power of the elements out of the sky with some precise and vaguely mathematical movements, but then suddenly remembers his arm is mangled! He quickly rummages about for his medkit and pulls out a set of bandages and but oh dear!
...Oh gosh! The! Um!
An enormous trailing twirl of bandages shoots out from the medkit into the darkening sky a short distance away, from whence suddenly shoots a terrifying tornado of immeasurable height which mixes and swirls and joins together with the hundreds of metres of bandage, blasting across the barely moonlit landscape towards Archimedes’ outstretched and battered arm. Closer and closer it comes until it leaps across the surface of the ground, colliding with tremendous force with the broken limb!
Before he even knows what is happening, the force of the water-bandage spout bursts into Archimedes and sends him flying backwards a dozen metres into a nearby rock!
Stumbling to his feet on his badly bruised legs, Archimedes notices a strange sensation in his arm.
He glances down, only to see a shimmering school of bandages swimming about in his now transparent appendage!
Wound Acquired: Archimedes of Syracuse:
Bruised Legs!Limb Acquired: Archimedes of Syracuse:
Medical Water Elemental Left Arm!Paul McCartney sings his FROG SONG once again and summons frogs down upon the suit of armor!
As soon as the troublesome tornado travels away,
Paul McCartney jumps into action, unslinging his guitar and whipping out a plectrum.
"Don't worry, boys! I'll distract the suit so Rasputin can grab the bag!" he starts, as he strums an intro.
"Wait... didn't I reverse the polarisation on this thing? Ah, probably not a big deal. Here we go!””Bum, bum-bum; Bum, bum-bum,” he starts, as the darkened skies start darkening even more and the terrifying tornado starts heading back towards the assembled bowienauts.
”Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum-bum; Bum, bum, b-OH BUGGER!”...The sky turns a dark and overwhelmingly ominous green; a rain starts to fall. A rain that is hard. A rain that is green. A rain that consists of great big giant frogs the size of water melons, tumbling down from the sky for as far as the eye can see!
”Croak!” goes one, as it crashes down on
...Rasputin’s head, exploding and showering the Russian in frog guts.
”Croak!” goes another, as it splatters upon
...Steve Irwin’s burning hair, extinguishing the flames and stunning the astonished Australian.
Wound Acquired: Steve Irwin:
Bruised Brain!”Croak!” adds a final monsterfrog, as if emphasising the point of his smashed brethren whilst crushing down upon
...the already frog-drenched Rasputin, chipping the skull and bruising the brain!
Wound Acquired: Rasputin:
Chipped Skull!Wound Acquired: Rasputin:
Bruised Brain!As the sky finally begins to clear once more, a solitary giant frog hops up to the shining suit of armour standing guard before the stadium amidst the sea of rubbery green limbs and splattered amphibious corpses.
It leaps feet first at the
dwarf’s face, kicking his teeth in and knocking him to the ground!
Wound Acquired: A dwarf:
Bruised Teeth!”Hmm…” mutters Paul as he examines first his shoelaces and then the roof of a nearby building, which looks particularly interesting.
”Nope... wasn’t a big deal…”Open the suit (via philosophers stone), grab the bag of discord.
...Rasputin quickly recovers from his stunned state to remember his enemy before him. His armour looks impenetrable; a greater force than mere amphibians or fists will be required! Unfortunately, in his frog-blasted daze, when he reaches into his shirt to find his formidably powerful philosopher’s stone, he only finds his nipple! He gives it a quick rub before advancing towards the
dwarf, determined to steal the deadly bag of discord.
He trips over a frog!
Attack Davy Crockett with a backpack to the crotch!
☺
The imposing
dwarf spits out the bits of teeth frogsmashed into his mouth. They hit the inside of his helmet and rattle about, pinging back into his chin! His beard now menaces with spikes of dwarven teeth! He wades through the sea of frog, ignoring the
Russian on the floor in front of him, charging directly towards his foe. The deadliest threat seems obvious: he advances upon
Davy Crockett.
He bellows a silent warcry, implacable in his ancient duty to guard the entrance to his clan’s fortress, and swings his artefact backpack right into Davy Crockett’s crotch,
...tearing the skin and fracturing the bone!
Wound Acquired: Davy Crockett:
Fractured crotch!Tantrum Acquired: Davy Crockett:
Tantrum Alert!Davy Crockett is livid! His poor crotch! Instead of sinking to his knees in monstrous pain, he immediately froths over with blind rage and storms over to
...Rasputin, waving his bowie knife in the Russian’s beardy face!
... Luckily for international relations though, he is too incapacitated by crotch pain to inflict any damage! Oh well.
Tantrum Finished: Davy Crockett:
Tantrum Over!Fire a salvo of armor piercing rounds!
This crushing knife waving failure brings
Crockett to his senses: he is faced with a heavily armoured foe! He is armed with heavily armour piercing rounds! Surely this will work, he thinks to himself as he turns, aims his gun, and somehow pulls the trigger!
...But once again a mere single shell dribbles forth,
...ineffectually plopping out upon the ground!
Crockett imagines he can hear some sort of voice from within the deadly tin.
"Ahahahahahaha!"…as he tried to put the fire out of his hair and survey the opponent.
"And that, mate, is how we do it down under, Davy-fella...” Stevo says, as he lets the exploding frog extinguish his burning hair.
”Crikey... I meant taking out Nazi pillboxes, but that’s also how we put out raging head-fires too, mate!"He turns to face the bowienauts’ foe, and remembers his calling in life. He turns briefly back to his comrades.
”Now, what we have here, mates, is yer typical common or garden enraged deadly dwarf, supposedly guarding the entrance to his fortress since the dawn of time as instructed by the invisible hand that guides. Crikey. This guy’s a beauty, and his armour is a really fine specimen, masterwork, by the looks of it, but I’m not gonna get any closer yet without properly preparing myself – he looks like a naughty little guy, but wooo! I bet yer he’s got a pretty little face under that top quality steel plate, eh? No, I’m gonna observe him closely, and then I’m just gonna slowly approach the gorgeous critter without him even knowing I’m here. Then, when the time is right, I’m just gonna pounce and clamp his jaws shut, and then get the crew to find me some kind of box! Crikey!”Crikey! Stevo’s expert analysis bears fruit, and he spots a weakness!
Bonus Acquired: Steve Irwin:
Opponent Surveyed!
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECTNone.
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Level Three Crocodile Hunter
Status: -1 to hearing. -1 to left arm. -1 to attack rolls. +1 to attack rolls vs the dwarf next turn.
Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate.
Wounds: [HP:13/75] |
Right Ear Ripped Off! |
Severed Left Arm |
Bruised Brain!Skills: Croc Wrestler,
Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move,
Croc-rider,
Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, Level Three Beatle
Status: -1 to athletic movement. -1 to left leg use. +1 to impressing the ladies.
Inventory: Acoustic Guitar,
Speedoguts! Clayboard.
Wounds: [HP:66/75] |
Titanium Guts! |
Right Leg Pimp Limp! |
Severed Left Leg!Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
That's a Catchy Tun-arrgh!,
Frog Chorus,
Reverse Polarisation,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, Level Three King of the Wild Frontier
Status: -1 to attack.
Inventory: Bowie Knife,
Boone,
Facial Protection Catmask,
Miaowskin-facehat, severed left arm (in face),
Doublearmface! Fully Automatic Shoulder Mounted Tank Turret,
The White Speedo of Lumithos.
Wounds: [HP:62/75] |
Severed Left Arm! |
Severed Right Arm |
Fractured crotch!Skills: Crack Shot,
Ohio Leap,
MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT,
You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse, Level Three Philosopher
Status: -1 to dodge.
Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit,
M60 Machine Gun,
Medical Water Elemental Left Arm.
Wounds: [HP:69/75] |
Bruised LegsSkills: Multiply This! Literal Mathemagics,
Archimedes Heat Ray,
Absent Minded! Player: Empfan
Name: Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin, Mystic, Black Monk, and Beard Expert
Status: -1 to right arm. -1 to guts. +1 to damage rolls against you. -1 to attack rolls.
Inventory: Philosopher’s StoneWounds: [HP: 35/100] |
Severed Right Arm! |
Severed Guts! |
Chipped Skull! |
Bruised Brain!Skills: Seductive Hypnotist,
Beard of Power,
Lots of Blood! Noble Haters Gonna Hate! Player: adwarf
Name: A Dwarf
Status: -1 to attack rolls until healed, -10 to initiative next turn.
Inventory: ☼Steel Plate Armour☼,
The Backpack of Tearful TantrumsWounds: [HP:100/100] |
Bruised Teeth!Skills: Professional Misc. Object User,
Martial Trance,
Alcohol Dependent Turns are in d100 initiative order.
Sorry for the unavoidable delay. There will be another one, very likely, after this turn as I am away for work for several days, unless I can squeeze one out on Saturday IF everyone posts their turns in the next 24 hours. Can’t promise anything though.
Archimedes: you wanted to flood the area, and obviously this was tricky to work out with a roll of 3. Luckily for me you then rolled a 6. Unfortunately for you the result meant that you couldn’t then cast Multiply This! Luckily for you you now have an invulnerable arm made of water and bandages.
Author
Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued (Read 247346 times)