TURN TEN
Paul McCartney spits the frog out of his mouth!
Paul McCartney points his acoustic guitar towards the sky and strums a gentle loving chord at the heavens in hopes of distracting the frogs! And signaling the ptero-team to pick him up.
"Oh, bmmf. I camf paffify 'is maff frogf af onf."Suddenly
Paul McCartney surfaces amidst the pile of writhing moist frog and
...with tremendous vigour blasts his mouthfrog into the sky! An incandescent trail of frogfear shoots through the darkness! A veritable vertical frog migration commences!
"Much better. Gosh. I hope this is enough to get these frogs off my back!"Direct the luftosaur to DO A BARREL ROLL! BOMBING RUN!
...On board the luftosaur all hell is breaking loose, although not in the derm sense.
“Alert! Alert! Crikey mate, bloody alert, fellas! Shit! We taking heavy anti-aircraft fire, we got tracerfrogs coming from 12 o’clock! Taking evasive action, mates!”“DO A BARREL ROLL!” shout
Archimedes, barely hanging on in the onrushing wind.
“What?” cries back
Stevo, dangerously looking back towards his ancient Greek passenger.
“DO A BARREL ROLL!”
“Eh?”
“DO A… YOU NEED… ARGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!”Provide covering fire for anyone assaulting the dinoPANZERs.
Suddenly the pteroschmitt takes a hard left as
Stevo yanks its head round to avoid an oncoming burst of frogflak.
Archimedes struggles to keep his footing!
"Damn it, keep her steady!” shouts
Davy Crockett.
“Let's get these metal beasts and meet our target!"Davy takes aim as Stevo wrestles for control, lining his flintlock rifle up to the dinoPANZER trundling menacingly across the battlefield below.
He fires!
...He misses!
The dinoPANZER beneath sees the source of the incoming fire, and breaks off from charging towards Nikola Tesla and his electric polar bear to aim his mighty turret at the hijacked pteroschmitt above.
He fires!
...He narrowly misses as Steve Irwin yanks hard on the neck of the Nazi dinosaur, sending the monstrous aircraft into a spin, rolling over onto its left and thrusting its belly at the sky before barreling back round to a level position. Overcome with fratricidal Nazi bloodlust the pterosaur becomes enraged, and Stevo loses control! It hurtles at terrifying speed towards the dinoPANZER on the ground!
Fire the lasers at the Dinotank, then I think we should be of to go and see to Robostalin
“Arrrggrg!” shouts
Archimedes as he struggles to stay upright on the revolving dinosaur.
“You’re doing it wrong! You’re bloody well doing it wrong! Don’t point it at the ground! Pull up! PULL UP!”“Look, if you’re such a bloody expert,” says
Steve Irwin, unstrapping himself from his seat and opening the door in mid-flight,
“Why don’t you drive? Eh? Let’s see ho-arrghhhhhhhhh!!”All of a sudden the ground appears really bloody close, mate. The bowienauts are about to crash into the dinoPANZER at high speed! The pteroschmitt screams towards the rubble-strewn battlefield!
Steve leaps back into position without even doing his seatbelt back up and pulls hard on the controls! The wings and the engine groan and whine under the strain, but just as impact seems inevitable Stevo manages to violently throw the dinocraft into a climb, buzzing over the turret of the dinoPANZER as the bowienauts pass over it.
...Suddenly there’s a flash of light; a burst of sound; an enormous explosion! Stevo looks over his shoulder to see Archimedes standing on the back of the luftosaur, both hands on his solar laser array blasting fully automatic moon laser bolts into the Nazi armour below!
“Yeah! Take that!” Archimedes yells over the screech of the engine and the explosions of moon laser on the town square underneath.
“Take that you… you… you Nazis! Take some maths!”Direct the shocking power of my BEAR-MOUNTED COIL towards the enemies nearest the team of Bowienauts.
Charging forth on his electric polar bear,
Nikola Tesla suddenly halts his Nazi dinoPANZER hunt. One of the dinoPANZERS has turned and fired at some unseen foe! And a foe of a dinoPANZER is a friend of Nikola Tesla’s. He looks carefully upwards.
There seems to be a hijacked Nazi pteroschmitt approaching the battlefield in a vicious dive! It’s whining like a stukosaurus as it comes in for the attack! No! Wait! It seems entirely out of control, and there seems to be an
Aussie National Hero straddling its neck and wrestling for control of the beast! Tesla can just about make out
a crouching man with an antiquated rifle a couple of feet away from
a robed figure standing behind some scientific apparatus on the back of the dinocraft.
His interest is piqued.
Science.
Hmm.
Suddenly he ducks in fear: the dinosaur appears to be doing a barrel roll! It appears to be entirely out of control! It hurtles despairingly towards the lead dinoPANZER, but at the last second control is wrested back and it flings itself lovingly into the sky, an arc of joy bursting off to safety as cosmic lunar laser rays begin to shoot on fully automatic off the back of the pterowaffeschmitt!
Traces of moon laser cascade down, until suddenly the dinoPANZER bursts into flame! A second later there is a echoing explosion, and the dinoPANZER shatters and blasts in a ball of fire a hundred feet across!
“Yeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaa!” Tesla swears he hears whistling away into the night sky.
“Take my maths, you Nazi bastards!”Morale boosted and joy renewed at the realisation there is but one Nazi dinoPANZER left before him, Tesla is spurred on in his Nazi-hunting quest and rides his electrified bear towards the sole survivor. With the reins in his teeth, he stands on the back of the bear, arms spread wide as he accumulates the electricity necessary to blast the foul armoured fiend to smithereens!
...Suddenly, just as Tesla is about to release the terrifying power building up in his bear-mounted coil a thousand migrating frogs rain back down to earth, tumbling all about, making ground and bear slippery with frogness. The bear rears in mid-charge, terrified by the sudden onslaught of awful amphibians. Nikola Tesla loses his balance! He falls backwards! He releases the shocking power of his bear-mounted coil before he can regain his footing, and only manages to electrify the damnable frogs raining down upon him!
As dozen after dozen of vengeful frogs electrocute the lightning lover, Tesla falls from his bear-mount, and smashes to the ground!
Wound Acquired: Nikola Tesla:
Bleeding Chest!Dazed, Nikola Tesla crawls up to raise his head, palms flat on the ground. He seems to see a ray of musical energy rise into the sky, scattering vertically migrating frogs as it shoots upwards like some kind of signal. Just before the turn ends he gets to his knees to see the wild-flying Nazi pteroschmitt swoop down over the battlefield, diving in to the source of the musical beam.
There is a joyous shout that reverberates across the town square.
"What are you waiting for, boys? Get me off of here!"Through the smoke of the burning dinoPANZERS he can just about make out the figure of a nineteenth century American frontiersman hang over the side and grab
Paul McCartney by the shoulders and swing him on the back of the tamed Nazi dinosaur.
Tesla rises to his feet and whistles sharply for his electric polar bear to return.
He is face to face with the surviving dinoPANZER!
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECTMount Acquired! Steve Irwin: Subdued Nazi Pteroschmitt. Five turns remaining.
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Level Three Crocodile Hunter
Status: -1 to hearing.
Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate.
Wounds: [HP:35/75] |
Right Ear Ripped Off!Skills: Croc Wrestler,
Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move,
Croc-rider,
Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, Level Three Beatle
Status: -1 to athletic movement. -1 to left leg use. +1 to impressing the ladies.
Inventory: Acoustic Guitar,
Speedoguts! Wounds: [HP:50/75] |
Titanium Guts! |
Right Leg Pimp Limp! |
Severed Left Leg! |
Light Head Wound!Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
That's a Catchy Tun-arrgh!,
Frog Chorus,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, Level Three King of the Wild Frontier
Status: In cover (+1 bonus to defence from that direction)
Inventory: Bowie Knife, Flintlock Rifle,
Boone,
Facial Protection Catmask,
Miaowskin-facehat, severed left arm (in face),
Armface.
Wounds: [HP:69/75] |
Severed Left Arm! |
Light Chest BleedingSkills: Crack Shot,
Ohio Leap,
MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT,
You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse, Level Three Philosopher
Status: -1 to left arm. Carried by Steve Irwin-controlled armed Nazi pterosaur.
Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit,
M60 Machine Gun.
Wounds: [HP:75/75] |
Bent Left Arm!Skills: Multiply This! Literal Mathemagics,
Archimedes Heat Ray,
Absent Minded! Player: FuzzyZergling
Name: Nikola Tesla, Visionary Scientist
Status: DIRTY HANDS Inventory: Tesla Coil – currently polar bear-mounted.
Wounds: [HP:70/75] |
Bleeding Chest!Skills: Strength of the Mad Scientist,
Master of Electricity,
The Electric Strangler,
Mysophobe The draft version of the end of Tesla's turn was probably worth keeping how it was:
SUDDENLY: FROGS.
AND A [1].
Author
Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued (Read 249378 times)