CHAPTER ONE: TURN TWENTY
Archimedes signals his friends to follow, then jumps into the tube.
Outta here, into the Tube. Try to avoid the London underground.
Heeding the
Timelord’s Magnificent warning,
Archimedes rushes past his friends out of the private lair and towards the monorail subway, signalling for them to follow.
...He’s almost dodged past the incoming crocobeasts when one of them suddenly turns to snap at his leg! Archimedes sidesteps the blow,
...but then the wilderdile headbutts him over and kicks him in the arm with his evil communist hoof! Archimedes feels his left arm snap as he crashes to the ground!
Wound Acquired! Archimedes of Syracuse:
Fractured Left Arm!Charge the wildocrocwhatevers and stab/bite them!
"It may be the blood loss, but I feel like a fight!" shouts
Davy Crockett, suddenly getting flashbacks of the wild frontier.
”Or it may be seeing my friends get cut down like grazing gazelles on the prairies! I’m comin’, ol’ Archimedes!”...Crockett charges the crocobeasts, sprinting to
Archimedes’s rescue, brandishing his bowie knife like some kind of one-armed knife-man as blood spurts from his shoulder stump. He leaps heroically croco-foot first into the melee:
...Boone misses with his first vicious bite, so Davy brings his blade crashing down into the crocobeast’s skull!
...The skull is smashed to pieces! The brain is severed! A tendon in the skull is split! The wilderdile is struck down!
In his blood-fury, Crockett picks up the severed but still beating brain, and lifts it to his gnarly fangs, taking a gory bite! He sheathes his knife and hurls the savaged brain at the nearest wildercroc,
...knocking it unconscious before he runs over and curbstomps it to smithereens! Boone starts eating the wilderdile’s legs, tearing one off and waving it violently about in his blood-dripping jaws! The nearest living crocobeast retches in panic!
Help Crockett with the fight!
Steve Irwin sees the democratic carnage
Junior Bowienaut Crockett is vengefully dealing out to the crocobeasts, and feels totally riled, mate! His eyes glaze over with a look of fury!
...A look of blood-fury!
Ignoring his fractured arm, Stevo sprints forward a few paces before launching himself through the air, flying into the retching crocobeast
...and getting its head in a chokehold with his left arm, whilst using his makeshift right arm bandage to knock the critter into submission! He tries his best to merely subdue the beauty, but in his rage he smashes his fractured arm right through the retching beast’s face! The nose is severed! The tongue is torn! The cheeks are broken and pierce the skull, tearing the brain! The crocobeast is struck down! Steve Irwin is covered in croco-vomit!
… … … … … …
Whilst the remaining wilderdile flees in terror,
Archimedes struggles to his feet, and then carries on dashing into the subway, leaping athletically over the stingray moat before treading gingerly out onto the solidified volcanic glass that fills the tunnel. It’s quite sharp! The other two follow as soon as
Stevo can drag
Davy and
Boone away from their corpse mutilation session: Davy’s face and head are covered in blood and brains!
Suddenly an enormous explosion rocks the entire building!
”Holy crap fellas!” cries Stevo,
”Earthquake! Duck and cover, mate! Oh crikey!”Paul McCartney grabs the rocket launcher and attempts to head through the secret escape hole again. If he encounters any solid walls blocking his path, he destroys them with rockets!
"Oh, crikey... did I just say crikey? Stevo's rubbing off on me.” says
Paul McCartney, to himself.
”There's no time to take down the crocodiles either!"Standing back as far as he can in his tiny hole, he flips Miaow’s rocket launcher to the setting that seems to say, in rather poor English,
Maximum Death Boom, before pointing it in the direction he thinks must be the exit.
...A flashing salvo of over two dozen rockets shoot forth from the rocket launcher, pulverising everything in their path, blasting a perfect man-sized tunnel through the side of the ancient communist pyramid! The burning back blast knocks McCartney backwards, burning his face and severely cauterising his wounds, sending a pile of rubble tumbling over his limbs, smashing his legs and breaking his arm!
As the dust and debris settles, McCartney can make out a ray of light several hundred metres in the distance!
Wound Acquired! Paul McCartney:
Fractured Right Leg!Wound Acquired! Paul McCartney:
Broken Right Arm!Wound Acquired! Paul McCartney:
Cauterised Guts!… … … … … …
An alarm beep sounds three times on the neurocomms interlink, before the voice of
His Magnificent Bowieness breaks through the static.
”Er, guys? Did anyone activate the pyramid’s self-destruct button by accident? No? Freaky. Our scientists have detected a sudden severe decrease in structural integrity, and estimate that the building is approximately three minutes from total collapse. I suggest you get out of there immediately, and I strongly suggest we change the extraction point. The roof isn’t going to be much use soon. Mick, patch me through to the bowiecopter doublequick. Dudes, like, the extraction point will now be in front of the commie pyramid rather than on top. You copy? Oh hey, I’ve got Marcus on line two. Timelord over and out.”
You are no longer “here” though – you are at the junction between the lair and the generator room, east of the kitchen stop.
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECTNone.
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Level Two Crocodile Hunter
Status: -1 to ranged attacks. -1 to smelling. -1 to wrestling.
Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate.
Wounds: [HP:75/75] |
Broken Left Eye! |
Fractured Nose! |
Fractured Right Arm!Skills: Croc Wrestler,
Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move,
Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, Level Two Beatle
Status: -1 to movement rolls. -1 to dodging and defence. -1 thinking penalty. -1 to strumming. -1 to left leg use.
Inventory: Acoustic Guitar Wounds: [HP:30/75] |
Cauterised Guts! |
Cauterised Gut Fat! |
Broken Guts! |
Fractured Guts! |
Slightly Bruised Head! |
Fractured Right Leg! |
Broken Right Arm!Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
That's a Catchy Tun-arrgh!,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, Level Two King of the Wild Frontier
Status: Severed arm. -1 to two handed weaponry. -1 to defence rolls unless wearing Facial Protection Catmask. -2 blurred vision penalty to ranged attacks.
Inventory: Bowie Knife, Flintlock Rifle,
Boone,
Facial Protection Catmask!,
Miaowskin-facehat, fractured and severed left arm.
Wounds: [HP:50/75],
Fractured Left Arm! |
Broken Face! |
Severed Left Arm! |
Heavy Left Arm Stump Bleeding! |
Heavy Head Bruising! |
Heavier Head Bruising!Skills: Crack Shot,
Ohio Leap,
You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse, Level Two Philosopher
Status: -1 to left arm.
Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit.
Wounds: [HP:75/75] |
Fractured Left Arm!Skills: Multiply This! Literal Mathemagics,
Absent Minded! 
Author
Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued (Read 249168 times)