CHAPTER ONE: TURN ELEVEN
(Paul Mccartney+(Water+Air+Sqrt(Ground))*Fire)*Fire.
Execute the above sum to fix up the problems.
Mumbling a hurried apology to the Last Beatle,
Archimedes starts making some strange symbols in the air with his hands, and then begins a mystical and mathematical Greek chant! As his hands whirl about his head, mathematical symbols seems to coalesce in the air above him, plus signs of fire and minuses of earth bursting into being a few feet over the bowienauts.
...Suddenly a fire ball forms and bursts off on its own down the southern corridor!
And then another!
And then a great ball of water blasts against the nearby wall!
And finally an enormous ball of mud shoots up into the ceiling!
The mud explodes on impact, showering the bowienauts in wet slimy dirt.
Search for the roll of bandages to fix McCartney's bleeding. Also, I say we outvote Davy.
Steve Irwin searches about on the floor, his non-broken eagle eye noticing the roll of bandages escaping
Archimedes' hand as he collapses to the floor. He searches high! He searches low! His search becomes more desperate as he sees the ever increasing puddle of Beatle blood staining the concrete under his feet.
Wide-eyed with worry for his musical and bleeding friend, he looks down low! He looks down high!
...Suddenly his face is showered in mud, and his eye is plastered in thick, slimy, sticky brown goo!
But this is Steve Irwin! A bit of brown goo never bothered hi-
"OH JESUS CHRIST MATE! CRIKEY! I'VE GONE TOTALLY BLIND FELLAS!"Stevo starts shouting at the top of his voice, and rushes screaming through the eastern door! He knocks it straight down, and starts running in the direction of the Main Barracks, wildly flailing his arms!
Wound Acquired! Steve Irwin:
Gone Totally Blind Mate!Paul McCartney waits a minute to see if his companions can do anything for them, then directs the group to head crashing through the western door.
Waiting for a minute or two to see if his comrades might be able to help him with his heavy bleeding problem,
Paul watches with growing – yet mild-mannered and chirpy – frustration as fire, mud and
Australians fly noisily all around him.
"Bloody hell man," he despairs.
"We're meant to be a crack team of working class her-errrr bowienauts on a dangerous lightning quick stealth mission to save the worlds! Come on men, this way. It says Main Exit but that's probably just a decoy or something."...Paul crashes through the western door, leaving a trail of friendly Liverpudlian blood as he suddenly comes face to face with a handful of surprised cattybara guardsmen.
Suddenly he feels the rough manly hand of
Davy Crockett on his shoulder!
Go retrieve my companions, stop them from bleeding, and drag them back to the monorail.
"Blasted fools," mumbles Davy Crockett to himself, quite reasonably.
"They wouldn't last one day in the Ozarks. Hell, they probably wouldn't last in the Appalachians."The
King of the Wild Frontier rushes up the northern passage to his stranded co-bowienauts, only to be met with a scene of bewildering carnage. The eastern door is smashed down, the floor is slick with blood, the walls and ceiling are dripping with mud, and
Paul McCartney is face to face with several communist guardsmen!
Steve Irwin is nowhere to be seen!
"Here," starts Davy,
...lopping a cattybara's head off with his bowie knife as calmly as if he was going for a Sunday stroll and then slamming the Western door shut,
"You're hit pretty badly there Paul. What the hell happened to you guys? Here, I've got a traditional remedy I learnt when I was but a young apprentice woodsman. Now, close your eyes a second, this might sting a little..."...Davy Crockett punches Paul McCartney in the face!
...He knocks him to the floor and drags him by the feet towards the monorail!
Wound Acquired! Paul McCartney:
Bruised Head!A thick trail of blood is left behind the two bowienauts as
Archimedes comes to his senses by the cargo elevator.
"Whoa man! Did you see that fireball?! Oh, hey, wait! I say! Chaps! What about Stevo?"
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECTNone.
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Level Two Crocodile Hunter
Status: Broken eye. -1 to ranged attacks. Fractured nose. -1 to smelling. Bloody. Muddy. Blind. Screaming.
Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate, Turned Chinese Red Crocodile (healthy).
Wounds: [HP:75/75] |
Broken Left Eye! |
Fractured Nose! ǀ
Gone Totally Blind Mate!Skills: Croc Wrestler,
Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move,
Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, Level Two Beatle
Status: Bleeding. -1 to intelligence. Being dragged by his feet to the south.
Inventory: Acoustic Guitar Wounds: [HP:50/75] |
Heavy Neck Bleeding! |
Heavy Upper Body Bleeding! ǀ
Bruised Head!Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
That's a Catchy Tun-arrgh!,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, Level Two King of the Wild Frontier
Status: Fractured arm. -1 to two handed weaponry. Covered in blood.
Inventory: Bowie Knife, Flintlock Rifle,
Boone.
Wounds: [HP:73/75] |
Fractured Left Arm! |
Light Gut Bleeding!Skills: Crack Shot,
Ohio Leap,
You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse, Level Two Philosopher
Status: Bruised backside. -1 to remaining stationary. -1 blurred vision attack penalty.
Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit.Wounds: [HP:75/75] |
Bruised Backside! |
Heavy Head Bruising!Skills: Multiply This!,
Literal Mathemagics,
Absent Minded! One could make the argument that the most logical direction to head to Texas here in China is down.
That's not what googlemaps said. They said the most logical direction involved a 6000 mile kayak.
P.S. - Didn't feel like any bold today.
P.P.S. - Someone save that poor Beatle!! He's the last one!
Edit: Apologies for the awful rushed errors in this, some of which I corrected before posting and then somehow lost. Derrr! Anyway, not sure what happened with the map - I'm not on my normal pc so can't correct it, but yes, Paul McCartney is towards the south with
Archimedes and Davy Crockett, who dragged him there. Somehow I put another S and not a D.
Steve Irwin is indeed towards the north east.
Author
Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued (Read 249590 times)