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Author Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued  (Read 249579 times)

Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #825 on: May 22, 2013, 12:11:33 am »

Reverse Seximated.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Tiruin

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #826 on: May 22, 2013, 08:28:35 am »

Decimated is actually killing one person in 10. IE, 90% survives.
...But that still equals 100% dead because the person was killed! Unless...90% of his body is alive via decapitation of the 10% :S
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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #827 on: May 22, 2013, 08:33:01 am »

So wait, if we kilomate someone, does that mean we destroy them 1000 times over?
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #828 on: May 22, 2013, 10:14:44 am »

"Hey baby, wanna gigamate?"
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

lawastooshort

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #829 on: May 23, 2013, 03:30:01 am »

So er... any non mating related, for example, ACTIONS?

I'm looking particularly at Archimates and freeformgigamater here.

I've done a poster for the movie of the book of the game:


This was a slightly too busy looking one:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: May 24, 2013, 06:28:10 am by lawastooshort »
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Thirteen!
« Reply #830 on: May 23, 2013, 10:00:48 am »

Archimedes finishes his prayer, then looks at the pimperator. Then he looks at the pimperator'car. He looks behind the Pimperator's car, hoping that maybe the miracle was hiding there.
Must've gotten wrongly connected or something. Reception is quite bad underground, I presume. Well, we have to make do with what we have.

Archimedes: Multiply attack powers.
Hulkimedes: Continue smashing plot important people. If possible, use solar mirror.
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Fourteen
« Reply #831 on: May 24, 2013, 06:24:51 am »

THE ASSAULT ON THE DINONEST: TURN FOURTEEN!

Initiative face off: DINOHITLER VS SCHRODINGER’S CAT!

Roll d100!

DINOHITLER: 9!

SCHRODINGER’S CAT: 4!

Pitiful!

DINOHITLER'S BRAIN PART: The Evil Center (about 43% of dinobrain)
Action: Engage Total War, eat Schrodinger's Cat to both heal wounds and fulfill petty evil act quota for now.

DinoHITLER suddenly summons FOUR ravenous, mighty Elite Dinonazis! They order a coffee!

And then there was the furball, hurled at the Roman Legion.



Stats, hopelessness and vomit leave a bad taste in the Cat’s mouth.

And then the Cat leaves a bad taste in DinoHITLER’s mouth!

Except he doesn’t, because DinoHITLER ate one of the cat holograms!

But then the two remaining possible cats start choking on a miniblackhole and one of them disappears! Only the real Schrödinger’s Cat remains! It rolls about on the floor squealing and hacking!

Suddenly a badger runs past!

The holocat doesn’t heal DinoHITLER’s wounds, unfortunately.

"TARNATION!" booms ENORMOCROCKETT. "THAT IS A MIGHTY FINE DISPLAY OF VOMITING, IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF!"

He wonders what that severe tickling feeling is. He looks down.

"HEY! THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE GUTS!"

Initiative face off: ENORMOCROCKETT VS OTTO VAN DINO AND HIS CRONIES

Roll d100!

ENORMOCROCKETT: 66!

OTTO VAN DINO AND HIS HOMIES: 19!

MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT the annoying Otto Von Dino and his cronies all over DINOHitler!  Lament how neither of those have complete stat blocks!



Brushing them off like so much… nazi dust, ENORMOCROCKETT MIGHTY TEXAS DROPKICKS his gut-slasher like a Texan rugby ball right into DinoHITLER’s DinoFACE!

Wait actually I have to roll for that too let’s not get carried away.

WOUND ACQUIRED: Otto Von or Van Dino: Broken Head!

WOUND ACQUIRED: DINOCRONY 1: Severed Thighs!

WOUND ACQUIRED: DINOCRONY 2: Bleeding Face!

WOUND ACQUIRED: DINOCRONY 3: Fractured Face!

Suddenly Otto van Dino’s statblock appears from the other thread, boosting ENORMOCROCKETT’S MORALE!
Spoiler: Otto van Dino (click to show/hide)
And just as suddenly DinoHITLER’s wounds appear!

WOUND ACQUIRED: DINOHITLER: Severed Guts!

WOUND ACQUIRED: DINOHITLER: Bleeding Skull!

WOUND ACQUIRED: DINOHITLER: Severed Left Leg!

Engage secret technique: Like a 6-year old! Bite his face off! The Dino Squadron shall help Otto in these activities.

Otto van Dino – broken, severed, but not beaten, falls off his dinofuhrer and rushes back across the battlefield to take vengeance on the ENORMOCROCKETT.

After a half mile run up, they leap as one – at Davy Crockett’s HIDEOUS FACE!

Halfway through the leap, Otto van Dino realises Crockett has a broken face and a severed face and a protected face, and so maybe this target isn’t quite the optimal target for a dinonazi raid. They break formation and attack targets of opportunity!

Otto doesn’t manage to change course in time, and bounces harmlessly off ENORMOCROCKETT’S enormoface! He falls to the floor, tumbling and turning and just making out one of his homies scratching viciously at the enormoface as he falls, and as he lands he spots another dinoHOMIE scratch out Crockett’s guts!

HIS FAVOURITE GUTS!

WOUND ACQUIRED: Davy Crockett: Bleeding Face!

WOUND ACQUIRED: Davy Crockett: Bleeding Guts!

Initiative face off: PAUL MCCARTNEY AND THE BEATLES VS THE SEXIMATED ROMAN LEGION VS THE PIMPERATOR!

Roll d100!

PAUL MCCARTNEY: 13!

SEXIMATED ROMAN LEGION: 58!

THE PIMPERATOR: 38!

Quote from: The Remains of the Romans!
Charge the Beatles!


The two hundred and twenty five Romans charge, two taking on each of the remaining Beatles.

The massed ranks of short stabby swords are all but ineffective, and only Paul McCartney’s left arm is heavily sliced up!

Wound Acquired: Paul McCartney: Sliced Up Arm!

Quote from: The Holy Roman PIMPERATOR
SEXIMATE THE ENEMY! SAVE PAUL MCCARTNEY!


The Pimperator Marcus Aurelius leaps in to save Paul McCartney!

He seduces the front rank of Romans into helplessness!

Quote from: PAUL MC
Resist the enemy!



Paul and the Beatles cut down the helpless Romans as their knees quiver before the Pimperator’s Gaze!

George slays seventy two innocent nazi Romans with his guitar, but Ringo and Paul are still too high on drugs!

Oh well.

Archimedes: Multiply attack powers.
Hulkimedes: Continue smashing plot important people. If possible, use solar mirror.




Hulkimedes ums and ahs and tries to work out who is a plot important person.

OH NOES!

He charges at his brother Archimedes, smashing him over the face with a solar mirror!

ARCHIMEDES’ FACE IS SLICED OFF!

Wound Acquired: Archimedes: SEVERED FACE!

Despite bleeding all over the place from his face, Archimedes still has time for maths!

Archimedes ALWAYS has time for maths!

Archimedes maths so hard that all his clothes fall off and the forces of good receive a +2 maths bonus next turn!

Suddenly an evil sounding voice shouts evilly.

"Minions! Romans! Servants of Evil! Lend me your rears!"

Holy crap it’s Heinrich Hamster again!

"By which I mean get your lazy asses between dinoHITLER and the enemy! Protect the dinoFUHRER!"

He directs every last Roman legionary to get between dinoHITLER and the forces of good! They shift formation and form a solid of Roman in front of the dinoFUHRER!

Distract the enemy by being an adorable Nazi hamham!

Taking his place in front of the seximated Roman legion, Heinrich the Hamham takes a nearby peanut and chews it as cutely as he can.

Every Roman Legionary is so distracted by his cuteness that they try to stroke the nazi mechahamster!

Quote from: Steve Irwin
Stop self from bleeding to death by using crocodile and then kamicroc at DinoHITLER if it won’t work.



Alone amongst hundreds of people, both good and bad, Steve Irwin rides his crocodile as hard as he can at his blood in a last ditch effort to not die.

It totally fails mate! Crikey!

Feeling his lifeforce draining away, Stevo, Professional Australian and Croc Hunter. Destroyer of Evil, knows there is only one thing for it.

A FIFTY MILE AN HOUR KAMICROC CHARGE AT DINOHITLER!

He revs the croco-engine!

He shoots forward!

He only reaches about 30 miles per hour, but he still manages to fly through the air towards DinoHITLER’S nasty nazi dinoFACE!

Stevo penetrates DinoHITLER’S severed face.

He lodges deep within DinoHITLER’S exposed head!

Stevo utters one last desperate but joyful cry as he dies for freedom:

”STREWTH! FOR AUSTRALIA AND FREEDOM! CRIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!”

STEVE IRWIN AND THE CROCODILE DETONATE!

DINOHITLER’S BRAIN IS SEVERED!

WOUND ACQUIRED: DINOHITLER: SEVERED BRAIN!

At least it might improve his painting.

Spoiler: Detailed Poster (click to show/hide)

VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
Spoiler: EFFECTS IN EFFECT: (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: May 24, 2013, 06:53:11 am by lawastooshort »
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #832 on: May 24, 2013, 08:55:35 am »

o7

One ENORMOSALUTE for a fallen hero.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #833 on: May 24, 2013, 10:54:40 am »

o7

One ENORMOSALUTE for a fallen hero.

((On another note, velociraptors are about as large, and as dangerous as the average modern day chicken. Wonder how they taste.))

Edit: On another note, when did Heinrich Hamster get out of Enormocrocket?
« Last Edit: May 24, 2013, 10:59:00 am by 10ebbor10 »
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #834 on: May 24, 2013, 10:57:22 am »

((Maybe that's why things like alligator taste like chicken.))
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #835 on: May 24, 2013, 10:59:42 am »

((Maybe that's why things like alligator taste like chicken.))
((Nah, that's just because chicken tastes like muscle, and quite a few animals got those))

Edit: Anyway, the face 's got to wait, I got some more important things to do.
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #836 on: May 25, 2013, 02:50:52 am »

Well, it appears DinoHitler is calling in reinforcements. This might prove to be a quite interesting battle, I believe. Though I do believe we had some allies somewhere.

Come'on chap, help me with this.


Archimedes: Fire solar laser, Hulkimedes: Fire solar laser

Both lasers gather the ambivolent light of evil darkness in the cave, and beam up, towards the ceiling (just above DinoHitler, for reference), piercing the rocks, moving upwards through stone and debris, before beaming of into the distance.

A clear signal, that hopefully should convey a message of light and hope into the heart of the Belgian States of America, and their fearless leader Monsieur Kennedy, so that they can bring a message of fire and shrapnel into the heart of Dinohitler.

((If time left, reattach face and help Enormocrocket if needed))
« Last Edit: May 25, 2013, 05:13:01 pm by 10ebbor10 »
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #837 on: May 25, 2013, 02:40:08 pm »

"TARNATION! I APPEAR TO BE ENORMOBLEEDING!  LUMITHOS, I ENORMOBESEECH YOU!"

ENORMOFIRE the White Speedo at the entire Roman Legion!  Heal myself with their essence!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #838 on: May 25, 2013, 02:49:18 pm »

what

augh

I keep missing turns somehow. Gimme a sec.
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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Turn Fourteen!
« Reply #839 on: May 25, 2013, 03:07:16 pm »

: "NNOOOOOOO! STEEEEEVE!"

Paul McCartney is stunned. On one hand, he's thankful Aurelius, the Pimperator, jumped in battle to save him as the Beatles were stoned out of their minds.. On the other hand, if they don't defeat DinoHilter, Stevo's sacrifice would be in vain.

"So this is really it, huh? Beat the Di-nazis and I go back to Luxembourg? I think we need a song for this. Hold on while I I strap this around my left should - hard to play with a sliced up arm!"

Two small amps appear through the power of Marijuana Magic! They very slightly increase the amplitude of his song!

"This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
 No silent prayer for the faith-departed"


Paul scratches his chin for a sec.

"Hmm - this isn't really my kinda tune. I think, when I get back, Mr. Jovi might be able to do it more justice."

Paul pulls up his pants and tunes his keyboard leg for the +1 music bonus!

"I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
 You're gonna hear my voice
 When I shout it out loud"


He points his guitar toward the ailed ENORMOCROCKETT - their last hope against DINOHITLER!

"It's my life
 It's now or never
 I ain't gonna live forever
 I just want to live while I'm alive"


Paul McCartney wills Crockett to get better - ALL THE TIME!
« Last Edit: May 25, 2013, 08:21:15 pm by freeformschooler »
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