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Author Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued  (Read 248627 times)

freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Assault on the DinoNest: Turn One!
« Reply #720 on: January 09, 2013, 02:06:17 pm »

I think I keep forgetting this because I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing.

Paul McCartney finds himself just moments away from a DinoNAZI onslaught in front of him! He decides to reroute and continue his original mission.

Advance to the doors with Crockett!
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Assault on the DinoNest: Turn One!
« Reply #721 on: January 10, 2013, 06:06:51 am »

I think I keep forgetting this because I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing.

This worries me. I think I am finding it difficult to keep it focused because I am very sleep deprived and also finding it difficult to get updates out as quick as I’d like. It is particularly worrying because a previous rtd died because of my lack of focus.

It should be easy to remember what you are doing: busting into DinoHitler’s lair and assassinating his ass before you all die crushed beneath the forces of the DinoNazi empire. I apologise for its not being so.


To make amends and to make it less clear what is going on I am contemplating making the whole entire next turn out of MS Paint drawings*.


Also, anyone want to make another suggestion for Steve Irwin? He’ll just continue fighting if not, or something.


* bear in mind I have neither tablet thing nor drawing skills.
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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Assault on the DinoNest: Turn One!
« Reply #722 on: January 10, 2013, 03:50:13 pm »

My suggestion should be overwritten in favor of someone not playing, but Steve Irwin:  Start throwing crocs at the machine gun nests to cement the distraction.  Should "Crikey" and make references to "chundering."
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

lawastooshort

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Assault on the DinoNest: Turn One!
« Reply #723 on: January 10, 2013, 04:30:46 pm »

Sneak preview of the next turn!



I really should not carry on with this idea. I did one during my lunch using photoshopped heads and explosions, but left it on the other computer.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2013, 10:26:53 am by lawastooshort »
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Turn Two: Never Again!
« Reply #724 on: January 11, 2013, 11:18:51 am »

THE ASSAULT ON THE DINONEST: TURN TWO!

Restore bandages to face.  Fire a HE salvo at the door/nests while Boone eats the nearest croc.  Advance to the doors!





Somehow covering his face back in bandages (on which someone has drawn a face), Davy Crockett stops floating away on a tide of sick and decides enough is enough!



These doors must end now!

"Gentlemen, time to open a road!" he mistakenly shouts as he opens the giant doors the only way a no-armed frontiersman knows how!



The steel nazi doors blow apart in a mighty flash!

The way into DinoHitler’s Evil Lair is open!

Unfortunately Boone is too busy trying to swallow an entire crocodile to enter just yet.

[I couldn’t draw this but just try to imagine a no-armed frontiersman with a crocodile’s head on his foot and the crocodile’s head is trying to get his jaws round another crocodile but failing and then getting a bit bored.]

Undeterred, Crockett blows the evil nazi machine gun nests up a bit!

He wipes them off the face of the Earth!



Paul McCartney finds himself just moments away from a DinoNAZI onslaught in front of him! He decides to reroute and continue his original mission.

Advance to the doors with Crockett!



Meanwhile, Paul thinks he should advance to the doors with Crockett, but Crockett’s not there! He meanders vaguely towards Davy Crockett holding his guitar, totally ignoring the hordes of Nazis all around.



Archimedes will help Steve Irwin, and this time resorting by evolutionary medical practises*
The Other Archimedes will indiscriminately open fire against all Dinonazis.



Somewhat more usefully… no… wait.

At least starting with a useful intention, one of the Archimedes (probably the original one given what’s coming next) approaches Steve Irwin.

”I say!”

”Crikey mate! Me bleeding arms and legs are bleeding!”

”Nonsense!” declares Archimedes, before going off to encourage Archimedes.

Archimedes is wielding his M60!

                     

Yay!

*Hiss hiss*

The Cat looked on at the four facing it. Outnumbered by such reptilian foes, how could a simple feline fight back! Its human allies were just too busy!

And then he felt a furball coming up with no time to aim it!

In retrospect, finding a higher vantage point to clamber up to sounded like a better idea...But the furball took priority.


Nearby, the Cat is faced with four crocodiles! Oh noes! But… then… he feels a quantum furball coming up… he aims…



He misses!



Double oh noes! Suddenly a mini-black hole is on the loose!



Quote from: Four Crocodiles and One Crocodile
Bite the cat and claw the human.

Far far away, the narrator thought OH GOD NO I CAN’T PRETEND TO DRAW ANYMORE and suddenly the four crocodiles charged as one at Schrödinger’s Cats!

 

The two holographic cat projections are swiped in half by the nasty Nazis… But the real one sidesteps and claws out the crocodile’s guts! He rolls over on the floor in a pile of intestines and blood!



The last crocodile is relentless, and charges forward to measure himself against that enemy of crocodiles everywhere: Steve Irwin!

Stevo pivots and throws the onrushing croc over his shoulder a bit like Vladimir Putin might, swivelling round, grabbing his tail and smashing its head against a nearby rock until nothing is left!

Stevo is covered in blood and pus!



Quote from: Remaining DinoNazis
Desperately surrender!

Seeing the horrific brutality, the remaining DinoNazis decide against surrendering. They all flee, and run blindly into the crocodile pit!

There is a sound of gnashing teeth.

Quote from: The Voices In Steve Irwin’s Mind
Steve Irwin:  Start throwing crocs at the machine gun nests to cement the distraction.  Should "Crikey" and make references to "chundering."



Without even blinking, Stevo rushes the last croc, splashing through the Crockett vomit as he runs.

”Crikey mate!” he shouts, ”Someone’s been bleedin’ chundering! Crikey!”

He picks his victim up by the teeth, swings him round his head, and throws him at the burning machine gun nests!

”Have that, you chundering eejit!” he cries, getting slightly confused. ”Crikey!”

The remaining crocs flee!

The way is clear!

DinoHitler lies ahead!

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)

VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT:
The bowienauts have +1 maths bonus to attack rolls for the next turn.

Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: January 13, 2013, 03:04:46 pm by lawastooshort »
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Turn Two: Never Again!
« Reply #725 on: January 11, 2013, 11:47:36 am »

I don't know- it makes for nice variety.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Charge forward into the doors!  Lay down suppressing high explosive fire should resistance be encountered!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Turn Two: Never Again!
« Reply #726 on: January 11, 2013, 11:59:44 am »

A horse, A horse, my Kingdom for a horse

Archimedes 1: Help Steve Irwin. Yes, again.

Archimedes 2: Look for a horse. ((Really, I got to do something with that hippocratic oath, and I have a faint feeling it won't be helping people. ))

Spoiler: Credits (click to show/hide)
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monk12

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Turn Two: Never Again!
« Reply #727 on: January 11, 2013, 08:00:10 pm »

And now I'm tempted to do a silly MS Paint RTD. Except not really because I know it would be an absurd amount of work and I'm a lazy lazy man, but still, the temptation is there. I particularly appreciate Archimedes' Rambo treatment.

freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Turn Two: Never Again!
« Reply #728 on: January 11, 2013, 08:06:26 pm »

That was basically perfect.

And now I'm tempted to do a silly MS Paint RTD. Except not really because I know it would be an absurd amount of work and I'm a lazy lazy man, but still, the temptation is there. I particularly appreciate Archimedes' Rambo treatment.

Hey, IronyOwl and I did it :P

"Oh, bother! I'll go on without you all!"

Paul McCartney attempts to run through the doors to the DinoHITLER's base on his own! If they won't open, he smacks them upside the doorknob with his newly-indestructible guitar! He gives the doors a light smack for good measure anyway!
« Last Edit: January 11, 2013, 08:40:07 pm by freeformschooler »
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Turn Two: Never Again!
« Reply #729 on: January 11, 2013, 08:37:12 pm »

Do it monk and I want in.

Oh PS freeform Crockett's blown a big hole in the doors so no doorknob required.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2013, 08:39:00 pm by lawastooshort »
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Tiruin

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Turn Two: Never Again!
« Reply #730 on: January 12, 2013, 10:51:56 pm »

The cat just cleaned its paws, shuffling on the ground as it peered out into the wilderness, satisfied with the result.

Then it decided to Cling onto Davy Crockett for the ride and hopefully vault upwards to a higher vantage point, infiltrating the base thru them ventilation shafts or what'sit called.

And if that's not possible, Davy's clothes looked like a good vantage point too!
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Turn Two: Never Again!
« Reply #731 on: January 13, 2013, 03:10:38 pm »

Steve Irwin bump.

Anyone want to suggest whilst I wait?
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Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Are You There, Stevo Bear?
« Reply #732 on: January 13, 2013, 10:17:30 pm »

Wrestle my way through the air to help McCartney!!


(Sorry about the lack of... well, me. I've been really busy with sorting out my schooling for this year, since I just finished High school, last year.)
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Fate/Stay Night: OOC thread - Serious talk about the canon characters' bisexuality, gravity rape, Noble Phantasm balance, Tiruin's character level of dumbness versus naivete, how sick and tainted my mind is, linguistics and much more.

What more do you need?

lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Turn Three.
« Reply #733 on: January 14, 2013, 07:47:21 am »

THE ASSAULT ON THE DINONEST: TURN THREE!

A horse, A horse, my Kingdom for a horse

Archimedes 1: Help Steve Irwin. Yes, again.

Archimedes 2: Look for a horse. ((Really, I got to do something with that hippocratic oath, and I have a faint feeling it won't be helping people. ))



Being a famous mathematician, Archimedes knows about that thing about third time being lucky. SURELY IT CAN’T BE TRUE?

Realising his comrade Steve Irwin is in desperate bleeding arm and leg related trouble, Archy sprints over, tears off Stevo’s arm with his bare hands, and seals his terrible leg wound with the bloody stump! He’s practically as good as new!

”Crikey mate! Er… thanks?”

Wound Acquired: Steve Irwin: Severed Arm!

Determined to outdo his violently helpful doppelganger, Archimedes kind of finds a horse! And a massive hairbrush! Um.

Spoiler: OH GOD NO (click to show/hide)

Charge forward into the doors!  Lay down suppressing high explosive fire should resistance be encountered!



Davy Crockett looks on first with approval at Archimedes’ unorthodox medical techniques, and then with disgust at Archimedes’ new mount. His cheeks flush with a mixture of embarrassment and rage. He is a man, dammit! An American man! To prove the point he charges forward towards the open doors, guns blasting away in a storm of high explosive awesomeness!

Suddenly he realises there’s a cat on his head!

And he notices that he seems to have set much of the vomit around the doors on fire!

The fire is spreading!

Then it decided to Cling onto Davy Crockett for the ride and hopefully vault upwards to a higher vantage point, infiltrating the base thru them ventilation shafts or what'sit called.

And if that's not possible, Davy's clothes looked like a good vantage point too!




The aforementioned cat, licking its claws clean of crocodile guts as it gazes amongst the carnage of broken nazi bodies, thinks back to its past. He thinks back to his beloved teachers. Schrödinger. His mother Mewmew. That box that he thought was a fellow cat for at least three weeks after Schrödinger drew a pair of eyes on it. Ogami-dono, the blessed sensei of his ninja dojo.

Seeing Davy Crockett charge into battle, he quickly sprints the dozen metres between them, leaps onto Crockett’s head, hides for a second or two amidst the beavery undergrowth, and then backflips over the doorframe and onto the roof of the DinoNest!

He searches!

He seeks!

He hides in the shadows!

Schrödinger’s Cat finds… a ventilation shaft!

He rubs his midriff up against it in satisfaction, spotting another shaft to his right as he does so.

He can’t quite decide upon which one he most wants to urinate.

Paul McCartney attempts to run through the doors to the DinoHITLER's base on his own! If they won't open, he smacks them upside the doorknob with his newly-indestructible guitar! He gives the doors a light smack for good measure anyway!



With Crockett advancing fearlessly without the rest of his friends, Paul McCartney ums. And then ers. And then reaches a terrifying decision:

"Oh, bother! I'll go on without you all!"

Running blindly forward, McCartney suddenly trips over a nearby piece of Crockett vomit, smacks himself in the head with his guitar, and rolls head over heels into the bubbling crocodile pit!

"Um. Hello! Bother!"

He seems to have made several new friends!

He can barely make them out amongst the virulent gut-froth!

Wrestle my way through the air to help McCartney!!



But never fear! Suddenly the one man in the known universe you’d probably choose if you were suddenly faced by seven hungry crocodiles suddenly appears, wrestling wildly through the air and landing just in front of the baffled Beatle!

”Crikey mate! Shame I’ve only got one bloody arm left, eh! Oh blimey, who’s been doing all this bloody chundering, mate? I’m bloody well waist high in vomit. Crikey!”

The crocodiles bare their teeth and advance!


MEANWHILE…


Meanwhile, in the entrance to the DinoNest, Davy Crockett, scarcely believably for all they had to do this turn was go through a very large open door, stands alone.

He is in the DinoNest.

”Chaps!” he says, momentously and to himself. ”We stand on the threshold of greatness! We are mere minutes away from destroying the greatest tyrant the universes have ever known! We are entering… THE DINONEST!”

In the semi-darkness, he can see that to the left of him lies a door. And to the right of him lies a door.

The left door is marked with a large picture, about three feet by two feet.



The right door is similarly marked by a large picture.



”Arg!” cries Crockett. ”What horror is this before me? What trap hast yon archfiend DinoHitler set for us?! A CHOICE OF DOORS??!”

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)

VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT:
None.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: January 14, 2013, 10:48:30 am by lawastooshort »
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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Chapter Five: Assault on the DinoNest: Turn 1
« Reply #734 on: January 14, 2013, 11:02:40 am »

Please note the vomit is not burning.

Yet.

Called it.



Crockett laughs- a deep, throaty laugh that sends his innards vibrating in a way you could see if the bandages were off.  A choice of two doors?  He is a Terror-Knight of Lumithos- a choice between two doors does not apply to him!


Use AP rounds* to blow a hole in the wall between the two doors!  Advance that way!


*That is armor piercing and not anti-personnel, right?  If I'm wrong, make that HE.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.
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