Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[TinyPirate]

Lord W: wow, what an epic! Not sure it would fit on a single page but it (and the others) are added to the pile, thanks all.

[Keldor]

Here's a poem I did for Kulettogum, a ways back.

Adil the engraver decided to float
Her wonderfully crafted felsite toy boat.
So she brought it down to the filling moat
But swim she could not, so her corpse did there bloat!

The story behind it is rather self-explainatory.  At the end of the great moat cleaning project, the levers were pulled to refill the moat with water.  At this time, a random dwarf decides to wander into the still empty moat for reasons unknown.  She's caught by the slow flood of incoming water, and, despite having ample opportunity to simply climb back up the conviently placed stairs back out, somehow manages to get herself cornered by the approaching rising water and drowns.

[beef623]

One of my more memorable ones was when this guy showed up:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Forest Titan Xolang Tusmnos Xogakstrogag has come!  An enormous three-eyed hummingbird.  It has a long, swinging trunk and it moves about carelessly.  Its lilac feathers are downy.  Beware its webs!

My dorfs were tucked safely away in the fort while he explored the countryside, then I got sieged. My fort was at the top of a waterfall with a bridge across the river. The gobbos were on the bridge when the titan jumped them. He knocked a couple off the bridge, over the waterfall then chased them down, killing them before they hit the river down below.

More recently, I embarked in a terrifying zone to try to see some zombie action. I embarked with 5 armed and trained axedwarves and immediately dug a bunker to hide in as I'd heard horror stories about the rain and fog in those type of zones. I'd just got settled in my bunker when I noticed my livestock starving. I pastured them outside and a cloud rolled in that instantly turned a mule into a zombie. He chased down and killed the rest of the livestock, then headed for my bunker. I stationed my military in the entrance hallway and thought I was ready for him. He completely demolished everyone except one child who ran out screaming ... right into the zombie cloud.

[beef623]

[edit]double post, sorry[/edit]

[twilightdusk]

In my most recent fortress where I'm focusing most of my resources to building a shrine to a volcano goddess overtop of a volcano, a Minotaur showed up and started beating everyone to death with a sheep's wool hood, until a random Beekeeper managed to punch it through the skull to insta-kill it.

[imperium3]

The whole early history of my fortress was pretty entertaining, but I'll confine myself to the story of the bronze colossus, and the militia commander...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In the year 271, Akrulatol was celebrating its eleventh year as a dwarven outpost in the centre of the great deserts. After much toil the site's aquifer had been breached and mighty halls carved out in the stone below. A vast pyramid was being constructed above this breach, while two smaller ones stood nearby, one filled with the coffins of those who had not survived to see the fort's prosperity, the other mostly empty. A hole in the ground west of the Great Pyramid marked a second and larger attempt at breaching the aquifer that had scarcely begun, and would allow much easier transit between the surface and the fortress.

Akrulatol was now considered a safe place. It had a small squad of soldiers in training commanded by the swordsdwarf Sigun Masusbomrek, and though it had once been threatened by such creatures as a cyclops and a great forest titan, they had been defeated single-handed by the great hero As Likotlular, wielding his mighty bronze pick.

In early 271, all of this changed. Behind the annual group of immigrants loomed a vast and terrifying shape - a huge creature made entirely of bronze. Its name was known to legend as Malduz Scratchclashed the Ace of Matching, and its goal was mayhem.

The migrants fled from this terror, but legs of bronze do not tire and it soon caught up with stragglers. A mist of blood filled the air as they were pulverised, and Malduz ripped the pig tail fiber cloak from a hapless blacksmith and used it to horrifying effect. Then, disregarding the remaining migrants, he headed for the fortress.

At first the dwarves thought they were safe, as the only entrance was fitted with traps even a colossus could not escape from. But   they had miscalculated, for the hole where the second aquifer breach lay was accessible from the surface, and it possessed a passageway leading to the rest of the fortress...

As Malduz's footsteps echoed in the passageway, Sigun Masusbomrek frantically mustered his squad for a last stand. They were lighty armed, mostly with bought weapons, and few of them were armed with steel. Meanwhile, As Likotlular fled to the bowels of the fortress in search of a steel pick, knowing that he could not hope to harm the colossus with a bronze weapon.

Sigun's squad was swept away by the cloak-wielding colossus, one by one picked off until the commander stood alone. He raised his *steel short sword* and dueled Malduz one-on-one, repeatedly dodging the powerful blows aimed at him and inflicting fractures with every counterstroke.

Eventually Malduz overextended himself, and Sigun brought his sword down on Malduz's cloak-wielding arm, severing it. But this was a terrible mistake. Enraged, the colossus simply kicked Sigun squarely in the chest, sending him flying across the room with so many internal injuries that no dwarven medicine could save him. Leaving the unconscious dwarf, Malduz began a deadly game of cat-and-mouse through the fortress.

Wherever he went, dwarves died. Blood ran down the halls, and fleeing dwarves were crushed against walls or hurled off the pyramid. Gibbering in fear, As Likotlular was finally forced to face the bronze colossus at the foot of one of the tomb-pyramids. He landed a single strike of his pick, before being kicked against a wall, then kicked again and again until he was reduced to jelly and the wall to powder. But his sacrifice allowed the few masons who had not completely lost their minds to band together and wall off the area, trapping Malduz there.

Today, in 287, Akrulatol is a vast and prosperous mountainhome, seemingly unassailable by forces within or without. But in the heart of the fortress, sealed in a cage of adamantine within a pillar of bronze and steel, together with the body of the militia commander who dared stand up to him... Malduz Scratchclashed the Ace of Matching... waits...

[dropzonetoe]

My most fun ever.

   I had build a small stable fortress and was besieged by a Titan(it was a cyclops) real early on.  I only had a few Dwarfs and no military even prepared so I quickly equipped an ad hoc militia.  Not realizing it, I made the Squad captain a female dwarf.  She and her husband charged into combat with around five other dwarfs.  They all died in the combat but her.  She had one of her hands torn off in the combat but she managed to keep consciousness long enough to kill the titan.  Her body was recovered by my newly promoted Doctor.  A trail of blood and vomit lead from the combat site to the front gate of the fort where she passed out from blood lose and dehydration.  It took many medical procedures but she pulled through and the loss of her husband grieved her almost to the point of death.
   She was cared for and tended too by the other dwarfs, who fed her and gave her water and changed her bandages for over a year of recovery.  One dwarf in particular was always doing this and I was not surprised when it came up they got married, and later, she had a child.  This whole time, she being the most skilled warrior in my base, stayed the captain of the guard.  Good fortune in trading and mining had help my fortress grow and my militia was starting to get some good weapons and armour of iron and steel.  The one armed captain of the guard wore all iron gear except a steel breastplate, and silver helmet.  A shield was strapped to her nub arm, a buckler to her other and in that same(and only) hand a she held the only steel weapon in the fort, a gleaming battle axe.
   The growth of my fortress had not gone unnoticed and goblin thieves started to appear. Most were killed by my Captain of the guard - in a few instances they were killed while she cradle her baby protectively behind the nub ended shield arm. These skirmishes pushed her skill up and thankfully it would soon be tested.  For in the lull of goblin raids a second Titan appeared.  It was a slow moving giant armored beetle with hundreds of legs. It's capriced body was as strong as iron and it was heading right for my fortress.
my militia now about 20 strong - a mix of crossbow dwarfs and heavy infantry head out to stop the beast.  Their bolts could not pierce its hide, and the maces and spears of the infantry could only dent its shell.  The captains axe however bit into it again and again.  As her troops attacked and died in vain, hoping to give her the time she needed to injure it.  She repeatedly slashed and hacked into it's massive head.  More than once the axe became stuck in the head and she had to hold on with one hand to dislodge it to attack again.  Finally the beast was bested and only herself and a single sword wielding squad leader were left standing.
Again the captain of the guard had bested a titan, but not without loss.
   That loss would be the downfall of the fortress. For as she laid resting in the hospital with a broken leg and ribs from the battle a goblin army ambush attacked and slew a traveling trader who was on his way to the fortress.  The trader and his guards were all murdered and the bloodied squad leader with a handful of new recruits attacked the goblins.  In the melee the squad leader having bested many of the goblins fell.  Only a couple of the ragtag militia survived that skirmish.  The body of the Squad leader was entombed in a legendary engraved marble tomb created by my master crafts dwarf in a grand chamber at the end over the burial hall. No sooner was the body laid to rest than a goblin horde appeared.  They stretched across the whole of the mountainside and they were supported by crocodiles, giant toads, and even a few ogres .
    The alarm was sounded and all the secondary doors were locked.  Every dwarf except the medical team scrounged for weapons and armour.  As dishonorable as it seems even the foul goblin corpses were raided for their gear to arm the young and old alike.
   A  group of hunters/crossbowmen were the first to die while attempting to slow the horde while defenses were prepared They were brought into hand to hand by a group  of pike and whip armed goblins.  A lone newly enlisted woodcutter held a last stand defending a unbarred water entrance.  his body lay mutilated over a pile of dead goblins and giant toads - a true hero.  The assorted militia squads waited milling around in the fortress behind the barred double great doors .  Soon a pair of ogres bashed down the front gate and the army poured in.  The front gate became a butcher shop of lost limbs and body parts, blood and vomit soaked the engraved floors and walls and the wounded and dead heaped on top of each other.  But even still the dwarfs were being overwhelmed.  Cunningly built traps skewered and caged those who had managed to come in secondary ways, but the main hall was being attacked.  With dwarfs dying everywhere the Captain of the guard hobbles with a broken leg into the battle creatures, ogres, and goblin fell before her might. So long was the battle and so great her pain that she was forced to leave it to go back to the hospital and have the doctors patch her up mid-fight.  She could not however stay away long and bloodied and in pain she hobbled out again to support the last of the wounded defenders.  With one last push she single-handedly slew every last enemy inside the fortress.   
With every bed in the hospital filled with wounded she began to drag the wounded into bedrooms and bandage, feed, and water them.  As she attempted to drag back the body of an unconscious and bloody crossbow dwarf she was ambushed by a dozen goblin archers who held the high ground on the side of a hill.  With no were else to go, a broken leg and ribs, and many untended wounds she charged up the hill, a couple of militia seeing the combat ran to help her.  Again and again the goblins shot her body and still she came up.  With dozens of arrows imbedded into the body she made it to the top of the hill and slew three of the goblins before their cruel blades hacked her down.  She gave her life however not in vain as the militia hacked down the remaining goblins and sent them fleeing.
   A great lamentation went through the fortress as everyone suffered the loss of loved ones and friends.  Many were buried, most died of their wounds as there were not enough medical dwarfs left alive to treat them.  The walking wounded fed the starving dying and hauled the corpses of the dead out in mass piles outside the broken front gates of the fortress.  The stink of the rotting bodies was so strong as to sicken any who dared to come close trying to recover fallen loved ones to bury them properly in the expanded catacombs.  A lone engraver not knowing what else to do, went back to work engraving the hallway he was working on before the battle.  Each section of the floor and wall was adorned with macabre and heroic images of both the captain of the guard and the squad leader.  He never finished the hallway as grief overtook him and in a fit of madness he murdered the last of the doctors. A wounded militia soldier killed him in the great hall.  With everyone wounded, dying or dead.  Slowly the last remnants of the fortress fell to their wounds, starvation, infection, and dehydration.

The last dwarf alive, a dying one legged craftsdwarf, watched in delight as the traps that lined the hallway to the great hall went off killing and injuring the goblin horde that had regrouped and now entered the fortress unopposed.  Before he was killed, standing amongst dead bodies, discarded belongings, and pools of blood, his last thought was a happy one... Dwarf recently enjoyed the sight of a well made trap.

That was the end of Diamondmirrors

[TinyPirate]

Wow! Epic!

[Leading_dorf_parts]

I posted these ages ago on Reddit. They involve the same fortress in a badlands valley.

The Tail of a Curious Ratwoman

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Her tail stiffens and she looks towards the roof of her cavernous home. What was that noise? She waited, listening intently. It was gone now. She lays her head back down on the furry body next to her. She awakens hours later the noise closer now, like scratching in the walls above. What could it mean? She sat perplexed. Never in her life had she heard such a noise. It was gone again. She stretches her furry arms and hops over to a pile of flesh. Her little fingers gripping the meat as she nibbles at it with her large razor sharp teeth. She wonders about the noise she had been hearing. Was it another pack of rat folk? Maybe those pesky Trogs were up to something. They had always had it out for her tribe after all. She quickly forgot about the sounds and went about her daily routine. Though, one really couldn't say if it was a daily routine, as it was always pitch black in her tribe’s cavern.

She carried her wooden spear loosely in her hand as she scurried from mushroom tree to mushroom tree. Her eyes scanning the familiar stalagmites that protruded from the cavern floor. She knew all of the best hiding spots and made sure to check them for creatures that might be out for a meal. As she approached the edge of her tribe’s territory she picked up a scent that was unfamiliar. She followed it cautiously, pressing her body to the floor as she moved, grip tightening on her spear. She crouches behind a small cluster of mushrooms and peers towards the source of the odor. Petrified, she stares at a group of creatures unlike anything she had ever seen. These short, almost hairless creatures sat around a pile of hot, glowing mushrooms. Their bodies covered in shiny scales that seemed to glow in the faint light. A few paces beyond them lay a pile of the Trogs she had worried about earlier in the day. It seems these creatures also had problems with the hairy menaces. What perplexed her the most, though, was the opening behind the creatures. She knew this part of the caverns well and it had never been there. “Where does it lead to?” she wondered. She knew she had to find out, but for now she scampered off towards her home. She had to show them!

Behind the same cluster of mushrooms she hid behind before, she now sits with a fellow tribe member. The creatures that had been there before were gone, leaving behind scraps of food and a pile of blackened shards where the glowing mushrooms had been. She led the way, slowly inching forward with her spear at the ready. Her tribe mate had his blowgun up as he hopped along behind her. She approaches a half eaten piece of food, picking it up slowly to inspect it. A noise echoes from the large opening, startling her. She jumps back pointing the tip of the spear towards it. She nervously inches forward, spear shaking in her hands. Her fellow rat man scampers forward and presses against the damp wall next to the opening, he cautiously peeks around the corner to inspect. After a moment he relaxes and gestures that it is safe. She continues her inspection of the camp site, rummaging through the piles of stone and foreign debris. A strange object catches her attention. Propped against a pile of stone is a shiny, sharp rock on a piece of wood. She picks it up carefully, not fully understanding its purpose. She soon loses interest and places the object where it was found. She heads over towards the opening in the wall to join her companion. The air seemed to be flowing towards this hole, rustling her black fur in the slight breeze. Her companion begins inching inwards, stepping silently on the smooth floor. She lets out a soft squeak in concern. Why was he going into this foreign place? If the creatures killed the Trogs, what would they do to them? He shrugs off her warnings and continues towards a large set of steps that sit at the back of the opening.

What seemed like an eternity had passed as they climbed up the steep steps. Sounds echoing down from above grew louder with every passing moment. They strained to pick up any scents but the airflow from the caverns below left their noses "blind". They slowly pressed on. Up. Up. Further up the never ending stairs. Every sound freezing them in place as they waited at arms. Finally, after a grueling climb they reached a long strange tunnel. The floors and walls of this place were perfectly flat and smooth. There were no rocks for them to hide behind if they were in danger. This place was very foreign indeed. She tugged at her companion’s tail, gesturing to go back down the winding steps. She was terrified of this place and its smooth walls. Again, he ignored her concerns and his curiosity pulled him forward. As they approached the far side of the strange hall they encountered something neither of them had ever seen. A great stone slab, seemingly out of place, sat against a wall. Upon it a loop of rock hung freely. She watched as her comrade put his hands flat against the slab and pushed. Nothing happened. He backs away and begins sniffing about as she does the same. Suddenly, a loud rattle and a click come from the slab. They panic huddle together against the cold wall, weapons at the ready. They hear a harsh series of noises come from the other side of the slab, then the hurried sounds of footsteps trailing off into the distance. After a long pause her companion slowly crawls to the slab. He presses his hands against it one more time, giving it a firm push.

Dim light floods in around them and they scurry to the nearest shadows out of instinct. They both slowly peer in around the edges of the doors to see a world that their people had never encountered. In the distant halls they see dozens of the strange creatures hurrying about, carrying objects similar to the one they had seen in the caves and more. The smell of exotic foods wafted around them tempting them inwards. They quickly scurried past the threshold of the slab, bodies hugging the ground as they ran to a pile of what seemed to be smooth wooden blocks. She watched curiously terrified as the creatures went about their daily life. They all seemed to have different coverings, some smooth and shiny, flowing like water; while others looked like they wore skins of animals. Occasionally she would spot one of the creatures she had seen in the caverns, slowly wandering about, observing the actions of all the others; its shiny covering gleaming in the dim light and his weapon rattling at his side. They were so absorbed by the strange goings-on around them they didn't notice the creature approach them from behind, both parties unaware of each other until it was too late.

She spins around as she hears the loud, harsh shouts of the creature behind her. Her back pressed in the corner between the smooth wall and wooden containers. She is frozen, unable to react. Without hesitation, her companion leaps up from their hiding spot, attacking the creature. He lashes out at its throat with his razor sharp claws, blood spilling onto the floor as it gurgles and collapses into a twitching pile. The others had heard the commotion and were all fleeing the area; all but one. The creature in the shiny coverings slowly approaches their location, his weapon gleaming in the light. He yelled over his shoulder to the other scale clad creatures. Her tribe mate turns, hissing at the group of creatures. She watches as he fumbles for his blowgun, dropping his dart on the smooth floor. As he reaches for it, one of the creatures sprints forward at incredible speed. With a lighting fast swing of his weapon, she watches her companion get cleaved in two at the chest. He twitches, looking at her with sorrow and confusion in his eyes as he bleeds out. The creature lets out a bellowing laugh as he inspects his kill then turns slowly to spot her pressed in the corner. He approaches slowly, an evil grin upon his face as he lines up his weapon with her neck. In a panic she bolts down the hall, in the opposite direction of her caverns. On all fours she bounds down the twisting halls, sliding around corners, tumbling over crates. She must live. She must escape this horrible place. Behind her she can hear the rattling of their coverings. They are so close. CLANK.

What had happened? Where did these rods of wood come from? She couldn't pry them apart no matter how hard she tried. She was trapped. Between the bars she watched her pursuers approach, huffing and wheezing. They laughed heartily and clasped hands. The slayer of her companion steps up to the cage poking between the bars with his weapon and speaks to her in his harsh tongue. She cowers against the opposite side of her prison, making herself as small as possible. Why had did they ever come to this place, she wondered. A group of the creatures gathered around her and began to lift her cage, carrying it slowly through the halls she had just run through. Through the bars she gazed out at the myriad of folk who stared back with mutual curiosity.

After a short haul through the many intertwined tunnels, they arrived at a large room full of cages similar to the one she was trapped in. Inside of them all manners of creatures she had never seen. Her prison was fastened in a corner of the room next to a large hairy creature that looked down at her with sad eyes. It let out a deep grumble and rolled over. One of her captors approached with a slab of stone in his hand, looked down at her then etched a symbol onto it. He turned and walked away, slamming the door behind him, sending her back into darkness...

ScorchedCasket the Burial of Heroes

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It was the Summer of 553 and ScorchedCasket was a bustling subterranean town with 100 or so citizens. The dwarfs who lived here were fat and careless, never stopping to think of the terrors in the wastelands that surrounded their happy home. Weapons lie dull, armor unpolished, and worst of all, traps unfinished.Some of the fisher-dwarfs had told stories to the town dwellers of gigantic animals that wandered the rocky basin. Scorpions as large as bears and jaguars that were even larger. There was an even more sinister threat to ScorchedCasket though, a threat which no one knew of until it was too late.

On a crisp morning just as the sun broke over the basin walls, the camels were making their daily migration past the freshly built walls of the town. A chicken clucked, sitting upon its nest of rope just within sight of the gate. It had been placed by curious dwarfs to try and lure the giants they had heard so much about out of the wilds and lure it did. From the haze a blinding flash followed by a thunderous crack. The chicken lay mangled and dead, but not before completing its mission. With a loud clank the cage traps it sat upon snapped shut, capturing two small but powerful creatures.

At the gate a dwarf who overheard the commotion begins heading towards the chicken's location. What he sees chills him to the bone. Before him A half dozen hideous goblins stand in the distance, attempting to pry their comrades from the cages. He turns to run, but it is too late. Standing in front of him is a large goblin in a gleaming helm, her pike glinting in the morning sun. She lets out a devilish cackle as she plunges the razor sharp blade into his chest. Hot blood spills onto the rocky ground for the first time in the history of this town.
A dwarf scampers down the loading ramp, leaving the heat of the morning behind him as he enters the darkness of ScorchedCasket. He has just seen his life long friend murdered in cold blood. He bursts through the doors of the barracks, huffing and wheezing as he approaches the Militia Commander. She doesn't want to leave her ale, but this dwarf that approached her believes they are being attacked so she begrudgingly follows. As they head towards the main gates a crowd forms and begins to follow. The commander selects a few from the group to assist her, chuckling as she tells them the "news". This will be the last time laughter is heard in the fortress for many years.

The doctor scrambles after a plump rat that scurries across his hospital floor. He hasn't had a proper meal in almost a year. If only the mayor would have listened. If only the military had the proper equipment. If only the traps had been laid. Where there were 100 now there were 18. Insanity gripped the once noble town of ScorcedCasket. Bedrooms fit for Barons, now mass graves. Grand dining halls now darkened tombs. Toppled statues and broken doors fill the now silent halls. But hope wasn't all lost. A sane few did their best to clean the never ending mess that filled their home. Day in and day out, they pulled bodies into makeshift caskets and threw rubbish into piles. They waited anxiously for the sounds of hooves on their streets, a sign of a caravan from one of the far off cities. It would be another year before they saw that day.

Forty-eight dwarfs call ScorchedCasket home now. Despite the grim news they received from the caravans, some still came. Doors re-hinged, bodies laid to rest. The new mayor led a vigorous campaign to secure the town with properly trained soldiers and traps in working order. He knew that the goblins would be back now that the caravans were visiting and this time ScorchedCasket would be prepared.

Horns of war sound in the distance as the sun breaks over the horizon. Dozens of goblins charge down from the plateau into the basin where ScorchedCasket sits. Citizens scramble to their assigned halls as the militia rushes towards the gate. They had trained for this moment since they arrived at the town and they knew what had to be done. They sat anxious at the bottom of the loading ramp, watching and waiting. What felt like an eternity passed. The metallic rattle of hilts on their greaves was the only sound they heard. Suddenly, a scream echoed down from the gates followed shortly by a body, mangled and broken. It slid slowly down the ramp with the large rock that had killed it. Then came a rush of armor clad figures, screaming as they ran down the ramp. Though, They didn't make it far. In their carelessness they didn't spot the traps lining the hall. With loud clanking, traps fell from the ceiling imprisoning all but one. The final foe stood fiercly staring into the darkness. Its Helm gleaming from the light above, pike pointed towards the darkness in preparation.

She didn't anticipate this level of resistance. All of her fellow goblins sit before her in cages. Behind her, the sound of a closing gate. She had no choice but to fight. What she didn't know was that she was one step away from being caught herself. She stands ready to react. A whistling bolt flies past her, slamming into the wall. She sidesteps, then rolls, hearing the telltale sound of a cage trap going off. Though, It wasn't enough as she falls victim to the next trap.

The doctor walks into the large chamber where the prisoners were kept. He peers through the wooden bars of their cages at them, naked and huddled in the corners awaiting their punishment. As he walks by the final cage, dread overwhelms him. He knows the goblin that stood behind the bars of the cage in front of him. He watched her murder his best friend years ago and now the time for revenge had finally come.

The fortress: http://mkv25.net/dfma/map-10668-scorchedcaskettheburialofheroes

Hope there aren't too many mistakes, I haven't modified them since they were submitted a long time ago.

[Shurikane]

While playing Legendary Lands, I once found myself confronted by what I remember as a Dark Shadow.  Either way, the beast was practically formless, quick, and incredibly powerful.  My militia of twelve legendary wrestlers got decimated in five seconds flat.

I barricaded inside the fort and bid my time.  Maybe the beast would leave on its own.  But no.

Somehow it found its way inside a completely sealed fortress, and it was tearing everyone a structurally superfluous new behind!

I drafted absolutely everyone and zergrushed the foul beast, giving way to an immense cat-and-mouse game within the confines of the fort as the pack of dwarves sought to somehow tie the shadow in a knot.  Practically every corridor was streaked with enough blood to make my people think I was filming a new episode of Berzerk.  There were body parts everywhere, precursor to an epic mushroom cloud of miasma.

With 90% of the fort killed and blown to pieces, we finally destroyed the beast, now down to only a handful of dwarves in a bad mood.  My only respite came in the form of a new, massive wave of migrants.

It wasn't even the end of it.  On the heels of the shadow was a lava wyrm, who proceeded to set the entire woodland on fire.  Barricading myself once more, I made preparations: an unholy corridor studded with spikes linked to a lever, all this within a room that could be sealed and then filled with pressurized water.

I lured the beast inside and quickly sealed the door.  The wyrm effortlessly melted my traps on the way, a pile of useless spikes in its wake.  It finally arrived at the center of my beautiful, red trade depot, and casually demolished it into bricks.

I pulled the lever.

Gallon after gallon of water poured out faster than Ron Jeremy could ejaculate inside a movie star.  I absolutely drenched the creature, intending on putting it out - but no no no, fuck no.  The thing was generating an ungodly amount of steam, and no amount of water could put that thing out.  I had completely immersed it in water and all it did was turn the trade depot area into a biblical-sized pressure cooker.  Unfortunately, I wasn't in the mood to prepare Thai chicken or express shish kebab.

I kept myself locked in, as more megabeasts arrived on the premises.  I drafted nineteen able-bodied dwarves and put them through the longest, most rigorous training regime ever to be seen to man.  They emerged as demigods, so skilled in the ways of the blade and blunt that they could shatter bones with a butter knife and slice legs off with a golf club.

the ensuing battle went down in history.

[Notoriety]

It's been a while since this happened, so I might have some of the details slightly wrong, and I don't remember any names.

I've never been good with the military. Most of the time I keep my dwarves safe through trap-lined corridors or by turtling with drawbridges and walls. In one of my fortresses, a human caravan arrived with trade goods. I had just been attacked by snatchers and goblins a few times, so I knew goblin ambushes were probably around. I was hesitant to lower the bridge. The humans lingered on the edge of the map, and it wasn't long before they were set upon by not one, but two goblin ambushes. The goblins slew some pack animals, and eventually disappeared from the map. Thinking they might have been chased off by the humans, I lowered the drawbridge to seize the now-abandoned trade items. Dozens of dwarves poured out in a constant stream of hauling jobs.

Of course, the goblins had either hidden or left before returning, for soon my haulers were ambushed (in retrospect this would have been an obvious trap in real life). The military eventually took care of them, but took heavy losses, and a handful of my dwarves had been injured. A good samaritan managed to rescue a young girl who had lost a leg and her parents in the fighting and her brother to a snatcher just before. She spent several years in a coma-like state, to the point where I was beginning to doubt that she would ever recover (it might be noted that this was before hospitals, so maybe that helped her chances). Caring dwarves continued to bring her food and drink, however, and she finally recovered.

When she awoke, the accumulated weight of these tragedies--losing her brother, her parents, and her leg--hit her all at once. I like to think she was also traumatized by the revelation that years had already passed. The burden proved too much, and in an instant she threw a tantrum, smashing furniture and attacking those around her. Before her loyal caretakers could calm her down, the Fortress Guard rushed past them and cut the girl down where she lay.

So ended a story of kindheartedness and futility.

[Muttonhawk]

Well I suppose little vignettes could be made from the anecdotes on the front page of the magma wiki. They're updating them more with the new version I think.

[Orkel]

Here's mine.

The fort was an aboveground fort called Tradedaubed. A baby lost both of his parents in a siege, and became depressed. The baby climbed up to my highest skyscraper and jumped down in an act of suicide. The baby fell on top of my prison building, but dwarves had no access on that roof so no one could find the corpse. Including me. I only found the corpse when a second depressed baby also jumped to his death from the same spot, and that's when I noticed the prison roof. I built a ramp leading there, the dwarves went and took the now-skeletal remains of the first baby, and what was left of the second baby, into their tombs.

Here's a picture of the fort to illustrate better. The babies jumped from Burj, down to the prison roof below.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

------------

Second story, takes place in another fort called Gillhames, this time an underground one with a small archer tower and small trap corridor above the entrance:

A dragon arrived. Thankfully I managed to kill it. Sent the soldiers with the highest shield using skill against it, backed up by a marksdwarf. The shield pros blocked the dragonfire and hacked it to pieces when they got close. The dragonfire that went past the soldiers unfortunately hit the shieldless marksdwarf that literally vaporized on the spot. His equipment is intact but he himself is nothing but a pile of ashes. Reminds me of comics. The dragon also managed to also destroy my drawbridge.

Soon after, a siege arrived. One of the axedwarves had gone very unhappy because his marksdwarf buddy got vaporized previously.

This is where shit started to go wrong.

1) Thanks to a pathing bug, another marksdwarf had ended up on a 1 tile size wall/pillar in the middle of my archer tower. I had built it there so the archers would stay on the edges near fortifications instead of sticking in the middle where they can't shoot. He was on top the pillar, with no way down and no way up, a perfect target for the approaching goblin bowmen. It's a strange bug that results in dwarves "jumping" to spots where there's no access to, with no way back down.
2) After the dragon had destroyed my drawbridge, I had built a new one. But I had forgotten to link it to a lever, so I couldn't pull it back to stop the goblins.

The archer got made a pin cushion with no way to escape.

3) The very unhappy axedwarf became miserable because another of his buddies died. Tantruming or berserking became highly likely.

The trolls rushed over the bridge first, in order to bash down my doors. I ordered my dwarves to build a wall in the hallway behind it in order to stop them. But they didn't build the walls because they are lazy fucks. My traps killed about half of the trolls, but the rest managed to destroy the doors, and together with 1 goblin spearman squad + 1 bowman squad led by a spearmaster and elite bowman, rushed into my fort through the opening.

This is where shit started to go right.

I sent my military to take them on. 3 axe lords, 1 pretty good swordsdwarf and 1 axe recruit. All of them have iron+steel+bronze armor, except for the recruit who is clad in full copper (good quality though).

A huge battle ensues in the 3 tile wide corridor leading to my main areas. The bowmen shoot a couple of my escaping civilians in their limbs, while my soldiers are killing them left and right, somehow managing to dodge most of their attacks. The silver arrows that did hit my soldiers hit the very few steel armor pieces, dinging off harmlessly, which was lucky on my part - they would have gone through if they hit iron or bronze. A couple of trolls got past the slaughter and slumbered into my bedroom district, where they promptly died of blood loss caused by the soldiers right before, without staying alive long enough to injure any civilians.

The recruit is being one lucky bastard, killing a couple of goblins and somehow not getting hit a single time, despite being dabbling in every single military skill including dodging, and not even using a shield, and being attacked several times.

The rest of the enemies start escaping, and GLORIOUS VICTORY. The miserable axedwarf became "fine", because of enjoying the immense slaughter. I fixed the doors and linked up the bridge for any future attacks. And removed that fucking pillar from the archer tower to prevent other dwarves bugging on top of it

Final casualties, a couple of civilians with arrows in their arms + legs, only death being Pillar Dwarf.

[TinyPirate]

Well I suppose little vignettes could be made from the anecdotes on the front page of the magma wiki. They're updating them more with the new version I think.

Yeah, that kind of thing is probably going to work best.

[Powder Miner]

A shield was strapped to her nub arm

Poetic license?
Because that's actually impossible. If she was carrying that, she was carrying it in the same hand.