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Author Topic: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!  (Read 104911 times)

Kathemenos

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #180 on: April 21, 2012, 03:54:06 pm »

I've got one that just happened.  A forgotten beast just showed up just as my miners caused a hole in my cavern wall by mining adamantine.  The creature, Spugac Quulastumeb Bobe Mup, a giant amber humanoid with two straight horns and webs, waltzed right in and within seconds had killed all of the miners and some other dwarves who were carting the adamantine ore away.  Spugac would web them then amble over and punch their skulls in.  He started up the stairwell to the main fortress, where he was intercepted by five of my soldiers.  He broke the upper spine of the first axedwarf, Unib Zonsherik, and started torturing him to death, gouging out both eyes with his horns and then ripping apart his cheek and breaking various bones with wrestling.  The other four, axedwarves and marksdwarves, attacked the beast with everything they had, repeatedly fracturing and chipping its body without even distracting it from shattering poor, broken Unib's toes.  Then, just as I was wondering if I needed to wall off the stairwell down to the caverns, Goden Beraved showed up with one of the two adamantine axes I had managed to make before the attack.  She walked up the beast and bit a chunk of its torso off to get it's attention ("The *Axedwarf bites The Forgotten Beast in the upper body, fracturing it!").  She dodged the one attack the creature had time to make, and then, in three swift motions:

Quote
The Axedwarf hacks The Forgotten Beast in the right lower arm with her adamantine battle axe and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The Axedwarf hacks The Forgotten Beast in the left upper arm with her adamantine battle axe and the severed part sails off in an arc! 
The Axedwarf hacks The Forgotten Beast in the lower body with her adamantine battle axe and the severed part sails off in an arc!

She then calmly went back upstairs for a beer.  My favorite part?  Looking at her status screen I see "She has been satisfied at work lately".  No kidding.  The others have nicknamed her "The Impure Symmetry" and I'm building her a tomb.
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StLeibowitz

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #181 on: April 21, 2012, 11:01:38 pm »

So the fortress of Ananumid - Nightfall - is chugging merrily along after the Louse War. The booze is flowing, food is plentiful, the useless immigrants are settling into their new roles in the rigid caste system; all seems well. But it seems that a conspiracy developed amongst the dwarves to depose their expedition-leader-for-life Marsuvees, and was revealed only by a deliberate act of treachery by a lowly farmer.

It started with a wood shortage. One day in the month of Malachite, the lumberjack Helicos was possessed by an unknown woodland entity, and promptly claimed the last log in the whole of Ananumid for his construction.

Three months pass and he still hasn't done anything. Meanwhile, the barrelmakers are clamoring for wood, the brewers are clamoring for barrels, and the farmers are placing one seed into all the empty barrels and preventing the upper-caste brewers from keeping the fortress alive. In desperation, word comes down from above: the axe of Helicos, the only one in the whole fortress (no wood for charcoal, coal deposits undiscovered), must be pried from his fingers and given to one who will use it for the good of society. An unknown (fortunately for him) farmer answers the call.

The farmer takes the axe, heading for the dump pile. As I watch, he passes the dump pile.
Crosses the bridge.
Turns around.
And chucks the only implement capable of chopping wood in a wood-starved fortress into the river.

I can only assume this to be a conspiracy of the farming caste against the managerial, mining and brewing elite, to drive them from the throne by popular revolt once the booze runs dry! This is treachery of the highest order. The bowmen are held back only by their lack of ammo (no wood again) and the fact that I want to avoid a loyalty cascade. The rulers can only hope the next caravan is made of Dwarves or of Men.
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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #182 on: April 28, 2012, 06:12:33 am »

I have just started (well, a few hours of actual play in, but my miners are lazy bums) a new fortress nestled in a nice little mountain here. Got a pretty good natural layout for a great big entrance for later on, but I figured I'd clear the slopes and excess portions off now, so I designate everything to be removed. This was a few hours ago when I first started, mind you.

So now I just get a message that a section of cavern has collapsed. I zoom in to the spot and notice it's just the outside trimming where the miners are channeling out some sand that is overhanging 1-2 blocks (depending on the spot) out over the main entrance. A portion of this had fallen in.

Endok Libadrith, a fisher, was near by (but not on top or underneath the collapsed section) suddenly got the unconscious message shortly after the cave-in. I zoomed in on him to see if he was perhaps fighting a fish and prayed he was not in the water, passed out. To my surprised, he was not. I didn't see any animals around him or anything either, so I checked his thoughts. Apparently, he was knocked out in the cave in. I guess that big puff of dust that comes from such events toss out a rock and hit the poor guy in the head XD

He's pretty stubborn it would seem. He's fishing in a 2x2 spot right next to the edge of the top of the entrance, and refuses to move, even though these small cave ins have knocked him out 4 times now. LOL
« Last Edit: April 28, 2012, 06:16:12 am by TheCoolSideofthePIllow »
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Keldor

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #183 on: April 28, 2012, 06:37:17 pm »

I have just started (well, a few hours of actual play in, but my miners are lazy bums) a new fortress nestled in a nice little mountain here. Got a pretty good natural layout for a great big entrance for later on, but I figured I'd clear the slopes and excess portions off now, so I designate everything to be removed. This was a few hours ago when I first started, mind you.

So now I just get a message that a section of cavern has collapsed. I zoom in to the spot and notice it's just the outside trimming where the miners are channeling out some sand that is overhanging 1-2 blocks (depending on the spot) out over the main entrance. A portion of this had fallen in.

Endok Libadrith, a fisher, was near by (but not on top or underneath the collapsed section) suddenly got the unconscious message shortly after the cave-in. I zoomed in on him to see if he was perhaps fighting a fish and prayed he was not in the water, passed out. To my surprised, he was not. I didn't see any animals around him or anything either, so I checked his thoughts. Apparently, he was knocked out in the cave in. I guess that big puff of dust that comes from such events toss out a rock and hit the poor guy in the head XD

He's pretty stubborn it would seem. He's fishing in a 2x2 spot right next to the edge of the top of the entrance, and refuses to move, even though these small cave ins have knocked him out 4 times now. LOL

He's found this wonderful spot for fishing where occasionally falling rocks blast fish out of the water.  Totally worth the hazard.
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Shoruke

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #184 on: May 02, 2012, 05:33:36 pm »

I have just started (well, a few hours of actual play in, but my miners are lazy bums) a new fortress nestled in a nice little mountain here. Got a pretty good natural layout for a great big entrance for later on, but I figured I'd clear the slopes and excess portions off now, so I designate everything to be removed. This was a few hours ago when I first started, mind you.

So now I just get a message that a section of cavern has collapsed. I zoom in to the spot and notice it's just the outside trimming where the miners are channeling out some sand that is overhanging 1-2 blocks (depending on the spot) out over the main entrance. A portion of this had fallen in.

Endok Libadrith, a fisher, was near by (but not on top or underneath the collapsed section) suddenly got the unconscious message shortly after the cave-in. I zoomed in on him to see if he was perhaps fighting a fish and prayed he was not in the water, passed out. To my surprised, he was not. I didn't see any animals around him or anything either, so I checked his thoughts. Apparently, he was knocked out in the cave in. I guess that big puff of dust that comes from such events toss out a rock and hit the poor guy in the head XD

He's pretty stubborn it would seem. He's fishing in a 2x2 spot right next to the edge of the top of the entrance, and refuses to move, even though these small cave ins have knocked him out 4 times now. LOL

That guy is a true Fisherdorf.
"This is where we fish.
My job is to fish.
So help me Armok, I will do my fishing here."
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Markus

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #185 on: May 05, 2012, 02:59:38 pm »

Why not include the time someone wanted to make a fort that wasn't so dysfunctional.

And lost because they got board.

I can't believe I did the above.
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FluffyBinLaden

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #186 on: May 06, 2012, 12:32:54 pm »

The stage was set, the battle begun. My military was pursuing a Cave Troll at full speed along the top of my medieval castle walls. The Cave Troll had just completed a rampage through my barracks full of sleeping dwarves, caught unawares by the relentless onslaught of merciless destruction as he came barreling through. The brave souls manning the parapets finally cornered the Troll at the end of my wall. No escape, no hope of survival. The valiant soldiers closed in and hacked away at the bastard, rending him to pieces.

Meanwhile, my Mayor was taking a lovely afternoon stroll, and, having just finished banning microcline furniture, was glad to be off work. He stopped by the kitchens, grabbed a snack, and decided to head outside to view the beautiful scenery of the mountainous landscape. He followed the gravelly path that ran alongside the large and rather imposing fortress walls, and was having a fantastic time of it, waving to friends and enjoying his respite.

All of a sudden, it all went terribly awry. The military finished off the Cave Troll, hewing his head from his shoulders in one last mighty stroke! The severed body part was thrown from the battlements and fell down the long walls.

It proceeded to hit my Mayor on the head and kill him. Funniest death ever.
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Kaiserr

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #187 on: May 06, 2012, 12:49:16 pm »

this happened recently,by recently i mean within the past hour.
Ok,so I ordered my military to jump some human merchants because they had overpriced everything.
They wouldn't even give me a freaking rope reed hood.
So my militia jumped them,killed them all,but suddenly my wrestler got charged by a stray dog.
Our own stray dog.
It bit his foot and he kicked it in the head so hard,it's skull shattered.
One shot,one kill.
Apparently,an armorer saw this and didn't like that.
So,he decided to pick up a shoe and run at him.
Wrestler did a chokeslam on him,really long combat,armorer died.
So I don't know what happened then,he didn't throw a tantrum,he didn't get melancholy or go berserk,but he just ran back to the barracks.
His fellow recruit did so too,and randomly the wrestler woke up.
He started strangling the recruit (and still is...) while he was in bed.
Now everyone is trying to feed him plump helmets for no reason.
WTF.
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MaximumZero

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #188 on: May 06, 2012, 10:16:21 pm »

The stage was set, the battle begun. My military was pursuing a Cave Troll at full speed along the top of my medieval castle walls. The Cave Troll had just completed a rampage through my barracks full of sleeping dwarves, caught unawares by the relentless onslaught of merciless destruction as he came barreling through. The brave souls manning the parapets finally cornered the Troll at the end of my wall. No escape, no hope of survival. The valiant soldiers closed in and hacked away at the bastard, rending him to pieces.

Meanwhile, my Mayor was taking a lovely afternoon stroll, and, having just finished banning microcline furniture, was glad to be off work. He stopped by the kitchens, grabbed a snack, and decided to head outside to view the beautiful scenery of the mountainous landscape. He followed the gravelly path that ran alongside the large and rather imposing fortress walls, and was having a fantastic time of it, waving to friends and enjoying his respite.

All of a sudden, it all went terribly awry. The military finished off the Cave Troll, hewing his head from his shoulders in one last mighty stroke! The severed body part was thrown from the battlements and fell down the long walls.

It proceeded to hit my Mayor on the head and kill him. Funniest death ever.
I lol'd. Well done.
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Friendstrange

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #189 on: May 06, 2012, 10:59:23 pm »

An extremely recent attack made me apreciate a single underdog dwarf.
Some background info:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The invaders outnumbered the fighting dwarves three to one and were all mounted on giant beasts, some of which were flying giant bats. And they had trolls.
As the civilians hurried inside the fortress three unfortunate ones were ripped apart by the beasts.

The marksdwarves stationed in the courtyard and the three squads of fighters formed a line at the chokepoint that was the entrance into the courtyard. The goblins mounted on Ginat Bats did not waste time and attempted to dive onto the marksdwarves. This has a mistake for the marksdwarfs fired hail after hail of bolts. But this did not stop one mounted goblin to slip into the main entrance of the fortress!
A descision had to be made.
Bomrek´s squad was chosen to go after the goblin.
Just as Bomrek entered the fortress in pursuit, the other military squads clashed against the first wave of goblins and trolls. some traps caught a few of the invaders but the dwarfs were still vastly outnumbered. As the military dwarves fought at the entrance the marksdwarfs managed to position themselves to support them, firing volleys of bolts into the skirmish.
As this happened the Goblin in the fortress had reached a wide open area filled with underground folliage in pursuit of a carpenter. This area was to be the future pasturing grounds for the fortress herds.
Bomrek arrived on the scene. The rest of his squad caught in the skirmish behind. He charged the Goblin Axemanand his great mount.
In the hurry of meeting the invaders, he had forgotten his hammer.
The dwarf punched, kicked, bit and wrestled the Goblin Axeman and his Giant Bat simultaneously. With a swift punch of his remaining arm he knocked ht Axeman´s weapon off and made the Bat fall unconcious, buying him precious moments. The battle raged on in a flury of teeth, punches and kicks.

Aboveground the busy milita had taken many a beast and goblin life with the assistance of the marksdwarves and the war dogs but the battle had been raging for an entire week and the toil and wounds of war were showing. The war dogs started to die, two dwarfs sucumbed to beasts.
But the military made a final push and routed the invaders. As the invaders ran the military divided itself between those too injured to pursue and those who went after the invaders. Of the pursuers two died to last-ditch attacks of the goblins.

Down below Bomrek threw a final punch and shattered the Goblin´s skull. The Giant Bat had fled to the surface and had been skewered by the bolts of the marksdwarfs. There were only five uninjured dwarves.

Bomrek returned for the second time to the hospital bed. He wondered what the future held in store for him.


TL;DR Bomrek is Jackie Chan.

And no, none of the military have anything above Skilled in combat skills. Bomrek somehow became an Expert Fighter and Proficient Wrestler through all of that.
This just happened five minutes ago and Im quite impressed by this guy as hes missing his right arm but managed to take out a mounted armed oponent.
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TinyPirate

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #190 on: May 12, 2012, 05:22:52 am »

Hi everyone! Thanks for the awesome contributions to this thread. Below is a sneak peek of one of the Tim Denee illustrations that will be in Getting Started with Dwarf Fortress, a story by imperium3 (Sorry, he isn't credited on this version of the image, but will be in the real one). The book is out in a couple or three weeks! Hurrah! I have some more news about the book as well:

- The book at launch will be current to 34.07. When the next version comes out I’ll update the book. Between waiting for the inevitable first patches and everyone working out the systems I expect it will take four weeks for between the next release and the updated ebook, hence the decision to publish now with the manuscript basically ready to go.

- If you buy the ebook through O’Reilly.com you get free updates as I update the manuscript, which I will do at every major release. If you buy the ebook through Amazon, you may end up paying less than O’Reilly but you don’t get the updates for free. You have to go to O’Reilly.com and pay $4.99 to upgrade to a version where you get the book updates for free. I don’t know why this is the case, publishing is weird.

- If you buy a print book it will be current to 34.07 and not magically update itself to include data on mine carts. If you want a print copy with mine cart info then you should wait until the next version is out. I’ll try and ensure the product page includes information on what version the book is currently at.

- I am passing all this on to try to ensure that those who have pre-ordered through Amazon or O’Reilly aren’t going to get less than they hoped for.


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Uristocrat

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #191 on: May 12, 2012, 05:32:36 am »

That's a lovely illustration!  I'll have to check that book out.

It's a pity there can't be any minecarts yet, but it's a bit hard to document them before they actually exist.  I even requested a crayon drawing of magma + minecarts + !!science!!

Hopefully we give you something to draw, too.  We're hard at work imagining how best to employ Dwarven railguns.  Magma is a given, but should they be filled with bolts?  Coins?  Bees?

Lead bars?

... Sperm whales?
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Tiruin

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #192 on: May 12, 2012, 08:45:01 am »

:)) , this was worth the post. Though I did not submit a story, I can't wait to see the rest!
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MaximumZero

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #193 on: May 13, 2012, 12:46:47 am »

O_O That's....awesome. Wow. Any spoilers on what else is going in the book?
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

TinyPirate

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Re: Your Dwarf Fortress anecdote - Illustrated!
« Reply #194 on: May 13, 2012, 05:16:50 am »

Would people be interested in a chapter breakdown? I could probably post that - not terribly interesting to read that though :)
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