Tali pursed her lips and stared into her coffee for moment.
Why indeed. The truth wasn't nice.
Tali had first seen in Kanesrae, a combination of skill with a blade, a hale constitution and a true measure of courage and a bit of innocence. All good reasons-but what clinched was her essential good nature. Because, Tali had known so cynically, the Elf lass would do the right thing, would not leave her to die, or betray her-likely not even to save herself.
And yet, Tali had known she could do these things, if she had to. She had done them before. Tali had spotted Rae first not as a real person-or anything close to a friend or ally. No, she had first seen her as a mark, someone to be manipulated, profited from, and discarded.
Like Toman. Like Caela. Like Regis.
But she became friends with the Elf. She was just so open...left herself so vulnerable. In Talis world, people just didn't act like that. Not even Toman had been that trusting.
Kanserae had implicitly trusted her...and when Tali had the chance to bail and leave the Elf in dire straits, she was able to excuse it away in her mind. Not today, she had mused. You still need her, she would think. Not now, she's too wary of you, her mind warned.
It took a while for her Dwarven mind to realize the excuses were getting increasingly poor. When it came to it, Tali just couldn't bring herself to cross that final line-to betray someone like Kanesrae would not just be a passing thing she could drink away-it would blacken her soul, make her into a monster.
So she stuck by the Elfs side-perhaps hoping in some small part, that Kanesrae would show her something good in the world, more than just surviving. Which was all she had done. But there was still a bad part of Tali, that wanted to see Kanesrae change, become more like her.
Then Tali wouldn't feel bad about the betrayal.
...She was good at hiding her emotions though-not much of this showed on her face. She just laughed and clapped the Elf on the back.
"Cause I knew a skinny lass like'd ya only eat quarter rations on the trail, and save me the rest. D'ja think I chose ya for yer tactical brilliance?"