Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1] 2

Author Topic: I need a good critique for a contest  (Read 2288 times)

atari2600

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
    • Restlessbear
I need a good critique for a contest
« on: February 09, 2012, 03:20:21 pm »

Hello Bay12! I think you are a great group of people that would give me a good critique. So here's the deal
Im about to be entering a contest for a cute monster t-shirt contest. I want you guys to tell me what you think. Do you like it? would you buy it if it was for sale? do you think it meets the cute requirement?
Please just take a look at it for me and tell me how you feel about it.

Heres a link to the picture please take a look. https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-0K5wZOUEXMI/TzQpvigbNNI/AAAAAAAAAMI/YQkEpl7sAWA/s640/Teeshirt+monster-01.jpg
Logged
Check out my blog, where I try to do at least one drawing a day! http://restlessbear.tumblr.com/

LordBucket

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2012, 04:42:15 pm »

Please just take a look at it for me and tell me how you feel about it.

Not really cute. The most prominent feature is the teeth. Teeth are not cute. Monsters use teeth to eat people. The next most prominent feature is the antlers. Antlers are used by adult male creatures to fight each other. Also not cute. The navel and tongue are both drawn. Neither of these are cute features. And the whole thing is puke green.

Really...there's nothing about it that's cute.

Suggestions:
Make the eyes bigger. Eliminate teeth and antlers. Give it a small body and large head. Change the color to baby blue. Make the mouth smaller and either remove or greatly shrink the tongue. Make the nose tiny, rather than drawing nostrils that imply a nose a third the width of the face. Make the arms shorter and bring them into the body rather than stretched out like it's attacking us. Put the hat on its head rather than leaving them on the antlers as if they landed there after decapitating someone.

Vector

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2012, 04:55:17 pm »

I think the monster is cute, if rather generic.  I think the angle at the bottom of the shirt is a bit weird, though...

I mean, let me put it this way.  I'm a (apparently very small by other people's standards) woman with brown hair and brown eyes.  How am I going to look wearing a gray shirt with a muddy green monster on it?  Dull.  Very dull.  Same goes for pretty much any color of hair, skin, and eyes that I might have.  I've never seen anyone look sexy in a plain gray T-shirt.
Logged
"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

freeformschooler

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2012, 05:01:32 pm »

Uh... what the others said, but I do think the tiny tophat is a nice touch :) As well as the arms.
Logged

Askot Bokbondeler

  • Bay Watcher
  • please line up orderly
    • View Profile
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2012, 05:07:44 pm »

it's a bowler hat, not a top hat

i rather like it, and think it's cute.


Please just take a look at it for me and tell me how you feel about it.

Not really cute. The most prominent feature is the teeth. Teeth are not cute. Monsters use teeth to eat people. The next most prominent feature is the antlers. Antlers are used by adult male creatures to fight each other. Also not cute. The navel and tongue are both drawn. Neither of these are cute features. And the whole thing is puke green.

Really...there's nothing about it that's cute.

Suggestions:
Make the eyes bigger. Eliminate teeth and antlers. Give it a small body and large head. Change the color to baby blue. Make the mouth smaller and either remove or greatly shrink the tongue. Make the nose tiny, rather than drawing nostrils that imply a nose a third the width of the face. Make the arms shorter and bring them into the body rather than stretched out like it's attacking us. Put the hat on its head rather than leaving them on the antlers as if they landed there after decapitating someone.
i vehemently disagree. your suggestions would make it rather generic, and unlikely of ever wining any kind of contest.

freeformschooler

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2012, 05:11:46 pm »

At that size, I couldn't tell quite what kind of hat it was with just a quick glance :I but on closer inspection you're right. I still like it.
Logged

Max White

  • Bay Watcher
  • Still not hollowed!
    • View Profile
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2012, 05:43:16 pm »

I think it would look more cute if you just removed the arms all together. No arms. Armless green blob.

DeKaFu

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #7 on: February 09, 2012, 06:00:58 pm »

Initial gut reactions:

Mouth is too big and/or too happy. It gives it an almost aggressive appearance and doesn't convey any interesting emotion.

Nostrils are too large for where they're placed.

Also the belly-button (?) down at the bottom there looks like a cloaca to me.

I'd rate it maybe 3/10 on the cuteness scale, personally. But that's obviously subjective.

Edit: I should say that I generally don't find creatures in this style "cute" at all. Sorry if the above came off as overly negative. I was trying to approach it critically like a judge.
« Last Edit: February 09, 2012, 06:06:51 pm by DeKaFu »
Logged

Svarte Troner

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #8 on: February 09, 2012, 07:34:06 pm »

Give it a beard and a disposition toward the consumption of alcohol brewed from cave mushrooms.
Logged
That metal guy that pops up sometimes in places
To put it simply, Dwarf Fortress is the Black Metal of video games.

Vector

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #9 on: February 09, 2012, 07:35:39 pm »

Also the belly-button (?) down at the bottom there looks like a cloaca to me.

I hate myself for saying this, but it's the first thing I thought of as well.  Sorry, bro ;_;
Logged
"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

atari2600

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
    • Restlessbear
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #10 on: February 09, 2012, 08:32:03 pm »

Thanks for the replies I really appreciate the opinions. The colors didn't come out how I wanted them to. I was working on a Mac and the colors were nice and bright, but when I took it back to my PC it was all muddy. the belly button needs some work I agree. The big mouth thing is just part of my style some people like it or some don't. http://whitmer08.deviantart.com/gallery/
The nostrils do look a bit odd. The arms stay just because he is supposed to be supper happy and wiggly. 
Logged
Check out my blog, where I try to do at least one drawing a day! http://restlessbear.tumblr.com/

alfie275

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2012, 09:25:24 am »

If you wanna make it cuter, you could always make the eyes stupidly big.
Logged
I do LP of videogames!
See here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/MrAlfie275

atari2600

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
    • Restlessbear
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #12 on: February 10, 2012, 11:05:11 am »

If you wanna make it cuter, you could always make the eyes stupidly big.

I don't think I need to make it cuter. Im getting a lot of mixed things on this. People that I'm friends with say they are liking it. here it has been fairly negative. but I might head over to the computers today and put some more time into it before I have to head to work today. Thank you for the comment, Keep em coming!
Logged
Check out my blog, where I try to do at least one drawing a day! http://restlessbear.tumblr.com/

Brackev

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #13 on: February 10, 2012, 02:14:44 pm »

Skinny and sharp are not very cute.  I'd beef up the antlers and make them rounded. 
I love the hat on the antlers. 
I agree with the others about the belly button. 
The body needs something...  A small tuft of fur perhaps?

Logged
-------

Dinos with hammers, there is no escape.

atari2600

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
    • Restlessbear
Re: I need a good critique for a contest
« Reply #14 on: February 10, 2012, 03:05:34 pm »

I'd beef up the antlers and make them rounded.   
The body needs something...  A small tuft of fur perhaps?

Making the antlers a bit beefier could be good.
I was thinking his skin would be a bit like a whale so thats why there isn't fur

Logged
Check out my blog, where I try to do at least one drawing a day! http://restlessbear.tumblr.com/
Pages: [1] 2