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Author Topic: ITT: We Are Goblins  (Read 5304 times)

kaenneth

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ITT: We Are Goblins
« on: February 06, 2012, 11:02:43 pm »
Well, it's that time of year, time to export Terror to the dorfs.

I know the last 17 sieges we sent never returned. They must have looted great treasure from the dorfs, then ran away so we wouldn't get any!

Summon the trolls! Grab the silver whips! Get some loot before it's all gone! And kill some dorfs while you're at it!
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Urist_McArathos

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2012, 01:08:45 am »
Bring back some children for me, would you?  Precious, precious beardy babies.
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Ogdibus

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2012, 10:20:40 am »
.
« Last Edit: July 01, 2013, 07:48:21 am by Ogdibus »
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Oliolli

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2012, 10:24:10 am »
...they'll stuff it full of vengeance and fling it back out at us.
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Cyroth

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2012, 03:40:23 pm »
Just run towards the first open entrance to their fort. They are just dwarves, what could possibly go wrong?
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Quote from: Loud Whispers on December 24, 2014, 07:25:45 pm
Demons are preferable to ravens.
Quote from: billybobfred on February 04, 2012, 01:22:24 am
A noble just suffered a genuine unfortunate accident.
Has that ever happened before?

Pokon

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2012, 03:57:52 pm »
I say that we take our iron knives and whips and melt them down to make better armor. After all, what good would they be against there armor?
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Cyroth

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2012, 04:04:42 pm »
Armor? What are you a puny human?
Next you'll tell us to wait outside their fortress for them to come out. And call that "sieging" or something silly.

Shad'ap and get on the trolls.
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Quote from: Loud Whispers on December 24, 2014, 07:25:45 pm
Demons are preferable to ravens.
Quote from: billybobfred on February 04, 2012, 01:22:24 am
A noble just suffered a genuine unfortunate accident.
Has that ever happened before?

penguinofhonor

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2012, 05:28:07 pm »
The dwarves suddenly stopped attacking us in the year 1051. I guess that means we started winning the war then, right?
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Mike Mayday

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2012, 05:28:59 pm »
The fuck is this

You's no goblins

EDIT: wait, Oliolli is. SORRY!
« Last Edit: February 07, 2012, 05:33:43 pm by Mike Mayday »
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<3

penguinofhonor

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2012, 05:41:31 pm »
Sh, don't you see the green on my head and my pointy orange nose? Goblins come in a variety of colors, my good sir.
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Cyroth

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2012, 05:46:28 pm »
I (my avatar) qualify, too.
[X] Strange/no real morals
[X] Does horrible things to children
[X] Generally hated


I think its the spirit that counts.  8)
You don't have to be green to be mean.
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Quote from: Loud Whispers on December 24, 2014, 07:25:45 pm
Demons are preferable to ravens.
Quote from: billybobfred on February 04, 2012, 01:22:24 am
A noble just suffered a genuine unfortunate accident.
Has that ever happened before?

Gotdamnmiracle

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2012, 05:49:43 pm »
Is that an adventurer asleep in the woods?

*hefts his bronze warhammer*

Mines American Psycho. Or Christian Bale. Whichever you think is more appropriate.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2012, 05:54:35 pm by Gotdamnmiracle »
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Quote from: Mr. Palau on March 24, 2012, 08:45:34 am
Go back see if he's there and run him over, and drink his gun!

Logen910

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2012, 05:57:35 pm »
Oh shit they're flooding with magma. Better hold my breath now and swim for my life. (usual thought of a goblin before swimming in magma - Note: not comfirmed yet)
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Pikdome

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2012, 07:17:23 pm »
Yeah I tell you the strangest thing happened the other day. I was doing my usual goblin thief thing, when some dwarf lady spotted me, she was some kind of conscript, I went to stab her as she ran towards me, then as I stabbed her in her right upper chest with my copper dagger, she gave birth, right then and there, then she scooped up the baby in her left arm and continued trying to punch me. I had no idea you could go through labor that fast, especially when your in the middle of a fight with someone, freaking dwarves.

I decided it easiest to snatch the baby by stabbing her in her right arm then wrestling the baby away from her, I'm going to get a promotion to child snatcher for sure.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2012, 07:20:15 pm by Pikdome »
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Lumix

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Re: ITT: We Are Goblins
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2012, 10:45:47 pm »
Quote from: Pikdome on February 07, 2012, 07:17:23 pm
Yeah I tell you the strangest thing happened the other day. I was doing my usual goblin thief thing, when some dwarf lady spotted me, she was some kind of conscript, I went to stab her as she ran towards me, then as I stabbed her in her right upper chest with my copper dagger, she gave birth, right then and there, then she scooped up the baby in her left arm and continued trying to punch me. I had no idea you could go through labor that fast, especially when your in the middle of a fight with someone, freaking dwarves.

I decided it easiest to snatch the baby by stabbing her in her right arm then wrestling the baby away from her, I'm going to get a promotion to child snatcher for sure.

What is this... i dont even...
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Quote from: Broseph Stalin on August 26, 2011, 09:30:27 am
I know it's fairly common but I killed 180+ people in his civilization before I went after him. I was kind of hoping for something a bit more substantial than a sucker punch and penis theft.
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