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[chaoticag]

I know you mean well, but despite that, I feel like I've been given a backhanded insult, and that you're taking advantage of my situation in order to proselytize me.

As far as spiritual matters go, I'm fine in my beliefs as is, and they are contributing nothing negative to the way I feel.

[alway]

A general lack of caring, overly negative questioning of self worth, and lack of willpower to do anything sounds to me like some of the classic symptoms of depression. Keep in mind, it may or may not actually be something you are capable of fixing simply through psychological means. If things don't improve despite the psychoanalysis therapy, I would suggest taking steps to determine whether the cause is physiological or psychological. If it is something you have no control over, medication is a viable option. As much as others are saying you absolutely can turn things around on your own, the fact of the matter is, that may not be true. If the things you are trying just aren't working, I would recommend going to a psychologist or psychiatrist, as they have expertise in this area and can point you to either more effective strategies or, if necessary, medication.

That said, such steps are still far down the road, if it's even a road that needs travelling at all. I would suggest at least skimming through the wiki page I linked up above, as it contains a lot of information you may find helpful.