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Author Topic: Dwarven New Year  (Read 578 times)

Leif

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Dwarven New Year
« on: December 31, 2011, 07:59:32 am »
How are your dorfs celebrating the new year.(Thats is, of course, of there sadistic, murderous benevolent overlords)
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612DwarfAvenue

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Re: Dwarven New Year
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2011, 08:03:30 am »
They're busy building the Magma Forges and Barracks over an open volcano, BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO. Happy New Year!
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King DZA

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Re: Dwarven New Year
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2011, 08:05:40 am »
Don't be silly, every day I maintain control over their fragile little lives is cause for celebration! And how else could one possibly celebrate such a joyous time other than obediently following my commands?

In fact, I invite everyone to join in on the celebration!
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Chilton

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Re: Dwarven New Year
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2011, 08:11:09 am »
I gave them some Pet Goblins <3

...For the Dungeon.
Seriously, theyre REALLY Happy about it. Obscenely Happy. About killing droves of Goblins.
And more will come!  ;D
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Broseph Stalin

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Re: Dwarven New Year
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2011, 08:45:13 am »
The dwarven festival of the new year is three fold and celebrates all things that make Dwarf Fortress great.

First: the feast of plump helmets, only plump helmets will be eaten only plump helmet wine will be drunk. Those who complain of the same old booze, food, or otherwise slander the glorious plump helmet will be dropped into the caverns and will not be allowed to return  until they fill a specially designated stockpile with one hundred gathered plump helmets.

Second the parade of dorfiness: all hands will be given picks and a section 5x10 and 5 z levels deep will be designated for channeling the miners stupid enough to severely injure themselves by digging  the ground out from under their own feet will be given gifts of fine socks and will spend the rest of the festival being hand fed plump helmets by the slanderers.

And third: the crucible of insanity, spectators will watch from a window while feats of various ridiculousness occur in an arena, four dogs will fight a bear, a child will fight two crundles, one hundred kittens will fight a goblin, a man will fight a horse, and then when it can become no more insane we will send the military to the center of the arena unblock the way to the circus and dwarves will fight clowns.

If your celebration doesn't end the world you aren't doing it right.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Dwarven New Year
« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2011, 10:21:39 am »
My humans are off meditating, building houses, fishing and training. Like Samurai. Aweshum.

...My Dwarves on the other hand are busy setting up the booze fireworks and are currently sparring punching each other violently with the lobster !!RAGE!! fists I gave them.
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Zinc23

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Re: Dwarven New Year
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2011, 12:23:24 pm »
Well, they're celebrating my crying and destroying things...  Smells like it's going to be a very Dorfy New Year.
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